Dear Readers,

I have to agree with the Submissive Slut on this one.  Anytime I read a "retirement announcement" I can rest assured the provider isn't retiring.  The fact is, these announcements are false advertising, designed to generate short-term interest and business, and usually do not reflect the true intentions of the provider.  

Why would a provider ever need to announce (often in dramatic fashion) to the community that she has retired?  To avoid confusion? To reduce calls and emails?  Please.  It is simpler, more professional, and completely effective to put an auto-reply message on your email, a few words on your website, and a voice message on your phone stating your new status.  Less professional, but equally effective (and certainly more popular), as Robin points out, is to just dissapear.  

But often providers pull this "semi-retirement" thing, or hint at future retirement, or give a deadline for accepting new clients. Some even hint that they might be back at some indefinite point in the future. It is obvious that they are trying to get both the bounce of the retirement announcement, but also leave the door open if they suddenly decide to make a comeback.    

I'm not knocking anyone's decision to accept or reject new clients, drop out of sight for a while, take a break, try a different profession, service their regulars more effectively, or just get out, these are all completely understandable.  But it becomes laughable, and providers lose credibility when we see a rash of retirements and comebacks, yet the providers seem to be continuing with business as usual.

The retirement "deadline" is perhaps the most dubious type.  I can respect a provider who makes the announcement that she is retiring, or not accepting new clients, effective immediately.  Great, no problems, no confusion, no conflicts.  It's the, "Hey everyone, I'll be retiring on such-and-such date, so act fast!" that lacks integrity.

Common sense: if her so-called retirement is honestly because she is swamped and can't possibly take on new clients and treat them right, why would it suddenly be possible for her to find room in her schedule for a buttload of new clients between now and her looming retirement date?  Or if her retirement is for a new business opportunity, marriage or other change, why would she want to load up with new clients?  This doesn't ring true.

My advice to any of you men who are concerned about getting "in" before a big "retirement".  Don't sweat it.  Unless you actually get a "no" via email, hear a voicemail message, or read it on her website, she ain't going anywhere.  

Have fun, stay safe, and leave the lights ON!!
Iceman