I was reviewing a thread from a few weeks ago and saw a post I hadn't noticed before where a hobbyist stated that a providers post might indicate that him and her weren't a good fit.


I guess what are things that keep you from visiting someone?

Their posts? (Rude replies to gents, simply the words, over activity, lack of activity, spelling, grammar, etc)
Their photos? (Don't show face, belly, looks photoshopped, too graphic, too generic, etc)
Their reviews? (Kind of a given if all are below 5's or something)
Back channels? (Word of mouth on ladies)


Let us know so we can all learn and grow!

My situation is unique.  I look for posts within my limited budget.  I'm not a cheap skate, just very
small income.  So I have to pass on the 300 roses and above.  If within my budget, I look to the reviews to see if she performs well (7 and up), and of course I look at her pics to see if she is hot.
I also have minimum requirements, i.e., BBBJ, FIV, DFK, and if possible, rimming.
  I treat all providers well and look for those who seem to enjoy their work and are not indifferent
to the guys.

Whenever I read posts by a provider and I sense she is hostile toward other hobbyists or providers she is put on my radar of do not see - does this ring a bell MilanTequila?

Goldie,

Let me know if you would prefer to take this offline via PM, but it sounded like you wanted to keep public.  Rough rule of thumb would be:

> ratings - both looks and performance.  TER makes it easy to use this as initial screen to reduce from many to only a few.

>> next is pictures - am I attracted and/or turned-on as well as personal website commentary.  Some seems generic, but there have definitely been a few that seem to strike a chord.

>>> next is reading reviews, especially those that are much different from average score - for me it is not as much about the play-by-play, but more the color.  As I have gained more experience, I have become much better at understanding the meaning behind the word choice.

>>>> Final things include:

- donation - does it seem like a fair price for what I think I will get.

- communication - the easier it is to communicate the easier it is to move forward with appt's (text, email, etc).  This also is how quickly providers respond back.  There are a few providers that have been on the short-list that actually have fallen off b/c it is surprisingly difficult to coordinate with them.  I understand we all have lives, but if I am buying what you are selling, you should at least come back with a "I'm sorry for not get back sooner, I was sick...or something."

Of course, as you should know Goldie -- you have made it through all these hoops!

You know we're visual creatures. If you don't want to show your face, that's fine (we can PM reviewers for that info). But if all you're going to do is rotate between a couple of photos everytime you post. Then you're not inspiring a response.

Review #s mean very little, if your photo makes us click on your site or reviews. We'll look at the history of the reviewers and ask some questions.

Lastly, how you interact on the board does have an effect for people that do more than look at ads. If you're a total bitch on the board. Why would we waste our time to figure out if you're that way in person?

Spelling, grammer, etc... Might matter if we were on the fence about you being a "crack ho" or setting up an extended appointment to study for LCAT or MCAT. Other than that, if you can roll a condom on and know there's only 50 states and a little about current events, that's all the education we need. The rest is chemistry.

Thanks for asking the question.

1.  Negative vibes on the discussion boards.
2.  Outcall only
3. The feeling that someone just is not into a sensual experience.
Take care Goldie.

From a guy old enough to have had sex in the second of the two decades of the
Golden Age of Sex:

I will NOT see a lady if:

1) She does not provide at least BBBJ (and also usually not if she does not provide CIM):

2) She has implants;

3) She has more than one small tattoo; and

4) She has body hardware other than on her ears.

My slogan:

"Nothing man-made on a woman."

(For you youngsters who cannot figure out when that was:
after the Pill was introduced and before herpes & aids arrived.)

Hold on,

What if the lady first language is not English, but she speaks thre languages (including English), has 2 degrees, an MA, and is knowledgiable about serious thopics as well as been a worldly lady, having a life, a profession, and a brain? Do you still consider spelling a deal breaker? lol

Serena x

Things that make me NOT want to see a provider:

1.  Doesn't look Hot
2.  Doesn't provide DFK and BBBJ
3.  I read EVERY review of a girl I might see to see if she is inconsisent - I don't hobby often, and
    can't affrod a bad experience if I can help it
4.  Don't care about spelling, I'm not the best either - but I do want to find someone who is clever and
    fun since I prefer longer visits with time for dinner and/or other outside activites

OH YEAH  -  These days I prefer not to see someone NOT named Goldie

As long as she is beautiful and can communicate that lei vuole fare l'amore appassionato di me. She can misspell any word she wants to.

She might be teaching me something but it sure won't be grammer or spelling.

1. Poor reviews and/or photos
2. If she does not provide BBBJ, CIM, DFK, GFE
3. Not replying to my PMs or emails
4. Backchannel info of a negative nature from other hobbyists
5. Only does outcalls or nights

but here are deal breakers

1. any mention of smokers odor
2. outcall only
3. finding out she is packing an extra 20+ pounds
4. bad attitude. provider either acts like she is doing you a favor just her seeing you or you get the feeling she really doesn't enjoy providing.
5. too young/inexperienced
6. too experienced lol
7. outside my budget

Here's my list of Don'ts:
1. Provider is a time traveler or caught in a time warp: i.e. her pics haven't changed for a looong time.
2. Provider is very shy about some parts of her anatomy in pics: i.e. hot body without face shot = doable; tell-tale parts covered up, e.g. stomach, which might indicate lack of fitness or excessive stretch marks = not doable
3. Provider types first and thinks later: bitchy comments on line about other providers; excessive self promotion at every available opportunity regardless of the topic under discussion
4. Careful reading of reviews indicates the presence of deal breakers (at least for me): "she's not really into dfk"; "she was having a bad day"; "she had lots of rules"; "we didn't really click" despite the fact that the provider markets herself as a "true GFE".  When such statements crop up regularly I stay away.
5. Too-good-to-be-true string of reviews: no one can be a 10 consistently.  There's been some censorship going on.  I prefer a real person, not a programmed sex cyborg
6. Ambiguous rates: "call me for rates"; rates vary wildly from site to site: and we're not supposed to ask "how much"  This is a catch 22 situation for the unsuspecting or gullible hobbyist.
7. Back channel deal breakers: PMs from other respected hobbyists suggesting I should stay away.
8. Consistently bad reviews.
9. Only one or two reviews, but she's been around for a while.
10. False reviews: I always check who else the hobbyist has seen.  If their list of reviews is longish and consistent, then I tend to think the review is genuine.  If the hobbyist has spent $800 on this one provider, raves about her as "once in a lifetime" but this is the only review the hobbyist has ever written, then I have my suspicions.
All this takes time, and requires thinking with the big head, not the little one, but in the end it can help to avoid costly mistakes.
Just my two cents.

Umm... There have been  few lately. The number one thing is attitude! as well as personality. of course everyone is looking for some common ground to get a little connection. It can be as simple as one thing said in an email or post on the board.  And for sure a no see is a prepay! for every no show they claim I have a no show as well. Kind of gets back to the attitude thing. The answer here is know your customer!

i rank my decisions into 2 categories. First never met never seen. Like all of us we are searching for some connection.  Often a single thing she said in a ad or email can make the difference. On the positive side often it is a key word like something you are interested in, like a kink thing that is not usually discussed. And as always the P in P4P will also have an impact. And on the negative her attitude. Lack of reviews could clip off a few yea's as well.

second is those I have seen! There are 3 reason i would not see a past acquaintance.
1. Chemistry... sometimes sparks just do not happen
2. Attitude. She says something that just really turns you off. She can be the most beautiful and highly rated lady but sometimes whats inside can be ugly
3. And perhaps the most difficult one for both to accept. is the donation. I have met some truly wonderful ladies that i really enjoyed time with but over the years as they became more successful and their donations went up they became out of reach. I always feel strange leaving something less than posted even if she said you are "grandfathered". because usually I will pay the higher (current) rate until it goes out of reach.

meaning rather than ratings, pictures, and donation, the sense I get from reading her ad, webpage, and other writings...

Does she advertise everday on multiple sites=high volume, take a number.
Alot of chatter on the boards=opinionated and ego entric.
Trying to be sophisticated, world traveler, and high end=bores me, next.

I can and have been totally wrong in my assumptions regarding the above.  I guess it is my loss but not a big deal to me, I'm satisfied...

Your second list rings a bell with me, particularly #3. There have been a couple that I first saw when they were brand new, who have gone on to much success with a corresponding increase in donation size. On the one hand, I feel extremely fortunate in having been able to see them back when, but I sure miss them when they get out of reach financially. Also agree that the 'grandfather' thing can sometimes make me feel uncomfortable, although I do manage to work through it.

Negative, contentious exchanges on the boards or negative opinions of other providers thru email or pm or on the board shut me down instantly. Anything that points to a provider having a rage issue or is someone that is into confliction says “next” to me.

Passive/aggressive behavior. Berate me in a thread and end it with “you are a kind, caring and gentle person” (paraphrasing here) or with the trite XOXOX’s. Fuck me, does that work for any guy?

In general, I think you post to expose your personality.  In your case, Goldie, your personality is this huge “perma” smile so run with that.

Poor spelling does not bother me. Effective communication is a must.  As long as you get the message across, I am okay with spelling miscues.

Just be positive because providers and hobbyists alike know that some of these associations can really be healthy.  As much as it is about fucking, it is about something else, IMO.

I think photos of body shots help and are important. My advice is not to have face shots shown. You never know where life is going to take you; no one is in control. What Goldie has shown me is that it can be a very pleasant surprise to not see someone’s face in advance.

Consistent poor reviews will drive me away. One or a few bad reviews out of dozens does not deter me from seeing someone. I have some great respect for the hobbyists that I personally know or seem intelligent on the boards, but most not so much for.

BC is huge on both sides I think. If a hobbyist that I know or respect highly says it’s probably better to look elsewhere, I’ll do it.

I hope this helps. I have crossed off a few because of what they have said on the boards. It doesn’t mean they are not great, just not for me.

There he is!  Was wondering where you went to brother!

What I really hate and try to avoid is Providers who lie about their services.  I have found Back page
broads who really take this to extremes.  Just yesterday one posted "I do everything ur wife will not do" and "You can have whatever you want"
 So what did she actually offer?  Covered BJ and fucking!!!
Without reviews you can be fooled almost every time.
  I have also decided that I am going to walk away if the girl is ugly, fat, not even close to the pics,
and I will ask up front for BBBJ as a minimum evaluation as to whether I stay.

Good question, as usual, Goldie!

I'm interpreting the question as why would I not want to see someone a first time, as opposed to a return visit.

For me, it is complicated, involving a number of tradeoffs and evaluating imperfect information.  Some very positive traits can offset some minor negative ones.   Here's part of my thought process:

Price is always relevant.  Too low might scare me away.  Too high can be financially prohibitive or make me wonder if there are equally good (or nearly so) options for less.  However, I have stretched a few times when I was fairly certain that it was worth double my norm.

Facial features, if discernible, matter a lot to me.  I'm a relative newbie, but just like a normal date, I like a pretty face.  There are lots of providers that most guys find attractive but don't appeal to me.  It's in the eye of the beholder and consistent with my tastes, as narrow or quirky as they may be.

Physical build must be less than 20 pounds above the ideal weight.  I don't require a hardbody, but trim is sexy to me.  A gut is not.  I prefer medium breast size--B to DD.  There is such a thing as too large, in my view.

I prefer no/few tattoos or tasteful ones.

I prefer nonsmoking or no smell/taste of cigarettes.

Attire matters.  I'm old school.  Platform shoes are a negative for me.  Standard pumps, sandals, or bare feet are great.  Classy lingerie, bikinis, or dresses are turnons.

Reviews are key, which is why I because a VIP.  It's all about making good, informed decisions.  Generally, close to 8/8 is my floor.  But the details matter.  I try to read lots of reviews and read them carefully.  Recommendations and repeat clients are good things.

Any signs of going through the motions, being too interested in money, rushing clients, are probably going to weigh heavily in the negative.  On the other hand, someone who is a sweetheart, goes the extra mile, maybe runs over time-wise will get bonus points and strong consideration.

Some providers' websites seem a little heavy-handed and rules oriented.  I understand the need to make thing clear and screen out the jerks, but a welcoming site beats a litany of rules.

Services matter, but again there is flexibility.  I prefer BBBJ and CIM, but great looks or a sweet personality will cause me to consider CBJ, for example.  If anal is available for a reasonable price (either base or charge), that can be a plus.  

I notice almost all cases of typos and poor grammar, but I don't weigh those heavily, and often not at all.  I'm looking fort other types of skills.   On the other hand, a provider with ratings well above 9 and rates above $500 should have an impeccable website.  Proofreading and editing can be useful.

Goldie, feel free to follow up via PM.  I hope this helps.  I admit that my tastes may be a little quirky.

Multiple bad reviews would do it. Also if there is a problem with getting the connection. For example- she insists on setting the appointment and when you arrive at the destination for a room number/apt#/condo #, it takes another 30 or 40 minutes to get the meeting place........

There are different factors...
I personally do not have unlimited funds and have to save to play so I am very cautious as to who I see...
Unfortunately if I cannot see the face of the lady on her website, I will probably pass.
The reviews. Anything below 8 and I will pass. I usually see ladies that get 9 and 10's.
Attitude. If the communication is too short and somehow rude, I will pass.
I treat the ladies I see very well and I expect the same in return.
If the session is not great, I will never repeat. That includes when the lady leaves after 40 mn. If I pay for an hour, I expect a full hour.

Typos bother me when I see them on a provider's website.
That just shows she's rushed and not diligent with her work.
Errors are not limited to spelling or grammar mistakes.
It includes the unnecessary capitalization of the first letter of certain words.
Revision is absolutely imperative if a provider wants to leave a good impression.

I'm okay with the provider not having face pictures.
All providers I've seen who don't show their face turned out gorgeous.
Recently had a date with a provider with a video ad and it instantly sealed the deal.
You can't really photoshop a video (unless you edit each individually frame), so that was a nice touch.

Seasoned hobbyists have great influence on my decision.
There are several seasoned hobbyists I respect (some already posted in this thread) and I always PM them for guidance.
If one of them tells me to be careful, I'll reconsider seeing the provider (has happened twice).

People that complain about spelling is a big pet peeve of mine.  It's like they have never made a mistake in their lives!!?? C'MON lighten up a lil.

The likelihood that I will visit a lady rises exponentially as soon as the Dr. removes the stitches.

i don't want to see a girl if she isn't as much fun as goldie knox!

Hobbyists have nothing to complain about concerning others' spelling.
I am constantly dismayed to see reviews with...

I went to her sight
She was a site for sore eyes   (is that where they store them?)
She was wearing heals  (something like band-aids?)
I was in the throws of passion (as in throws up?)

There are many more but then in dismay, I can re-read my own reviews and cringe at the typos that went through despite repeated proofreading.

We all nake mistreaks!

Meanwhile, my answer to the root question:
I look for a completely uninhibited nature coupled with niceness, fun, and some smarts. Luckily, there are many ladies that fit that description.

What would make me not see someone?
An inability to communicate - sometime I look at backpage ads that were led to by promising reviews only to find incomprehensible gibberish. If you don't think much of yourself, then I will do the same.

I must admit, tiny bad photos turn me away. There is no technical reason not to have a decently sized, well exposed picture that shows us something about the person and what she looks like. Face blurring and other privacy techniques are ok, we understand. I am certain that with your cell phone and your mirror you can take a good picture of yourself at no expense (don't use flash in the mirror!). Look at other peoples pictures and choose poses you like, then replicate them. Two or three great well-sized pictures are much better than a hundred worthless little pictures.

No pictures? No follow up. (well, I confess, back in Boston I did follow up with a provider named Grace with no pictures, and had a wonderful experience (and return visits) but only because her forum discussions were witty and beguiling and her reviews were top notch.

The tone of her ads and website are also key.  If she is full of rules and demands, I expect an unfriendly time. If she is being alluring and enticing, I expect I will enjoy myself greatly. I want a girlfriend, not a drill sergeant.

It would make seeing them a whole lot easier