Okay heres the deal , I have been seeing this Lady for about a year. She was working for an agency when I first met her, we hit it off and we saw each  ( professionally)other after the agency closed. She is under the Radar and only sees a couple of close friends or so she told me. We meet once a month, 3hours of Play time and a few hours at a great restaurant I pay for everything. We seem to be comforatble with each other and we talked about going for a long weekend to South Florida. We agreed on a "Gift" and I would pay for airfare, Hotel  and all meals. Everything seemed fine until  a couple of days before we were to leave she e mailed me with a few rules for our trip:
1) a room key for each of us ( ok no problem)
2) payment on arrival (ok, we usually arent that formal but OK.
3) One Night out for herself without me - this one bothered me.
Although There is a age difference between us ,im in my 40s she is in her mid 20s we seem to have a lot in common  and have a good time. Should I have a problem with this request? Not that I want to spend every minute together but is she being a little selfish or am I. I feel like canceling now but Im thinking things over before I make my decision.

Pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered. Give her a night away to do anything she wants incluging screwing the pool boy if thats what she wants to do. Sure, it's your dime, but you don't own her. If you want to keep this little hottie happy, give her room to breathe. She's got more waiting if you screw it up.

If you are inviting her and footing the bill + giving her a gift and she wants to go off alone (probably booking a call) I would pass. This and many other reasons are only doing overnights with my ATF and I am clear about expectations up front.

JMTC
- LF*

What Hands Free says may work, but if I'm paying her to be MY escort, on my dime, then I see nothing wrong with wanting her to be with me on MY terms.

Look, if she wants a little space, OK.  But a night out on the town, without me, on my dime - there's sometging wrong with this.  It seems like you may be falling for her, but remember what she does. These "rules" hint that maybe you are not as exclusive as you think, and that while she may enjoy the things you provide, she's still looking elsewhere.

Just my .02

Just like if a man needs his space, so does a woman. I don't think that one day off (just do not pay her for the day she wants off), is going to ruin your "relationship" with her!!!!!!! Everyone NEEDS their space, and so do you. Maybe she wanted to visit friends or family in that area, for that particular day? Maybe that will give you a chance to get caught up  with friends or family of your own, in that area (?). In the end, she will thank you for it and you, her. But whatever you do, don't force restrictions  on her, for she will most likely NOT have a good time, and your "date" may just end a bit earlier than expected.

Good luck!

p.s.

At least let the lady take a sh*t in peace, will ya???? lol



-- Modified on 1/11/2006 5:03:17 PM

Be a man.  This is your hooker, not your wife.

. . . if you like, renegotiate the "gift".

with UTR friends, usually people I've known for at least a few years at least. They've always turned out at least OK,and often great, but I must say that I find her ground rules a bit odd.
I for one would rethink the whole thing and I think you must be rethinking it as well, or you wouldn't be posting this.
It doesn't sound right and I would pass if I were you, or truncate the trip to just one night.

A long weekend is probably 3 nights (TH, F, Sa).  If she gets a night to herself, then subtract 1/3 from the gift.  I can see an afternoon to visit friends or relatives, but a night--sounds like she wants to go clubbing or make a side date.  As always, YMMV.

I only do overnights.  I always arrange the hotel, flights, entertainment during any encounter.  I'm paying for her time, therefore I expect her to be there for me.  If she wants a night or day off, I would expect the gift to reflect a lower rate.  My advise would be to pick any overnight guest very carefully.  If you research well, you can probably find just the right type lady that you are looking for.

I'm with oleguy on this one. Only book overnights or more. I do make sure that there is time during the day when we are doing different things but that is very different than a night off.

Oleguy: So providers are just supposed to toss out the fact that they might need a little space (it doesn't sound like she's asking for a lot) so that they can have their head stuck up your ass the entire time?

She has every right to ask you for some time to herself, especially on such a long visit. We're not machines, and sometimes we do need some breathing room. Typically, on a multiday visit, the client does get a lower rate than were he to book those days separately. There's your discount.

And to those of you convinced that she's going to be working on her time off... we do have lives outside the hobby, you know.

My recomendation would be to subtract a third of the donation, look up a hot babe on TER in Florida, while your provider is out on the town, and have, "HER", rock your world!

don't forget to email your provider with your plans, as she might need to make hotel arrangements for the night, depending on the caliber of escort you choose, for "YOUR" night on the town.

Now that's what I'm talking about! Life is entirely too short to fret over minor details. Have fun ss425!

Desi,

I picked up on the same idea as you and I think the may just like her a little to much (and she knows it) that if he smothers her, there won't be much fun in bedrock. If I were him, I'd spend my weekend with someone a bit more mature who takes my dime seriously and at least genuinely enjoys all of my time. If I were mixing work with pleasure sure I'd want her to do whatever she could fill the time with.

-- Modified on 1/11/2006 9:58:14 PM

depends on gift size.....

I have a regular client who has offered to pay for hotel, airfare and all meals plus 3 hours worth of playtime.(1 hr private session each night) plus hours of talking and companionship.

I have agreed to leave on a friday and come back on a monday. I am still discussing events with him. I don't care about gambling/casinos and he wants to go to Las Vegas. I want to see the shows and will use my gift to see these shows.  I think I am giving him a fair deal as I am going to spend a lot of time with him hanging out.

He is already paying for hotel and I eat only a little.

When we go to Las Vegas, I am getting my money in advance as I know he will spend every dime on the poker

Again, everyone needs a time out. All types of relationships do, regardless of who is paying for whose time here. She certainly is not asking for his hand in marriage here, but why do I get the feeling that he would like to be "balled & chained" to her through out their time together?????????????? Does he want her to be there in the bathroom too, while he is taking a leak or something???

Again, the best way to handle it is to re-negotiate the funds into a lower fee, and let the lady have a breather for one night. Mind you, it's just for ONE NIGHT.  So reserve the "ball & chain" act for the wifey.

Geesh, it's good to be single in America!!!!



-- Modified on 1/11/2006 10:36:04 PM

If you are paying below "rack rate" on the gift, agree. If you're paying full 24 hr rate x however many days, no dice. Business is business. If she wants a vacation, let her do it on her own dime. If you got a good deal, cut her some slack.

Reon't smother the lady

Reasons space = good:

1. She needs to call her family/roomate/etc and check in.
2. She needs to take a crap in peace/ polish her nails/ *relax* in a bath to relieve her sore muscles from so much play/ take a nap/ go to the gym to keep her body in shape.
3. You're getting on her nerves and/or she's getting on yours.

If I were you, I'd cancel the trip.  Consider her demand as a clear sign that she views you as an ATM and nothing more.  I've gone on a number of trips with providers before, and the deal is that THEY ARE WITH YOU!  Anything less than that will be a signal for her that she'll be able to take advantage of you, and you can bet your life that she will in any number of different ways.  You should consider this a clearcut warning shot, and get out now!

Ok, so a long weekend typically means 3 and maybe four nights.  Giving her the benefit of the doubt and saying that it is four nights, that means during 1/4 of the nights she will be without you.  What the heck are you supposed to do?  

I would think that if you are paying for the room, food, plane tickets, and even more money, she should be "faithful" to you during the time she is there.  If she wishes to go away for one night, then simply tell her that you are paying for her time, and she is not fulfilling that part of the contract by not staying with you.

I say forget the whole trip.  She seems to be thinking of this trip as a way to get somewhere she has not been before, and the "night out" is a way to get something more out of you.

Those who say that you should "give her some space" do not understand that you are basically paying for everything.  If she paid her own airfare, and stayed with you in your room, and you only paid for the actual time, then she could do whatever she wanted during the off time.  

When I go on a business trip for my company, I am required to be working for the company when I am on the trip.  If I decide to take an extra day to sightsee, I pay for the hotel room myself.

It reminds me of a very UTR woman I see occassionally.  She was going away with one of her other friends, where he was going to a conference in South Florida.  She was already planning on meeting some "hot guys" while he was at the conference and bringing them back to the room he rented.  I simply explained to her that it would be a VERY bad idea to do that.

It doesn't sound to me as though this is a business trip for him, though. If it's not, then chances are, they're going to be together the entire rest of the trip. I understand that he is paying for everything, but shouldn't she have a nice time as well? Sure, customers first and all that, but a little time to one's self can go a long way.

And the flip side of the coin: I find it very disrespectful that a provider would go out and meet "hot guys" on her client's money and time. Shame on you, ladies, for giving the rest of us a bad name.

the time. I find that unacceptable because your paying full boat. If you were going for a week or more, I would agree to her terms. But NOT for a long weekend.

she obviously confused you with a boyfriend/husband role. How rude.

I do overnight calls and multiple days all the time. Here is the deal. When you book these calls the rates are usually discounted. Whether she should have time to herself depends on if she cut a deal with you on her normal rate or if she charged you regular rate that is posted on her site. That is the first question I have. I have made deals with clients before where I gave them a reduced rate for service and they paid for room and flight, but because they did not payfull rate I was allowed to make money while there in exchange for them not paying full rate. Now if you are paying full rate I think she should provide you with undivided attention. I normallly arrange to have my own room anyway that way everyone can come and go as they please. I have had clients that had me fly there and then they picked up another girl locally and then saw me the next day. It all depends on the client and the girl. What ever the situation it is best to get an understanding up front and both parties stick with it. Then the time is fun and well spent. No disagreements etc. I love over nights and travel, because it is more personal. I do not feel you should just cancel. Discuss the matter with her and try to come to an agreement. WE are all human, sometimes the solution is just communication. Sometimes guys just run away from the situation and it could just be a misunderstanding. That way it is fair to everyone. My 2 cents.

What if the two of have your weekend and she simply stays a extra day.  Your airfare expense is the same, she handles her own expense after you leave.

I prefer overnight business trips with a gentleman.  I am able to enjoy private time while he is away on business.  When he gets back I am there for him.... to fulfill his wants and desires.

During a long week-end trip I would like some private time during the afternoon.  Just a couple of hours to catch my breath and rejuvenate.  I find checking e-mails can be a distraction for me.  So I tend to stay away from the computer during his time.

I would allow her some time in the afternoons.  The nights should be for both of you to enjoy.  She could get there a day early or stay an extra day on her own expense.  That should include airfare if there is a difference in the ticket price.

Good luck with your choice.

1)  The room key for your companion -- have always been given this w/o ever asking; men usually are on biz trips so I can come and go during the afternoon, shop, go to the spa, etc

2)  If you usually don't pay upfront, then her asking for this is more than a bit suspect, unless she has absolutely zero money or intends to flee asap -- weird and a very bad sign

3)  One night out for herself is comical!  She's there to be your companion!!  As another poster mentioned, if she's traveling far (IMO 10+ hour flight is far), though you're only going to FL... and if she wants to visit other places or stay longer in that destination, then she can schedule her flights that way.  But you should never agree to this demand of a night out alone while you're sitting around waiting for her, paying for her company, and she's out and about flirting at night.... -- absolutely ludicrous!!

Her last two requests bring up a host of red flags.....  State YOUR criteria for the trip -- for new clients I, of course, expect cash up-front but if you have usually given gifts afterwards and know her well, then, her request along with the night-away alone are way too creepy....

If you pay for three days you should get three days.

A very fair deal.

I love overnights and/ or trips away.  While I have never asked for a night away , I usually request a few hours of private time if it anything over 24 hours.  Most men have their own things they either have to do or want to do on their own, so I take this time for myself to have a little private time.  A whole night seems a little out of line considering you are bringing her there to be your companion.  I have always recieved my own key except once.


Tempting Playmate

Some of the above replies were very insightful.   My overnights are generally business trips which allow my companion in most cases to have 1/2 of the day or sometimes the whole day to themselves.  I always give them extra money for meals on top of the fee if I am not going to be there at mealtime.  I usually give them $500-1000 extra for shopping with the only requirement that they do spend it while they are there.  I expect the nights when I'm not required to have a business function to be OUR time together.  I don't think this is asking to much.  If I'm wrong, tell me.

It's best that you each have some time to yourselves so you don't get sick of eachother. A couple hours break here and there is a reasonable request, an entire night out of your trip is not.

You certainly have a valid right to feel taken back by her demand.  Maybe she's a newbie to the whole overnight thing and just didn't realize that an entire night isn't the way to go about asking for some alone time for herself. If you are still uncomfortable after talking it through with her then call off the trip cuz it will be a disaster waiting to happen. Trust me I've been there...I did an weekend with a provider where she turned into a douche bag out of no where and I actually wound up sleeping on the couch!

I recently tried another way. Advertising for non-pro, paying no fee, but all expenses. The nice surprise was finding someone who accepted and recommended a very reasonably priced place n Mexico. (I wanted to go on a cruise or to the Caribbean, so this was close).  I think all the negotiating and crap the original member is being asked to do, is BS. I agree he sounds in love with the young woman, but do girl friends or wives ask for the night off on a three or four day trip? Oleguy has the experience and answer. Shower your companion with love, money, and time on your terms. For myself, time for her to have aloneness should be daytime and certainly NEVER to screw some guy(s) or overnight. Most of the escorts here said pretty much the same thing.  Someday I am hoping to find just the right companion (for my taste) to spend a couple of weeks or more with, in a civilized way, but definity in vacation mode with neither of us taking advantage of the other. You know Win-Win. That would be ideal, but I don't even dare to ask what THIS brainstorm will cost.

In recent days, you can't just book an airplane ticket under "Ms. Jane Hot Escort" because they check ID.

How do you manage this?

I have seen several girls that tell me their real first names, but very few tell me their full names.  I can think of just two, though I have accidently seen a few others' names by accident.

Airline tickets are easy if you have done your homework.  Either the lady trusts you or not.  Verify the price of the ticket and either send her the money and exact flight information.  I have sent money to the woman direct and have also just went ahead and bought the tickets in the woman's name.  Believe me, the woman knows you are serious when she gets the money in the mail.  I honestly prefer to to just go ahead and buy the ticket myself for the woman in question.  If you are honest and upfront about the encounter generally the woman will trust you.

you are usually on a "real name" basis.  Otherwise, you are just not ready.