It sounds like you NEED a reason to wake-up from the surgery.  Go see the provider.  Fuck it, make it a threesome.  If that doesn't give you the will to live, nothing will.  

Last time I thought I might meet the Grim Reaper

I booked my first provider . I no longer worry of dying,  
    I'm spending my worries in search for a keeper .
 
  Attitude is everything and more  , I hope you do whatever it takes to change yours .
  Think positive , it will  ward off the negative .

   Don't let Granny nurse beat the hot one to your sponge bath .
 
 

I would call the Lady who was at the top of my "bucket List"

Yes, I do have a "list" of ladies that I know I would probably never get a chance to see; or only see for a "special occassion." (In fact, there is a lady I've already contacted about dating her for my birthday in a few months, she has almost perfect 10/10 ratings). So if my wife/SO were as uncaring as you say that's what I would do. If there was any "love" left in our relationship then I would try to spend as much time with my wife as possible. Traumatic times like you postulate can either bring people closer together or split them further apart.

First, slip your sleeping SO the High Hard One.  My ex used to love to be woken up this way.  Later, go see a provider for some strange.  Die with smile on face.

The reason I started doing this is because I was determined not to have regrets when the time comes. Hopefully, that's still sometime away, but you never know....

I hope everything goes well, I am sure it will. Honestly though, if you are REALLY afraid that you might not wake up then go visit your family. Not sure if you have kids or grandchildren,  but spend it with someone you love or someone that loves you.

If that sounds yucky to you, then see a provider you really have fun with and enjoy. It would suck to see someone that you did not click with. Who needs that for their last hoorah.

Really though, sorry you have to have surgery and hope you get better soon.

This also depends on what kind of surgery you are having. If the podiatrist is going to take off a bunion, I probably would save my hobby money for a post-recovery celebration. But if you are going to have your chest cracked, or perhaps brain surgery, I'd call one of the ladies in the top one hundred list. Even for major surgery the odds of dying are usually less than 5%, overall. Of course, that depends on your other health issues. From clots in the lungs, MIs, strokes, infections, blood loss, and medication reactions, I've had patients die on me over the years. Me, I would make the call...