"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!" Drew Carey

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless
experiences go, it's pretty damned good." Woody Allen

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,  you'd
better have a good hand." Unknown

"What do I know about sex? I'm a married man." Tom Clancy

"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all." Rodney  Dangerfield

“I like to go to bed with 2 girls at once so they have someone to talk to after I fall asleep” Rodney Dangerfield

“Know how to make your wife scream after sex? Wipe your dick on the curtains” Rodney Dangerfield

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday  night."  Woody Allen

"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty." George Burns
 
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." Matt  Barry

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the
taxidermist." Camille Paglia
 
"Programming is like sex. One mistake, and you have to support it for the rest of your life." Michael Sinz

"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast." Woody Allen

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." George Burns

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." Henry Miller

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 600SL convertible." P. J. O'Rour