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So True Mongerregular_smile
shoshilay See my TER Reviews 897 reads
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Well said on all counts. Personally, in the four years since I began my work as a provider, a few of my clients have become my closest friends and lovers.  Great deal!  What a life! :)

MongerSD1026 reads

Most guys only know the ladies from reading their ads or spending 30 or 60 mins with them once or twice. Some gents become regulars and get the know the women a little better seeing them a few times a month. Very few men actually get the pleasure of getting to know the woman behind the ad and the name and the hour.

I've been very lucky to become very good friends with a few of the ladies and get to know them away from the job, the hobby and get to know them for the women that they are. Some are moms, some are students, some work a normal job, but all of them seem to have one thing in common, away from the hobby the hobby is out of their mind.

One of the mothers I knew was one of the best moms I ever saw. She dedicated every second of her life to her kids and their needs and I got to be a part of that, going to eat, going to the park, the beach, staying at the house and seeing the everyday happenings of normal life.

Another lady I knew was In a high paying profession and basically was just involved in the hobby for the fun and excitement of it. Being with her in everyday life was and endless string of business calls, business dinners, sitting on her couch with her while she finished uppaperwork for work the next day.

Another lady is a student and when she isn't in school, she is home stressing over homework. Then trying to carry on the normal life of a student with being with family, shopping, trying to find time to be with friends. Spending time with her is an absolute  blast weather we are running errands, eating, shopping or just hanging out.

The moral of this story is that as you read these ads, read questions or stories about what happens "on the job", remember that these are just normal, everyday beautiful women who have a normal life to live and negotiate while also trying to be here for you. So think about that when trying to schedule appointments. Try to be flexible, keep the appointment or give notice you can't make it so these ladies can do something else with their time. But most of all, treat them with the utmost respect. Be a gentleman. Please and thank you. Show her every courtesy like you would if you were out on a first date with a civi and remember that they have a life to live away from here just like you do. When things run harmoniously and smoothly, everybody is happy.

Take it for what it is worth to you. Just after talking to a couple ladies the last few days I thought I needed to say this.

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jake2you675 reads

did you have to pay them to do your "research"

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MongerSD505 reads

No, became friends and see them as normal friends would see each other. A normal friendship relationship that doesn't involve or revolve around sex or the hobby. Like I said, the ladies here have normal every day lives and friendships and families just like you do. In some cases I never saw the lady for a date ever. Just met them at gatherings or started talking through Yahoo or PM's and a friendship developed. Some I did meet on a date but during that time something clicked and started talking afterwords and a friendship came out of it. The ladies here are real people and have real friends and lives, they just don't spend 24 hours a day sitting next to their phone waiting for calls. And a friendship with a lady isn't about having sex all the time or getting freebies because you are friends, it's about having a friend you have stuff in common with and enjoy spending time with just like you would anybody else.

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shoshilay898 reads

Well said on all counts. Personally, in the four years since I began my work as a provider, a few of my clients have become my closest friends and lovers.  Great deal!  What a life! :)

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bill88550 reads

That is a very important perspective. I think it is perspectives like this that ladies tell me the hobbyists on this site are a cut above others, gentlemen who respect our wonderful ladies.

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MongerSD760 reads

Think about what these ladies do, it isn't just a job, they are giving you part of themselves. That is why I respect the ladies so much, what they do is very personal and deserves respect.

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fahrkle544 reads

then there are ladies whose whole life is the business.  And it shows, I believe, in the attitudes they present in their pictures.  Some hobbyists probably do not like to think of the women they are with as people, rather they have a fantasy in mind, and a body in front of them that they can project onto.

I admit I have dabbled across that line, but never really achieved much satisfaction.  Then again, knowing the women as you do, their personal lives, was both a privilege and a reality check, in that I could fall for more than a few of them (but realized that while approachable and personable, it was still a business).

Sitting here watching the lakers game on tv, I think if you do not have a life outside the hobby, from any side, then I believe you risk losing yourself.  Then again, some transform themselves by immersing themselves in it.

But absolutely, either way (seeking fantasy vs reality), respect is key and paramount.  thanks for the post,

I need to get out more, xo

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MongerSD580 reads

"Some hobbyists probably do not like to think of the women they are with as people, rather they have a fantasy in mind, and a body in front of them that they can project onto."

I agree with that 100%. For some guys the lady is just something attached to the vagina they want to get off in and get out. For me, and for many guys I believe, part of the fun of the hobby is meeting the different ladies and doing different based on the lady and who she is and what she likes. I joke that I am quick so with an hour appointment I get 58 mins to talk, but I actually like to book 2-3 hour appointments so there is some time to stop and talk and get to know something about the lady. Maybe that is why I have become friends with many ladies and have a friendship away from the hobby.

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hiddenhills722 reads

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HolliWood563 reads

What a sweet man you are to send such a beautiful message out to all the wonderful women in this hobby. I promise you we appreciate you and those others like you, more than you know!! And to get the praise for all to see makes it even that much more special. Thank you for such an uplifting thought and for making me smile today!!
Kissez that make your heart swell
Sage

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BLUEYES900 reads

This is a very good report Monger. You are right in the ladies can indeed become very good friends outside of the profession. I have known several that way myself. One I have been seeing for more than twenty years now. I have seen her kids grow up and she mine. Yet neither of us has ever tried to tie the other dowm. She is mostly retired now and works in the real (?) world utlizing her degree. I started hobbying when I was in college and still do more than 40 years later. All of these LADIES are just that, LADIES of the highest caliber.

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BelleSt.Claire925 reads

Dear MongerSD,

Thank you so much for recognizing the women in this lifestyle are so much more than just a lifestyle choice.  Your words ring true.  Though few, I have allowed certain gentlemen to get to know me in a very personal way.  Some are now my friends AND only my friends, while others I still see as patrons and the relationship still takes place behind closed doors also.  Thank you very much.  Until we meet...

Sincerely,
Belle

Related Link: Thank You MongerSD!

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MongerSD1064 reads

I guess my perspective comes from me not saying I have friends who are providers but me saying I have friends who are ladies who also happen to work as providers. The hobby doesn't dominate the friendship, in fact the hobby isn't really much of the friendship. Sure talk comes up about it just like any friends talk about work but it doesn't revolve around it. I may have met them because of the hobby but like I said, many I never saw in the hobby, just met and became friends. One of my best friends is a beautiful young lady who has a pretty normal life and we talk about her life, mine, we go out and do things we enjoy together, oh and she just happens to be a provider, and a pretty popular one. The job may come up just as part of work but we don't really get into specifics about it. I don't ask details and she doesn't say who she saw or what happened. It may come up as she got stood up, of business is slow but a majority of of life revolves around what we like to do or talk about. And it also isn't like I think well she's a provider so I am bound to get something because of what she does, in fact it is just the opposite.

The providers I have as friends are just friends and we do normal things any friends would do. Go eat, go shopping, hang out, talk life, etc. Sounds weird but these ladies have been just as or even more normal as regular friends. Yes, it is in the back of my mind sometimes what they do and I am a little more protective of them just because of situations they may end up in with outcalls or meeting guys they really don't know but I trust them in there screening and the cautiousness they use, and they know if something does happen I will be right there to help but that is the extent of it.

A lady who works has been one of my best friends for over a year now and I like her and adore her for who she is and what she does in her everyday life to bust her butt and prepare for her future and I am there to help her with that without even talking about the other things. I know it can be for ladies in the hobby to trust men who want to be friends for ulterior reasons but I think I can honestly say that I believe the ladies I am close with know I am friends with them for who they are, not what they are and I am happy for that.

But the main point I started out with, these are for the most part just normal, respectable ladies and I am happy to be friends with them and care for them and give all I can in a friendship and don't worry or judge them for what they do, I enjoy the relationships with them for who they are.

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MongerSD693 reads

BTW on that, I don't think there is much else I can add, but I do look for ladies and gents opinions on this be it agree or disagree.

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MongerSD1002 reads

Thank you especially Sage and SouthernBelle. I hope to meet both of you one day soon.

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