I need some advice on how to handle this situation.
I have been seeing a young lady here for the last four or so months every week. I really like her and she seems to like me. But I have been finding out some things about her that are very disturbing.
She only does outcall and has a driver. She told me at first that she doesn't give her driver any money or have sex with him. However, she finally told me she actually lives with him, he is her boyfriend and he doesn't work and she totally supports him by him turning her out.
She actually had to sneak out on him to see me on the sly sometimes.
Recently she has been telling me she wants to leave him because he drinks too much but she can't get an apartment because she can't pass a credit check. She then tells me her boyfriend driver is an ex-con and is on parole. So it turns out she has been lying about a lot the whole time.
She used to get good reviews but they have been sinking lately. I really care for her and would like to help her succeed, but these revelations really put a different light on things.
I really think it is not a good idea to see her anymore. But should I tell her and be frank about it or should I just stop calling her?
Any other advice on how to get over this thing would be nice too.
PS Why do so many women let guys take advantage of them like this?
This is a familiar story I heard several times in the many years I have been active in this hobby. All the times I tried to help cost me considerable monetarily and emotionally without me being successful in effecting a positive outcome. I suggest, just stop seeing her (especially if she has declining performance) and only explain why if she ask. To get over the emotionally part, move on and see the many ladies who don’t carry so much baggage. Good luck.
Consider the possibility that you are being set up to "help" - financially, and that You will be the one being taken advantage of... Young women tend to let themselves be taken advantage for many reasons; that is really a larger discussion than time or space permits, though MONEY (= security) and "LOVE" (= security) are chief among them. As evidenced by recent local news, gender does not matter in terms of taking advantage of young women...
While she may not be able to pass a credit check for an apartment, I am betting there are MANY Roommate situations available. If you are COMPELLED to help - suggest she check local papers for Roommates, including SW & The Stranger & UW student paper.
Continue to see her ONLY if you are willing to accept more drama and opportunities for you to ride in on your white steed; she has already set you up to be The Rescuer. Also, keep in mind that the drama may include possible wrath from an ex-con who may know A LOT about you.
You are wondering about being frank - keep in mind that she tells you many different stories; unfortunately, you cannot put any faith in however she may respond to your frankness.
Getting over it? Meet someone new... but the "what-ifs" and the wondering about how she is doing will linger - expect it.
The fact her boyfriend/driver is living with her and is an ex-con is very bad. It can put you in all kinds of dangers since she only does outcall and since you are seeing her every week, it probably isn't at a hotel. And NOW he knows where you live and what you own.
Whatever you do, don't contact her. that will only extend the drama and danger. Get as much time behind this as possible and hope she forgets you as you should forget her.
Women let pimps take advantage of them mainly because they have a wrong association in their childhod that connects money with security or love with security. Your provider has wrongly connected the money she provides to her pimp/boyfriend as security and maybe even love.
You can't save her from all this, she can only do it herself, and only when she is ready to do so.
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