Thanks, Snowblind, but no it isn't that one. The era and tempo of the song are correct, but no that isn't it. I certainly remember that one. In fact, I have the video of the making of that song, which I bought as an impulse purchase the year the song was released(1985?) when I saw it at Tower Records that December.It's basically a compressed 24 hour behind-the-scenes studio look at the making of that record with stars such Bono, Boy George, Holly Johnson, Midge Ure, Duran-Duran, and Phil Collins, among other -- mostly British -- musical stars of that era in it. It's basically a bunch of drunk bloaks putting together a record in 24 hours. It's pretty neat to witness these guys put their licks down, particularly the Collins' drum part at the end of the record, which is rarely played all the way through anymore.
Thank you for the effort anyway. You did give me an idea, though. Hmmmmmm?
THE NIGHT BEFORE SEXMAS
Twas the night before Sexmas, and God it was neat
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry
That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf
And tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt!
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver half out of his sled
A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts!
Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree
Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub
Just then Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
And then from the roof we heard such a clatter
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
I was donning a jacket to cover my ass
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
"That was some brothel," he said with a smile
"The reindeer are pooped, mind if just stay here awhile?"
He walked to the kitchen, poured himself a drink
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
The first thing he found was a pair of false tits
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.
A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find
And a six pack of panties, the edible kind.
A bra without nipples, a penis extension
And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.
A Cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.
"This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit.
So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split."
He filled every stocking and then took his leave
With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.
He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.
In time he was seated, and took the reigns of his hitch
Saying, "Take me home Rudolph, this nights been a BITCH!"
The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
"The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!"
I heard it once again today, and the line I remember the most was one that sounded like,"Glorium, oh glorium...". Does that ring a bell with anyone ? Oh, and the lead singer is definitely British, or European of some type.
I tried putting those words into www.allmusic.com and received hundreds of possibilities, but my sound isn't working for some reason.
Thanks again to everyone who has piped in on the matter. 
-- Modified on 12/8/2004 10:29:08 AM
