I require refs, so that I do NOT run into "Johnny Law", or Jack the Ripper or
some fowl person. When I am asked by another Provider to give a ref. I do NOT hesitate. However, since I began doing this 4 years ago, I have had ZERO women from Seattle and only a handful from other areas ask me for refs.
When I have requested refs from Providers, in other areas they have been more than accomodating. Here, not so much. I had a gentlemen give me around 12 Providers to contact and he was 70+++ years old, so I decided, he was indeed a longtimer, as a hobbyist and called one woman here in Seattle who is very well established and she gave me a great ref. Come to find out later it was a BOGUS ref. She probably didn't even remember the guy. Well, I'll NEVER forget!!! She had the audacity 3 years later to email me for a duo. She obviously forgot our conversations after her bad ref.
My agitation here is, that I find the higher the rate the more flexable a womens time to check refs are and a woman that sees multiple men in a day, just doesn't have the luxury of time to check, but they say they do, thinking or hoping, it will proctect them, some how?
Seattle boards are very "UN-interactive by Providers" except for ads compared to other cities. Let's get some dialog here. Come on ladies. Men you can join in too! (Love YOU)
Olivia
First, I want to thank the Ladies so much for their time in helping with references!
I hope you all know that I'm always happy to help Ladies & Gents with references.
Yes, I'm a reference kinda gal.
That means: not only do I do my homework on the Gent to verify his reference, but I also have to do my homework on the Ladies.
I go online to research her reputation. If she's been around for some time with good reviews and a great reputation, I'm happy to ask her for help.
Even if the Gent offers her contact info, I go to her reviews & website to contact her through those links.
Contact info & other links can be spoofed in emails.
Plus it isn't a good idea to click on any links in emails from strangers.
As for a Gent using just his handle as a reference, I won't do that.
Anybody could register on the boards and write reviews to gain a false reputation.
Sometimes the Ladies will remember a Gent by his handle alone, but I always ask for his general age/description because imposters have been known to use popular board handles as a way to gain trust.
I also will say that I never save any contact info of my Gents and I'm very bad with names.
Please give me some generic, G-rated clues to jog my memory.
These usually do the trick:
When/where we met, general age & description, who your reference for me was and what clues you gave for her to remember you.
The best way to help me instantly remember you:
Discuss something about yourself during our visit.
It doesn't have to be personal. It can even be a lie.
Just tell me you invented water and remind me that you'll use that as a memory jogger when using me as a reference.
It's easy and it's fun!
The main question I ask of Ladies when requesting a reference:
"Do you remember him as safe, clean, and kind."
~
I personally have had alot more problems on the east coast (Florida moreso and all quite a few of my traveling states) with providers not getting back to me. However I NEVER had a problem when I lived in Seattle and I always aked for at least 2 references in case the gal was ot of town or too busy to answer.
Honestly though Cindy who posted above is who taught me about checking references as so forth. And honestly speaking she is right.
After so many years in the business whether it be 2-10yrs and I send a gal an email that says 'hey can you verify so and so" and she says back " When, where an what" about anything then obviously I sent the wrong email to begin with. I should have sent
Hey sweetie,
I'm so and so here's my email address and website. I need verification on this gent who saw you back in 2007 (When) at an incall in (Where and description) he said you would remember him due to the fact you talked about (What something personal maybe)......and he is on (whatever Board and his handle is). Basically exactly what Cindy said.
I know it seems like alot Olivia but to be honest with you (and only from traveling all OVER the states) and starting off in Seattle originally ,you just have to adapt to what the gals requirements are. Alot of the gals I know in Seattle work another job, may go to school or have other bigger responsibilities so they require a memory refresher. For some who do this full time it can be a bit easier to remember the gents and sometimes not unless they are a regular. Trust me when I say Seattle as well as any other state I've been too all has it's quirks. But don't take it personally just get an understanding of the gals there and you will have an easier time. It's soo different in every city I've been too. I've had gals from other cities tell me that most providers that call them are not friendly at all and they thank me for being so nice. I find that shocking....When I lived in Seattle I got involved and got to know my collegues you may say. Its not a competion in Seattle and as a matter of fact we all worked together. I was taught that.
I now have a few gals in Florida who are like that now however it's taken almost 2 years HERE to get to that point. It only took me a couple months in Seattle.
After I moved east I have had to rely on the white list (which is awesome and I wish all the gals would use it for the TER guys) as well as D-C and P411.
Due to half the time I can never get a hold of anyone and/or they don't return my calls. So I rely on other verification from the gent and if they don't want to do that then I just don't see them. I now post on the boards what I accept and tell them what is the easiest screening process in order to see me.
that helps alot also to put it on your website. Anyway this has got to be the longest thread in my TER history as far as discussions go LOL ( I have a vacation to get ready for LOl) and I am an outdoor person so I try not to spend to much on the computer. However I'm getting ready to visit Seattle and Olivias post as well as Cindys sparked my interest.
Anyway Olivia there are other local boards in Seattle to place discussions and I'm sure you're on them. However the TER Board in Seattle is for the traveling gents who come visit.....from other states. That's what I noticed the years I was there (Don't want to scare away the gents who are coming to visit to just have fun and they don't really care about discussions...just a fun time) The locals in Seattle post mostly on the local boards and have lots of discussions. But if you look at the Florida board there is always discussions LOL
Have a great weekend.....And as all of you already know if you need a reference from me let me know!
Hugs JoJo
BTW if a guy gave me 12 references I would have a heart attack...LOL
-- Modified on 8/26/2010 6:45:40 AM
I did get a ref from Cindy once. I forgot about it becuase I ended up not meeting the gentlemen. Thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!
Honestly though Cindy who posted above is who taught me about checking references as so forth. And honestly speaking she is right.
After so many years in the business whether it be 2-10yrs and I send a gal an email that says 'hey can you verify so and so" and she says back " When, where an what" about anything then obviously I sent the wrong email to begin with. I should have sent
Hey sweetie,
I'm so and so here's my email address and website. I need verification on this gent who saw you back in 2007 (When) at an incall in (Where and description) he said you would remember him due to the fact you talked about (What something personal maybe)......and he is on (whatever Board and his handle is). Basically exactly what Cindy said.
I know it seems like alot Olivia but to be honest with you (and only from traveling all OVER the states) and starting off in Seattle originally ,you just have to adapt to what the gals requirements are. Alot of the gals I know in Seattle work another job, may go to school or have other bigger responsibilities so they require a memory refresher. For some who do this full time it can be a bit easier to remember the gents and sometimes not unless they are a regular. Trust me when I say Seattle as well as any other state I've been too all has it's quirks. But don't take it personally just get an understanding of the gals there and you will have an easier time. It's soo different in every city I've been too. I've had gals from other cities tell me that most providers that call them are not friendly at all and they thank me for being so nice. I find that shocking....When I lived in Seattle I got involved and got to know my collegues you may say. Its not a competion in Seattle and as a matter of fact we all worked together. I was taught that.
I now have a few gals in Florida who are like that now however it's taken almost 2 years HERE to get to that point. It only took me a couple months in Seattle.
After I moved east I have had to rely on the white list (which is awesome and I wish all the gals would use it for the TER guys) as well as D-C and P411.
Due to half the time I can never get a hold of anyone and/or they don't return my calls. So I rely on other verification from the gent and if they don't want to do that then I just don't see them. I now post on the boards what I accept and tell them what is the easiest screening process in order to see me.
that helps alot also to put it on your website. Anyway this has got to be the longest thread in my TER history as far as discussions go LOL ( I have a vacation to get ready for LOl) and I am an outdoor person so I try not to spend to much on the computer. However I'm getting ready to visit Seattle and Olivias post as well as Cindys sparked my interest.
Anyway Olivia there are other local boards in Seattle to place discussions and I'm sure you're on them. However the TER Board in Seattle is for the traveling gents who come visit.....from other states. That's what I noticed the years I was there (Don't want to scare away the gents who are coming to visit to just have fun and they don't really care about discussions...just a fun time) The locals in Seattle post mostly on the local boards and have lots of discussions. But if you look at the Florida board there is always discussions LOL
Have a great weekend.....And as all of you already know if you need a reference from me let me know!
Hugs JoJo
BTW if a guy gave me 12 references I would have a heart attack...LOL
-- Modified on 8/26/2010 6:45:40 AM
For me I am happy to be a ref for a gent, hopefully he gives the lady enough info to remind me of our time together. I also check refs and have noticed that most of the time I check with ladies that are similar to me and my style of providing.
I sometimes have problems and sometimes not...it really depends on the lady though. Mostly it is no problem. Just recently I joined p411 and datecheck also and have found this to be quite helpful! Thanks for the post! Love, Roxie
Yes I have found that some ladies could care less about providing a reference. I find it very important to find out who is coming into my personal space. I do require more than one reference at all times to insure my safety. Most girls only post ads and then move on. We all need to check out the boards regularly and get to know provider names so we can work together as a community. I make sure to provide a verifiable reference anytime a lady asks. If the information I am given is not enough, I simply let the lady know I need more information to insure I have truely seen this person.
Just my thoughts, be safe everyone!
xoxo Brittany
I have always required references as well, and am happy to provide them!
I have found however, that in Spokane, most of the Ladies who say they require them do not, and you cannot trust a reference check to be reliable as they do not remember and just reply with a "yeah, he's fine." or, they take weeks to get back to you? Honestly...I had a lady to that! Thankfully I ask for more than one and I did not have to rely on just her information! Seems par for course that they give back false information, or nothing worth while at all. I will say I have had the BEST response when I travel from the wonderful ladies on the coast in the Seattle area! Thank you to all whom have been stellar in their response!
Dallas Rose