Many ladies will tell you they know SOMEONE who is on a blacklist that they KNOW does not belong there. Yes, sometimes guys act differently with different ladies.
But this link shows a lady that is willing to blacklist guys even though they've never met. I'm sure there are diverse opinions among the ladies as to whether that's appropriate, but my feeling is that, unless there's a distinct threat beforehand, blacklisting someone you've never met is unfair.
That said, I'm not a provider, so I'm sure there are instances where it might be appropriate (an un-met stalker, for instance).
i have heard stories, thru your grapevine
of men who have been blacklisted because they aren't tippers. is that true? do some providers
come off as more entitled than others? isn't the asked donation enough to warrant service? are providers who grant time to men based on tipping, run out on a rail?
curious minds-----yada yada yada
From discussions of tipping on here I'd say 90% don't tip; so if those all got black listed, there wouldn't be much of a client base left.
Many providers are miserable inside and out, and will go out of their way to screw a guy over for the most trivial of things. Many providers despise men, and some make no secret of it. Providers have been known to put guys on blacklists they've never met or had an appointment with. I haven't heard of a blacklisting for non tipping, but hobbyists have been blacklisted for almost everything else.
Many ladies will tell you they know SOMEONE who is on a blacklist that they KNOW does not belong there. Yes, sometimes guys act differently with different ladies.
But this link shows a lady that is willing to blacklist guys even though they've never met. I'm sure there are diverse opinions among the ladies as to whether that's appropriate, but my feeling is that, unless there's a distinct threat beforehand, blacklisting someone you've never met is unfair.
That said, I'm not a provider, so I'm sure there are instances where it might be appropriate (an un-met stalker, for instance).
But do any of you guys know if you are on a blacklist? I come from the angle that if some provider doesn't want to see me, I don't want to see her.
That would be the most ridiculous reason to blacklist someone.
No, a provider should not blacklist you for that.
Blacklisting should be for no call no show, if you hurt her, rob her, steal from her , ect...
be transcribed from a "true" blacklist to an extortion list.
Yes, it's happened.
While I agree that NCNS's are particularly frustrating (I've suffered a few), I believe that the blacklist should be used for thieves and those that pose threats to providers. It can (and likely will) be argued that an NCNS is "stealing", and I can understand that point of view to a degree.
But the punishment of being outed on a blacklist can be almost inhumanely severe, ending in TOTALLY broken lives. I'm all for making thugs pay, but let's let the punishment fit the crime.
Back-channeling about an NCNS will likely change a guy's behavior, but blacklisting him will likely change his life. Is that fair?
And are they searchable by google?
get placed on a very public blacklist for something as simple as "time-wasting". I assume that must mean carrying on a back & forth with a provider without setting up a date.
So, you CAN be blacklisted by providers you've never seen. They've actually got a category for "Time-wasters".
Meaning what key words to put in to look and pull up a blacklist? I'm nothing but nice to these girls.
Sometimes I wonder if this is worth it. Lots of bullshit out there.
email address, phone number, basically anything you've given to a provider, TER handle, etc.
If you don't find your name on those searches, you're probably all set.
You can still be blacklisted and never know it. The info isn't public so it is much less damaging but it could be costing you dates. Thin is you can't take steps to restore your name as you will never figure out what is going on as providers are very closed mouthed about what is on those sites (or at least they are supposed to be).
I truely don't believe a guy should be on there for "Timewasting"
I would expect a man to shop around for what he clearly likes the best and in order to do that he may need to send emails or contact mulitple providers even if he does not see one of the providers he contacted.
On some site the provider herself can't retract it. Blacklisting is bad shit and often abused. I seen on guy whole contact info (full name, phone, employment info, address, and email) listed on a permanent, public no retraction site for a last second cancellation. For the rest of forever Google any of his info and you will see he cancelled on a hooker. Can we say divorce court and difficulty in finding a upper end job? Now does that sound fair to you?
Brothers in arms! You DO know you can have a stage name just like the ladies, Yes???
That shit should be on the newbie board.
HalfHour
Let me clarify - I don't believe in putting a ncns on a public database blacklisting .
I will keep my own DNS list and put a no call no show on my personal list.
I believe in the public blacklisting for the dangerous clients only.
Is it fair when a guy books an appointment with me twice just to clearly waste my time?
When I could actually see someone that day who's intentions are to actually see me and not waste my time.
be transcribed from a "true" blacklist to an extortion list.
Yes, it's happened.
While I agree that NCNS's are particularly frustrating (I've suffered a few), I believe that the blacklist should be used for thieves and those that pose threats to providers. It can (and likely will) be argued that an NCNS is "stealing", and I can understand that point of view to a degree.
But the punishment of being outed on a blacklist can be almost inhumanely severe, ending in TOTALLY broken lives. I'm all for making thugs pay, but let's let the punishment fit the crime.
Back-channeling about an NCNS will likely change a guy's behavior, but blacklisting him will likely change his life. Is that fair?
-- Modified on 9/20/2011 10:02:32 AM
EVERY business deals with them. I deal with them in my own business ALL THE TIME. They are a cost of doing business for me, like with everyone else. They are friction to my otherwise productive life.
Do I like it? No.
But can I afford to ignore the potential income to my business? A more emphatic NO. When they prove to me that they are no longer a potential income, I stop taking their calls. I don't put them on a national list.
I know you clarified your position and I agree with yours.
I am sure there are crazy ladies that do this sort of thing. Sad but true.. Very much like the pedophiles, pimps, drug addicts and others that give this industry a bad name accross the board.
When you see such things.. RUN, DON'T WALK IN THE OTHER DIRECTION...
of men who have been blacklisted because they aren't tippers. is that true? do some providers
come off as more entitled than others? isn't the asked donation enough to warrant service? are providers who grant time to men based on tipping, run out on a rail?
curious minds-----yada yada yada
Jessica -- a guy cannot RUN from a girl that posts lies ANONYMOUSLY on a Black List site like NBL. Almost every post is anonymous on that site. That site should be nuked & the man despising dyke that runs that site should be jailed, or worse.
Good point.. why would a girl post that unless she OWNS it to begin with..
Guess I have been very lucky...
I would only use that situation for someone who has hurt me or tried to stalk me. There have been ladies beat, robbed and raped so protecting each other through word of mouth is important by using such a board.
Tipping is not expected so that just doesn't make sense. Been stood up many times and I just figure it happens to all of us.
Kisses Haley
Lists. Being a client, not a provider, I have only one DNS for NCNS on a booked appointment. Black Listing REALLY should be for DANGEROUS People. I will happily boycot anyone who truely does not understand this.
My view is that threatening for not tipping is the same as blackmail. Expecting/Demanding a tip is the same result as upselling...
The best tip... is a repeat booking.
H
As much as it sucks that a guy's life can be seriously compromised by some nutjob girl with an itchy blacklist finger, it also sucks that a girl's reputation (and by extension, her income earning ability) can be seriously injured by an undeservedly poor/fake review. Guys and girls can both become stalkers or rob each other. Both sides can fall victim to a lie being spread that they engage in unsafe activities - hampering the gent's ability to schedule and the lady's ability to earn income. We can always argue about who has more to lose in these scenarios, but that particular facet cannot be generally stated - it's as unique as each situation. All sorts of unfair things happen in life.
The only thing you can do is focus on protecting yourself. RESEARCH the person you're about to engage. Keep a personal DNS list of guys and girls that pop up on your radar as ones to avoid. Both sides of the equation benefit from knowing whom the ladies are that will blacklist for nothing (thank whomever it was that put the link up regarding that), are irrationally volatile and emotional, or who spout off about how terrible gents are (who wants to see someone like that?!) as well as the guys who are known for behaving poorly in similar fashions. Unfortunately, in this regard, it's fairly easy to identify the ladies who are nutty but much more difficult to identify the gents. Aliases further obscure the issue.... but again, life isn't fair.
Play safe. Play smart. 
I respect your opinions and your ability to articulate them greatly (especially in person).
You're right: walking willy-nilly into this land without having performed due diligence is asking for trouble. That said, there's a learning curve about hobbying that is both steep and lengthy (or can be, unless you've got a mentor).
One can pay dearly, later, for an early indiscretion or two. Unfortunately, consequences of that indiscretion aren't necessarily leveraged upon REAL dangers to providers. My case is one of those.
There are ladies with GREAT reviews who never post, and to try to cipher the nutjobs from those with all their marbles -- lacking the context of a board presence -- leaves a fair vacuum in the due diligence department. I suspect the same can be said of the providers' point of view toward hobbyists.
That either side would discount as unworthy those who don't have a board presence is unlikely, since such a small percentage of the community actively participate here.
One of the problems is that every person has a relative value to what a "loss" is, just like every person has a relative value to what a "reasonable cost" is. One ladies $300 loss might send her clamoring for the blacklists that could leverage her loss unto her transgressor in ways that dollars can't represent.
Yet another lady might have a problem of larger monetary value that she deems unworthy of such exposure.
The same applies to the guys' perspective.
With regard to SAFETY and THIEVERY, I am firmly in the camp of keeping ladies safe via almost any means available.
It's the dregs of the community that, for some reason, drag us to the lowest common denominator, and sometimes the collateral damage can be incredible.
It is often just as hard to weed out nut job ladies as they often blackmail there way to good reviews. Some very public blacklists are anonymous and easy for a lady to hide who she is on them. On the rest of your post I fully agree.
I didn't collect up front on a client (lesson learned) and at the end of the two-hour session he paid me $. He said he knew my rates, though that was all he brought. He didn't even pretend to be confused.
The second fellow was a good client for about a year, though was put on my personal shit list for doing cocaine in my studio, trying to hide it with repeated trips to the bathroom and claim of allergies. After some time I accepted his apology and we had no incidents for a couple of sessions. Then he booked a 4-hour dinner, asking me to rearrange my travel schedule to stay an extra day in a city I was visiting. Knowing that I was sitting there for an extra day waiting for him to arrive, he no showed me after the morning confirmation. His excuse? He got too busy to make it. I would have preferred that he lied.
The third fellow was a boundary pusher who required me to pull out my wrestling moves to keep from being forced into unsafe activities. He was so rough that he left bruises on my body.
In all this time I've never heard of anyone being blacklisted because they did not tip.
There was the small group of men who created a blog offering bounties for the personal information of several people in our local community (including myself), and who aggressively outted and harassed many individuals. I supported their blacklisting whole heartedly and made sure to spread the information far and wide.
Don't do that kind of shit, and I won't black list you.
but blacklisting is wrong. maccarthay's a prick! supposed to be a free country. what's this got to do with mongering?
When I confirm a date via e-mail, I write: "the gift for our time together is X, and is all inclusive. Tipping is not expected or accepted".
Now, I cannot control what a gentleman leaves in the envelope, or the gifts they bring, but they should never feel obligated. Also, I never check the envelope until after the gentleman leaves, and I can honestly say I have never been burned. I screen, and screen again, so I know where to find him, if he shorts me.
Hugs and Kisses
of men who have been blacklisted because they aren't tippers. is that true? do some providers
come off as more entitled than others? isn't the asked donation enough to warrant service? are providers who grant time to men based on tipping, run out on a rail?
curious minds-----yada yada yada