First, there's the discrepancy between perception and statistical fact. I was quite surprised to see the statistical size noted as 'average' - it was smaller than I thought 'average' would be. But, then, how are 'averages' for any statistic found, or measured? Then, what would most women's (or even men's) perception of what 'average' be compare to that statistic? For me, it was surprisingly smaller. What are others' perceptions of the statistic? That's a perception thing.
Then you go to a PREFERENCE thing. I know what my PERSONAL preference might be by sight (rock hard and at full attention - LOL!), but it's not like I measured it and would know what girth it is, nor how it 'measured' up to either statistics (italics), or my own perception (italics). Does that make sense?
Then, in looking at what is sold in adult stores for dongs, vibrators and dildos, the best sellers are usually the 7-8 inchers, though I have seen 6, and even 5 inch dildos sold but how their sales are in relation to the others might denote preference.
So, by the time I'm wondering, in answer to your question, what 'big' is, I'm really answering what TOO big is, and that would be anything where you have to perform with caution and ease, that might also have some discomfort. And since I enjoy bj's, anything too big would detract from enjoyment for either party - where I can't go down as far, or it's too gagging for me, and he's feeling less pleasure.
Keep in mind, that we don't care in our Profession about any of this - we just want happy, satisfied, repeating clients who adore us the same.
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