I would like to try to make some of the gentlemen out there in Hobbyland feel better about asking for referrals.

I am sure that there are alot if not MOST of the Providers such as I that genuinly do NOT feel bad at all for providing referrals for the hobbyist.  Perhaps some do feel bad but, I don't believe there are that many.

There have been times I have asked for referrals only to get some of the following responses.  "Well, I have only seen ---- one time and I feel bad about asking for a referral.  Or, ---- is my ATF and I don't want to hurt her feelings for asking her.  Or, once I see ---- 2 or 3 times then it will be ok to ask ---- for a referral.

Gentleman, we do Thank you for your genuine concern for our feelings but, speaking only for myself providing referrals does not make me feel bad.

I am sure there is other providers out there that have got some of the same responses as I have.  But, I would like to reasure the gentlemen out there that I will ALWAYS provide a referral and I will NOT and do NOT feel bad at all for doing this.

After all Variety IS the spice of life.

While referrals CAN assist you in feeling "safe", the fact is that there are gentlemen who are gentlemen for only so long.

Sometimes when you *THINK* you know someone you've done business with for awhile, they sometimes play games, lie and then there is the infamous dine & dashers!  It is best to take care of business UP FRONT w/everyone, but some clients like to make a "personal" issue of having to pay upfront.  

So bottom line is that there are no guarantees and even if someone does give a referral, do not be lulled into a false sense of security !

Do business safely and count only on yourself to be the ultimate decision maker.  Then you only have yourself's butt to kick !!!

Good luck.

XXOOMAYA

Thanks Maya:

For your words of wisdom and caution, I can appreciate that very much.  What you say Maya is for sure a truth.  I simply was wanting the gentlemen to not feel bad about asking fellow providers for referrals if they have seen the Provider one time or many.

If, they have been good to me... as they have been then, I will not hessitate in providing for them a referral.  I only want for the hobbyist to feel comfortable asking me and perhaps other providers for a referral.  I understand that variety is a huge factor for hobbyist's.  If I have seen them once or, many times I want them to know that I personally will not have hurt feelings for providing a referral for the gentleman.

Ofcourse, should I send a referral out for a gentlemen that I have seen and the appointment go terribly wrong for the other provider then, I would feel TERRIBLE for her!  I can only offer MY experience in the end.

I hope that never happens.

Sincerely,
Joleen

-- Modified on 9/9/2003 4:13:58 PM

it's protecting our interests, the way you protect yours.  I have not had the pleasure of visiting EP, but if I did I would have no problem at all taking care of business up front.  Your establishment has earned that trust.  This may not be the case with other businesses/providers.

On occasion we encounter the "protester" who doesn't like to do business up front, but in general the clients are true gentlemen. I agree that having an impeccable reputation helps (not ONE report of theft has EVER been leveled at this agency nor has it ever occurred)!

That occasional "one" baaaaaad client really leaves a sour taste in my mouth which PROHIBITS me from putting myself "out there" for A.N.Y. client.  Some gents tend to take it personal as do the independents, but it really is NOT personal.  

I gather information, check it out, "interview" the gent, etc. and spend quite alot of time to ensure that he is "OK" but that "interest" is strictly for "my own".  I assume all the risk.  (e.g. if the lady is cashed & dashed ~ I PAY HER MYSELF).

Nothing is fool proof and if you girls feel more secure exchanging info, that is wonderful.  Again, I say ..... do not be lulled into a false sense of security and let your guard down just because someone says "oh yeah, I met him once".  Honestly, in this industry, you run across some real snakes!

Here's an archived tidbit:  I had a RAPIST, I alerted the "community who swore to protect us ladies", only to have these people TURN ON ME when all I was trying to do was PROTECT (yes, I even reported him to the appropriate legal channel, for which I was chastised for) other ladies.  This "community" even forwarded LEGAL info to the perpetrator!  The perpetrator then gathered ALL OF MY PERSONAL INFORMATION (financial, address, etc) and forwarded it to EVERY PERSON REGISTERED in this particular community and who do you think is the banned one ????

Eventually, he did do horrendous things to other ladies in this industry and was eventually "banned".  My reputation has never been "redeemed" despite numerous attempts to kiss some serious booty there .....

But ..... the joyous ending to this story is that he is now in PRISON for solicitation of murder (his wife & kids) and guess who is gloating and singing "I told you so" ?????????? from the treetops !!!!!

Please just depend on yourselves in this industry.  Many emotions running around "unchecked".  Trust in only yourself.  Be true to yourself.  Go w/your gut instinct.  And lastly .... NOT ALL MONEY IS GOOD MONEY.

xxooMotherMaya stepping off the box now

Is this the person?

i hope that all who "befriended" him and "kicked" my arse feel good about their actions.

i'm not one to hold grudges, but this was the final injustice for that "community" to do !!!!

the rapist also stalked another one of my ladies in KC (he was a frequent gambler in KC) for which SHE reported him to the proper authorities when the incident occurred.

my family and i lived in fear because of the rapist's EXPOSING of my information.

thank goodness .... i was able to witness Ms. Karma kick some serious boooooooootie !!!!!!!!!  

-- Modified on 9/11/2003 10:12:26 PM

Maya,
I understand you have had a few bad experiences in this business.....but even reputable companies take a loss ever once in a while. It has been my experience (three years and still having fun!!) That careful screening, referrals being a part of that I have never been in a bad situation.  Am I lucky? Maybe? But I don't think that that is it. I think that it is due to the way that I screen w/a heavy emphasis on referrals. If a person has two or more for that matter people that can vague for his behavior then the chance of that meeting a questionable is decreased.The positive referals accompanied with other info I have collected and my God given instinct I will make the choice to see someone or not.
We are all adults and have to take all information and make an educated decision. Of course, the chances for a psycho to masquerade as a good client in order to hurt or rip off another provider is possiable~look at Ted Bundy or The Green River Killer to many people they were nice men. It can happen, but it is rare. I don't hold you or anyone accountable for anyone's actions but your own~ that is not the purpose of a referral. The referral should act as a way to establish that the person has had a meeting with a known provider and that he was a gentleman~or not.
If I had NOT done a reference check I would have met with one of our  notorious ripoff/abusive hobbists~ all of his work info and personal info came up clean as a whistle!! Thanks to the other providers I didn't see him....He then started to harass me for NOT seeing me~wow!!!
I have never been ripped off,yet NEVER take care of business upfront....I would rather take a loss then be set-up. I have only met with getleman and have never had that happen... I have enough on the person when I meet that I don't think they would dare...I know who they are after all, right?
Just another point of view and way of doing things,
Katlyn

P.S.
I have been raped before....it was by the high school jock~found out later he had done it to two previous girlfriends.......I now even do reference checks on potential "dates"