Seattle

Rev: Teri and Kathi, discussion of BTTV, and Starfuckers 1 of 2 (long, rant, humor)
iceman 2 Reviews 4524 reads
posted
1 / 8

Part 1 of  2
Dear Readers,

First, the Q&D on this doubles session:

Teri: 4/8/6
Kathi: 7/6/4
As Team: 5/7/5

I would not return and would recommend only with many caveats. Please see the review section for details. Which brings me to a long rant about BTTV and Starfuckers:

Sadly, I fell victim (yet again) to the classic sandbag job. IMHO, the few reviews available on this duo were as pumped up as the boobs involved. I heard terms bandied about like "ATF", and "Made my month". SAY WHAT!?!?!?!

Jesus H Christ, what planet are these reviewers from? Coming soon to theaters near you: "Planet of the Breast Men". These guys have this extraordinary ability to block out everything except the tits. Honestly, sometimes I really wish I had this ability. I guess my mother switched to formula too early with me. LOL. Here's a new term for the boards, "Bodacious Ta Ta Vision" or BTTV. To a hobbiest with BTTV, if the providers breasts are D cups or larger (for some men they needn't even be this large), everything else about the session, including looks, service, atmosphere, age, phone calls, tattoos, odor, smoking... etc. just seems to dissapear into a haze of pleasant breast-milk white fog. Objectivity and critical thinking are severely compromised, and the BTTV victim may be prone to hitting the enter button after having spewed forth the most inflated, over-hyped, fact-free review since their last BTTV episode.

Specific terms to watch for in identifying someone who might be reviewing while under the influence of BTTV. "Suckled","jugs","eraser-like nipples","great russian","finished russian","russian to completion","best russian ever","first pop russian","second pop russian","third pop handjob, finished russian","mama","hot mama","oh mama","admired her cleavage","buried face in cleavage","moved to russian". These are just a few--in general, watch for any over-fascination with sizeable breasts. If you think that the reviewer might be affected by BTTV, tread carefully, and keep your expectations for the session far lower than you otherwise might CONTINUED


-- Modified on 6/4/2001 12:58:45 PM

Teri 4427 reads
posted
2 / 8

First let me say to my record I have never seen this person.  I notice the review date and checked my records 2 weeks back and all my e-mails and nothing from an "Ice Man".  I wish you e-mail tell me the date you seen Kathy and I, and I will accept or deny what you are saying.  To my knowledge I have never seen you and if I was that horrible I think you would have been man enough to tell me.  Waiting for your response.

iceman 2 Reviews 5345 reads
posted
3 / 8

Dear Teri,

Did you read the actual detailed review in the review section?  That is where I reviewed the session itself.  I assume you don't have access to this.  I won't go into depth here, but frankly, I was disappointed mainly because of Kathy's performance, not yours.  But as far as looks go, I did feel that your site was very misleading.  I would suggest that you update your pics.

The long rant about BTTV and starfuckers wasn't directed at you, but was poking fun at other reviewers, whose opinions differed significantly from mine in this case.  The examples in my post were hypothetical, and were not meant to represent you, or indicate how our session went.  Again, those details are in the review section.  I don't recall writing anywhere that you were "horrible", nor did I in the review.  I felt the session was OK and I had a pleasant time, it just did not live up to my expectations based on the reviews I had read, and based on other doubles sessions I have had.  

As far as never having met me, I'll stick with that story if you will!  I guess I forgot to add the disclaimer: "All reviews and posts are fictional and for entertainment purposes only.  Any similarity to real people, places or events is merely coincidental!" *winks*  My only problem is, if it was all just a dream, why does the marsupial from down under still have my $$$! LOL.

Have fun, stay safe, and leave the lights ON!! (But not the TV, or the cell phone)
Iceman

-- Modified on 6/3/2001 9:31:50 PM

i_c_e_m_a_n 2 Reviews 4940 reads
posted
4 / 8

Part 2 of 2

Not only did BTTV affect judgement here, but another factor came into play, these reviewers were also "Starfuckers". For those who don't know what a starfucker is, visit LA or NYC sometime, you'll find plenty. A starfucker is someone who is simply awestruck to the point of idiocy by meeting someone who they perceive as a celebrity. They suck up, grovel, fawn over, ask for autographs, get giggly, and in general make an ass of themselves over celebrities they meet. (The extreme case that we are familiar with is groupies, whose literal goal is to f#ck stars. But you needn't go this far to be classified as a starfucker.) This could be at a party, a concert, on the street, in the workplace, and yes, even in a session!

Some hardcore starfuckers are discerning enough to understand who truly holds celebrity status, but most starfuckers don't have a clue: they will ask you for your autograph if you tell them you are John Denver, and break into "Rocky Mountain High". The starfucker hobbiest is often this type, and is dazzled by magazine and/or XXX movie credentials of a provider, no matter how distant and minor they may have been. Even if the provider is now fat, homely, and 56, the fact that she once appeared in a men's magazine, or was a fluffer for John Holmes, will cause the starfucker to see her in a new light. It's as if she is transformed to 1983 when the mag spread or stag film first came out.

Not unexpectedly, providers who have been involved with adult movies, magazines, or even straight entertainment industries, even tangentially, are keenly aware of starfuckers, and will work this to their advantage. They might show you clippings, drop names, reference films they have done, or load up their website with old photos and press materials, hoping that you'll be a starfucker, and forget about the reality of the session. Now in many cases, the provider may have the L/A/S to back up the hype, I do not suggest that there is anything wrong with a provider telling you about her credentials. It's fun to see the magazines and hear about what people's life experiences have been. I'm just warning about the starfuckers who go ga ga over this stuff and who may later review these women in their altered state.

Be aware that whether she was good or bad in the session from an L/A/S perspective, a starfuckers' review of the provider will be skewed high. Specific starfucker phrases to watch for in reviews: "She was in _____ magazine", "She worked with ______", "She knows ________", "There I was, doing the woman I was watching onscreen", "She once banged _____ in the movie ________ and he said she rocked his world", "She showed me her pics from ________ and I jizzed my BVD's on the spot." Etc. Again, if the provider has been in movies/mags/etc. and you see these telltale signs in the review, the reviewer might be a starfucker, so tread carefully, and keep your expectations for the session far lower than you otherwise might. Remember, the fact that she was in movies/mags/etc. has absolutely no correlation to current reality. It may mean she is hot, but it just as easily may not.

As always, YMMV.

Have fun, stay safe, and leave the lights ON!!
Iceman

i_c_e_m_a_n 2 Reviews 5513 reads
posted
5 / 8

Dear Readers,

I just about coughed up a lung when I read this whopper!  33!  Yeah, and I'm Clint Eastwood.  Really, I don't mind a little stretching, to shave a few years off a listed age is a small impropriety.  I would be ok with say, 39 or 40, but 33?  We're talking about a 10-15 year shave here.  As Bill Walton would say, "That's Horrible".  Also, the pic on eros is not current, again, probably 10-15 years old.  Caveat Emptor.

Have fun, stay safe, and leave the lights ON!!
Iceman

i_c_e_m_a_n 2 Reviews 3749 reads
posted
6 / 8

Dear Readers,

Funny how the age listing of 33 quickly dissapeared from eros, behold the power of information. LOL. However, the "new" pics are still way outdated (maybe 5-7 years instead of 10-15) not to mention being fuzzy and hard to discern.  IMHO they are still  highly flattering, and a poor indication of what Teri currently looks like.  

Also, beware of inflated "advertisement" reviews on Teri, I've seen several more recently on TBD, one looked suspiciously like a self-post.  My advice, keep expectations for looks low, or be ready to walk.

Have fun, stay safe, and leave the lights ON!!
Iceman

FENRIR 5088 reads
posted
7 / 8

I don't understand what your vendetta is.  Obvisouly, you have issues and I don't know why.  I have been seeing Teri for over a year and a half and all I have to say is I leave smiling all the time.  I say find out for yourself.  Iceman has his opinion, but it is not the only one.  I notice he post here often, and seems severely jaded.  I am not here to defend Teri, she doesn't need it from me.  Just find out for yourself, you won't be disappointed.  Of course, by saying this I am blinded from reality.  I don't hang on the Iceman's every word.  I know for fact that those new pics are recent, not 5-7 years old like the expert Iceman has so boldly stated.  All that I know since these Ice reviews Teri has been very busy!!!! Hmmmmmmmmm.........So if you like a provider and the Iceman disagrees with you, you are totally of base and have no idea of what you are talkling about!!!  Ice Ice Baby.....................you have alot of time on your hands.......................

ronin2001 105 Reviews 4344 reads
posted
8 / 8

I met Teri back in April. I found her through the Seattle Weekly, which, along with it's sister periodical, The Stranger, can be a real hit-or miss enterprise so one should tread carefully.

But her ad had been there for quite a while so I gave her a call. After a nice chat she gave me her web address. She informed me then that her pictures were dated and that if I dropped on by and didn't like what I saw I could just leave with no hard feelings.

When I met her it was clear that her face was noticably older and that the wild, poofy blonde hair had calmed down somewhat but her body looked spectacular so I gave it a shot. To summarize I had a terrific time, have seen her twice and have sent many a happy pooner her way with similar results.

I have never understood the rationale behind putting dated pictures on a web-site. It has gotten many ladies in hot water and does nothing for their credibility and Teri has taken something of a hit for this which is a shame.

But as far the new photos they are exactly that: new. They were taken since we first met so they are, at the oldest, three months old, and probably not even that. They are, in fact, very representative of what she looks like. Admittedly, the red convertible isn't hers. Other then that they are recent and accurate. Any claims to the contrary remind me of the old adage "You're entitled to your own opinions, but not to your own facts".

As far as her boobs are concerned it doesn't really make any difference how big she says they are as long as the photos are accurate and they are. They look more like a very large D or smaller DD (as opposed to a DDD) but they are spectacular as is the rest of her. She has a tight, toned, disciplined shape and knows how to use it.

I found Teri to be a terrific find and, odd publicity practices notwithstanding, will continue to recommend her without reservation.

Ronin

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