hobby life have you seen on the front page of a local news paper? I've seen none. He's overstating his case. Yes, one should ask themselves what they would do if their hobby activity came to light. It makes one much more cautious and careful if they do. And, some others come to the place where they find it's just not worth taking a chance any longer.

BTW! How did that last date go?

-- Modified on 6/3/2010 9:00:42 PM

i seriously examined the consequences. i carefully considered them BEFORE i got into it.
i was even at one point threatened with outing.  it's the reason i've inconvenienced some of you with different email and phone info.

BUT the folks close to me would understand that i did this because stress reduction was a critical issue for me. they'd forgive. the rest can go take a fast flying leap.

if i would be compelled by embarrassment to retire professionally.... well my stresses would be low enough i could retire from the hobby as well.

silver linings and all that.....

I'd be so busy signing autographs and accepting congratulations from my friends, I wouldn't care!

Maybe I'd sell the movie rights....I can see it now in lights  "race car, golfer fanatic with mini-dick somehow has enough money left to get laid!"

Well, I expose parts of it. It seems to only bother those who let it bother them

Many of the ladies in the sex industry I have been out with on "civie dates" (both escorts and strippers) and I can honestly say that I enjoy the company of the ladies... if it were exposed, it would surprise many, NOT that I frequent escorts, rather that some of the ladies I have been seen with ARE in fact, Escorts....

In essence, I believe that the lady would be more embarassed than I... to be seen "gasp" with Moi!!!

Not at all

Everyone that knows me knows I'm a slut anyway. Some just don't know to what degree.

And the fact that I don't give a fuck what most people think of me in the firstplace, well, should speak volumes.

What? You're gonna tell my boss I hobby?

Who do you think turned HIM onto it?!

I think you sum it up for a lot of guys out there.  Content in their relationships, yet needing more physically.  No remorse or compunction, because we have the ability to seperate and compartmentalize relationships and sex.  

Hey, we are procreators by nature, so we'll chalk it up to instinct.  Too bad the wives don't think that way.


As a gag, I would leave my next session payment on a table in an envelope.

People would be embarassed (as would I) and very likely hurt and angry at my decisions and my deception.  But, they would still love me because ultimately I will always be the same person they have always loved all along.  What I do in my hobby life does not change the person I am in my heart and does not change the person they know me to be.  So, woopie do.  I can survive the embarrassment and the hurt feelings.  Life goes on.  Nobody has ever died of embarassment that I know of.  Certainly I would not.    LOL, Believe me, it would not be the first time nor would it be the last time I was embarrassed or had people hurt and angry with me.   I would get over it as would my family and friends.  I would continue in this life because I enjoy it.

Not that I would look forward to it as I am a private person by nature.

Who knows?  Maybe I'd get a gig on Oprah.

I believe in living in transparency and authenticity.....

my various housemates have always known that I "hobbied" - frankly, that I was a bit of a compulsive serial philanderer.

That my "issues" came with the package.

And they have been less threatened by my seeing providers than they would have been if I was carrying on with a civvie.

I have no living family in the US to concern myself with

and thankfully I am not afflicted with the prevailing western superstitions with their bronze age Levantine tribal customs and mores so I experience no ego dystonia over hobbying.

Explore this with you, so the question is appropriate. I'm not sure it's appropriate to insist on a course of action. Only you can make that decision.

would def not approve of my lifestyle.  My brother already knows, and understands why I hobby, even if he does not fully approve either.  My ex-wife (mother of my kids) would undoubtedly try to give me some shit, but I can tell her to just mind her own fucking business.

Since I am retired, have no SO to worry about, it would not impact me in those aspects of 'outing'.

One question, why the fuck would a therapist be asking a question like that in the first place????  How is asking that question going to help your life?  IMHO, it's none of his damn business, unless you asked him for an opinion of your hobby life.  If not, then you should just tell him to STFU about it.  It's your decision whether or not to hobby, not his.

Swim

and then see if he still has the same opinion.

I'll bet he changes his tune!

Assuming your therapist is a he. Ih she's a she, then offer to show her what you've learned ny hobbying.

Have you expressed concerns to your therapist about your hobbying?  If you have, and a concern of yours has been the impacts of your hobbying being discovered on your life, then helping you to be realistic about those possible impacts may be helpful to you.

The idea of your hobbying being "exposed on the front page of the local newspaper" seems to me an unrealistic exaggeration on your therapist's part, however - it would be more realistic to say that the revelation would be confined to your spouse, family, and friends, and perhaps not even that far. I do think, though, that it would likely have a serious impact on your marriage, based on what you have said in your post.

I do not think that there is any such thing as "sex addiction". However, some people engage in compulsive sexual behaviors, and others have problems with impulsiveness - basically, they engage in behaviors which provide a short term reward but have long term negative consequences.

Lastly, a therapist should never put themself in a position in which they are dictating a client's behavior (actually, no therapist can truly do this in any case).  However, if you and your therapist both entered into an agreed-upon treatment "contract" at the beginning of treatment (for example, some therapists might insist on an agreement in which the client agrees not to attempt suicide during treatment, as a condition for treatment to continue), and you are about to violate the treatment "contract", then the therapist is within his rights to point this out to you.  

-- Modified on 6/4/2010 1:16:43 PM

I'd be a bit embarrassed based on who it was that found out. If it was anyone in my immediate family or my maternal grandmother I'd feel some kind of way big-time...anyone else I don't think i'd care at all.