I need some advice from the ladies and gentlemen of The Erotic Review.
This might be a long read but I would greatly appreciate your input.
I am 21 years old and started escorting this past year only part time.Would
work for a week or two and return home(I live on the west coast and would
travel to the eastern US), only worked for a total of 2 months. So I am
relatively inexperienced(have seen less than 35 clients total).

So this past summer(in June) I was working in a major city in the eastern US and I
met a great guy(single/never married,in his early 30's). Didn't think it would
lead anywhere but he asked for my number(was working for an agency and this
is a big NO,NO) and asked if I wanted to go out. Needless to say I gave him
my number. We went out and had a great time. I didn't ask to be compensated
for my time nor did he offer. But he treated me to a night out. Didn't have
sex, the subject didn't even come up. Anyways so I returned home(we had
exchanged email address). So we corresponded with each other for a few weeks
thru email and phone calls. He invited me to visit(he brought my ticket)but
never did we talk about me being compensated. It would of been nice but it wasn't necessary as it wasn't all about the money for me . He did
pay for almost everything we did(I was with him for 2 weeks). So I proceeded
to visit him 3 more times(each time for about 2 weeks).I bought my ticket 1 of the times. I am starting to
have extremely strong feelings for him but I question if this relationship has a future?? When were together there is no other place I would rather be than with him.
I have met some of his friends and his family knows I
exist(but not how we met).  I have tried talking to him about what the
status is of our relationship is but he says he doesn't want to talk about
it on the phone, as he hates talking on the phone like most guys I know
distance is a major issue for him. He has stated that he feels long distance
relationships dont work(I live over 3000 miles away). He has said that if I
lived closer there would be no doubt in his mind that we would be dating.
Also another issue is him seeing other providers. I know he has seen other
providers since I have known him(actually one lady who posts on this board
that I know of). It does bother me but since I dont know the status of our
relationship it isn't really my place to say anything. He did tell me before
that if he is in a serious relationship ie.living with someone he does not
partake in the hobby.

So I guess my question to you all is how should I go about asking him about
our future(if we even have one)without freaking him out as it seems to be a
really touchy subject with him and I dont want to scare him off. I did bring
it up before and it strained our relationship for a few weeks. I apologize
if my problems seems so juvenile but I dont really have a lot of people to
talk about this with considering how we met as none of my family or friends
know I was escorting.

I do appreciate all insight and input you can give.

EDIT: After I posted this alot of posts concerning relationships with providers seemed to pop up, so I am sorry if you feel you have seen the same story numerous times.

-- Modified on 11/18/2003 12:50:25 AM

-- Modified on 11/18/2003 12:51:11 AM

not getting much response are you?

You only saw him once as a provider and he seems to be ok with what you do since his folks know about you so I would treat this as a civilian relationship.

So my questions would be

Do you always do the traveling or does he do some?
Are you willing to move or is he?
Is this the amount of time you see someone beore you start looking for sort sort of committment?
To him seeing other providers is the equivalent of multiple girlfriends, is he ready to settle down for a bit?

You are simply going to have to sit down with him and have a conversation.  It is unlikely you will scare him off if he is interested in you, and if not, then you have your answer.

It seems to me you are his little fling. You are around for the fun part. To me, it seems that he is NOT seeking a relationship that you are seeking. I am sure at this point sex is involved.

You are sort of dating him, but NOT as a client/escort.

I also don't think you are handling him seeing other escorts, while seeing you.

Don't set yourself up too much. Be honest. Be open. Stay communicating. IF he doesn't want to talk about it, well honey, that should tell you everything you need to know.

Good Luck, Shaye

I agree with what Shaye suggested.

I will add, relations are work no matter how you met or how far apart you are. I did not get a true sense of what it was that you wanted? What would you like to have happen? Maybe if you start by being clear with yourself, you might be able to express what you want and need from him more clearly.

In the mean time strive to be the best person you can be. Feel great about who you are inside. Then no matter how it turns out you will be better for the experience.

Much Love
Bear

just as he's likely to forget you in due course of time ... this doesn't really sound like a legitimate relationship (at least not one that is equal on all levels)

you are too young to hitch your wagon to this "star"

forget him.

He seems to want you only when it is convenient for him.

I second Singleton's suggestion.

The fact that he doesn't like to talk on the phone, tells me that he has communication issues.

The phone is a vehicle of communication.

This is a tricky one.

I know of several girls who have been in this situation.  It seems to be working ok for some.

Sometimes, the man continues to see escorts, while the escort continues working.  If this is something you can both agree on and feel comfortable, then you could give it some thought.  You are young, and you have to make your own mistakes.  But dont make any irrational decisions like moving to be close to him until you are absolutely certain that the relationship is going somewhere, and its fair.

Like the posters above.. its really time you sat down and had a long face to face with him.

Whatever happens, good luck.  I hope you choose the correct path and that it makes you happy and if things don't work out.. you can always come back to the job!

Take it from a guy who understands the way a guy's mind works.  If he doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't want it.  He is perfectly happy the way things are, and doesn't want to take it further.  He is happy to pay for things while you are visiting because he is getting laid.  He has even gotten you to pay for a trip!  Has he taken the time to visit you?  Has he said anything at all about a future other than "If you lived closer, we would be dating?"  Are you willing to move?  Is he?  

Relationships are based on open and honest communication.  If a guy "freaks out," or doesn't want to talk about it on the phone, it is because he doesn't want to communicate, often because communication will spoil what he has going.

Don't get too wrapped up with this guy or you're asking for trouble.

Are you still "providing"?  Your post doesn't make clear.  If you are, and the fact that he sees other providers in your absence really bothers you, you need to reevaluate your situation.

Would you want to quit escorting if he agreed to a committed relationship?  Not to please him, but because that's how you'd want to live.  If the answer is no, then just let him drift away.

If the answer is yes, see if he'll fly out to visit you.  It seems that money is not a problem for him.  Lots of guys are terrified by the c-word, so I'm suspicious of his not wanting to discuss it on the phone.  If he's willing to come out your way and discuss it with you that's a hopeful sign.

Whatever you decide, and however this plays out, I wish you well.

I have not returned to providing since I met him. I wasn't planning on returning as long as him and I were involved in a relationship(if you can call it that).  I wanted to give the relationship a fair chance and felt if I was "working" it would just complicate things even more.
We have talked about him coming and visiting me. Due to his job its hard for him to get away longer than a day or two and with me living so far it wouldn't be worth it. I also have a much more flexible schedule that is why I was the one always doing the visiting.

I want to thank everyone for your input. You all have given me a lot to think about.

And for the person who e-mailed me. I am not a VIP member so feel free to e-mail me @
[email protected]

feels so good, You have to remind yourself that you are entitled
to have yours needs met in any relationship that you may
want! Don't blow off your own needs or let someone else
put off talking about what is on your mind! I agree with
most of the other posts that say for you to move on and look
for someone who is more willing to have what you also seek
in a relationship. You take care of you and don't let any
one let you feel that you are entitled to any less than what
you seek!