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This is an excerpt from sexuality.org about BDSM and EPE: (check out the sections Stimulating g-spot and prostrate play, Experimenting with Male Multiple Orgasms, Empathy).

Sensation play, which runs the gamut from brushing feathers over your partner's body to spanking to flogging to whatever, is almost as popular a fantasy as is bondage. Many cultures incorporate elements of what we would call SM into traditional spiritual ceremonies, as extreme sensation (built up to over a period of time) is known to provoke altered states of consciousness and mystical visions.

If what you are interested in is light spanking, etc. as an adjunct to sex, you probably won't have to worry about the psychological subtleties that become important with more intense play. However, if you two are interested in going deeper, here are some hints for the person on the receiving end of things:

Keep breathing regularly and deeply, and stay relaxed. If you want to get even more sophisticated about this, you can try a visualization suggested by Author Joseph Bean: "breathe out the pain, and breathe in a relaxed receptivity to the scene in progress."

Make noise if you need to, especially when exhaling.

Key into some characteristic of the person playing with you that makes you want to go farther or longer - wanting to please that person if they are enjoying what they are doing to you is as good a method as any. Alternatively, go mentally more deeply into a particular fantasy you have which involves something like what is happening to you (which will probably be different for each person). Or...

Key into your trust of the person playing with you. "Pain" only has to be "bad" when it signals danger. If you trust that your partner is not going to physically damage you, your mind is in theory free to interpret "pain" as something else entirely (this is where SM can become mind-expanding). Or...

For flagellation scenes especially, visualize absorbing the energy of each stroke and transforming it into sex, strength, and/or power (Joseph Bean suggests another option: visualizing the pain not as pain but rather as heat, light, or color).


-- Modified on 1/28/2002 7:40:27 PM

-- Modified on 1/29/2002 3:00:03 PM