TIRED?  Guess I gotta read the PM, but I don't see a problem here.  I'm far more wiped out by 3 pm than you and, as you know first hand, I only go rapidly down hill from there.  Shit, I've had days where I'm sober as can be but still can't figure out where I parked my car inside a small garage.  Talk about not being able to find your butt with both hands, bewildered and clueless are my middle name!

STANDING:  Further, who said you need to stand?  I've done innumerable things no women should ever stand for; why should you tolerate any such shenanigans?  

MR. BORING:  And I fully understand you not being well enough for much scintillating or gregarious company.  But hey, that's why I'm perfect for you now.  No one ever confuses ME with Gary Shandling, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien or Jay Leno, etc.  If I were witty, clever, charming, smart, good lookin' or good company, my dance card would be full, ya' know what I mean?

WRETCHED OR WRETCHING?  Seriously, let’s be honest here about the magnitude of my problems since you went on holiday:  In the weeks immediately after you quit giving me lessons, I made one women fall asleep during DATY (I won’t say her name here to protect her from the embarrassment of being associated with me, but her initials are Lily June).  Another gal, also to remain nameless, was made so nauseous by my oral "skills" that she ran, not walked (sprinted, actually...), to the bathroom.  I mean, when I set up our “threesome” for that evening, I DID NOT mean: me, her and the toilet bowl. I'll admit, I had some help with THAT ONE from another lady but I really think it's mainly me - I've lost that Sedona magic.

SEE?  You owe it to the profession to come back soon.