I recently scheduled a threesome with an ATF of mine. The session did not go smoothly for reasons I will never understand. The session first took a bad turn when two of us we were taking turns pleasuring the third. When my turn came up, I requested some oral TC. I got the oral but never the TC, so later in the session I again requested oral TC from my ATF. My request was ignored for reasons I cannot possibly fathom. Some five minutes before the end of the 1.5 hour session, I finally had my first and only pop, which was largely accomplished by self-help. I should mention that I am a healthy 40-something man and can usually manage two pops in 1.5 hours without any problem.
I didn't mention my disatisfaction at first, but after I had left the session, my ATF called to tell me that I had accidently given them $$ more than the regular donation and she would make this up to me in our next session. In subsequent communications, it came out that she had given half of the extra $ to her partner and, therefore, this was non-refundable. Also, the other half could not be applied toward a 1 hour session but could only be used for extra time. I was a little annoyed by this, so I wrote an email mentioning my unhappiness with the session. Apparently my ATF doesn't handle criticism very well because I was told that she and her friend had done their best to make me happy and if I hadn't enjoyed myself it must have been my problem and not hers. Even if she believes this is true, I cannot believe that a provider would ever say this to a regular client.
Anyway, I have no idea how to handle this situation and need some advice. I could write a review but this seems like a lose-lose proposition for me. I would probably lose one of my favorite providers, it is possible I would be flamed and called a liar by the other members of her fan club (she is extremely popular), and, as she has said to me, a bad review would have no effect on her reputation or business. So what do I do about an ATF who has always treated me wonderfully when she suddenly doesn't care whether I am happy with her services, nor does she seem to care if she loses me as a client, nor does she care about bad reviews? Possibly this is just a bad dream so I will now pinch myself and hope to wake up. Please give me some help here! Thanks.
Try another one on one and see if your ATF still provides you the same feeling that made her an ATF.
It may be time to find a new ATF.
A whole bunch of people have made yacht payments for divorce lawyers in the past to prove this point.
For a bunch of strangers this may just be a "he said/she said" thing. None of us were there and don't know all the things that went on in your relationship before.
Your best bet would be to let things cool down for both of you and speak to her personally. Besides, does having a bunch of strangers take your side make you any closer to the real person you don't want to lose?
You presented the story in a reasonably objective manner. Share the name with us. As far as I'm concerned, this is all about being respectful with one another. And this is a service industry. And one is only as good as the last service provided.
Bks:
You write: "Share the name with us."
Well, I thought that I would just point out a thread below that was authored by Mara. She writes requesting feedback on an encounter(threesome) she and Anna had with someone. Sure seems like the answer to your question.
This is why most threesomes don't work out(private and fun). Some one feels left out of the fun. And this will end up being a he/she said. Heck I had my regular just cancell on me then at the same time said find "someone" else for no reasons???? Even after folowing all her rules.Sometimes its a hit and miss and maybe you guys just missed!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes our attempts to be objective and reasonable go out the window when one or the other sprinkles a threat all over the smoldering disagreement and really light things up. As to the discussion regarding your disappointment with your ATF's responses to you, somehow the injection of a bad review and the possible lose of clientel seem to come into play. Where did THAT come from?
Now, not knowing how THAT got into the picture (who said what, regarding your discussion with her), if you think about it, the communication of what may be perceived as a threat can pretty much be guarenteed to get anyone's back up into a defensive posture and their responses (now they're really hot) are definately not going to be what you want to hear.
I must presume your generous contribution, of course, was probably greatly appreciated at the time and remember, she can do with it as she wishes and, apply it as she sees fit. You gave it to her and it is her's. You can go anyway you like on this matter. Since she is an ATF that you obviously place a lot of value in and really don't want to give up. Make some sort of jesture that might fix things up and, try to get this thing behind you both. Maybe mark it up as education in business. Or, continue to feel pissed off and bewildered by dwelling on it and give up everything.
You are jumping to conclusions here. I never threatened her with a bad review so that is a non-issue. What happened is that I tried to smooth things over with an apology. I promised NOT to write a review in case she was worried about it. That is when she told me I could do what I wanted because a review wouldn't hurt her business.
As far as I know, my generous contribution was not appreciated at the time since I never received any thanks for it. I do realize the money is now hers. I have never asked for it back and have no intention of doing so.
the initial post which you wrote: "I could write a review but it seems like a lose-lose proposition because I would lose one of my favorite providers" and, you go on to write more about this: "She has said to me, a bad review would have no effect on her reputation or business". Additionally your wrote: "nor does she care if she loses me as a client, nor does she care about bad reviews". Sorry but that sounds defensive.
If she was never threatened with a bad review, why did she tell you she was'nt concerned about it and it would not have any affect on her reputation and business. Now, did she tell you she was worried about a bad review from you (out of the blue) before you told her you would not write one? Did she ask you if you were going to write bad review before it became a topic? Or, did you introduce the subject of a bad review ("just in case she was worried about it")? Why would you introduce the topic of a bad review to begin with? "just in case she was worried about it"?
I must excuse myself for misreading your post but, based on what you've written it can be very easily miscontrude by some of your readers and very easy to jump to conclusions. Obviously, my input is wrong and will not assist at all. I have to defer to the correctness of the prior he said/she said posting.
You seem to forget that no matter how many times you have seen this ATF, you are still just a John. She has no real feelings for you. She probably didn't want you to blow your load in her mouth in front of her friend.
It sounds like you were developing, dare I say, feelings for this chick. Don't be a fool. If the money stopped, she wouldn't give two shits about you. Especially if she is popular. Never forget that this is a money business. If you start putting feelings or guilt on any of these girls, it is adios amigos.
I would give her the boot. If she is treating you bad, don't deal with her. What do you want, a girlfriend??? It sounds like your dealing with girlfriend shit. Blow her off and find a new one. And next time, write to Dear Abby.
Yeppers! Sounds right to me. Unfortunately I took the bait and went on more than I should have. Really don't think help is really what is needed.
This only points out the one fact that a lot of guys seem to want to avoid - the girl is in it for the money. Period. End of story. If you want fantastic sex and a great relationship, bringing cash to a motel is not the guaranteed way to do it. Now I will mention that I've had (2) 3-somes with providers, and frankly, it ain't worth it - for me, I get into one other person and get kinda irked with having to split time with a third...it's just like we as men get programmed to think a 3way is just so great, but it hasn't been my experience. So never again. Will I pay for one, that is! In fact, I'm about ready to say sayonara to the world of throwing away cash on stupid fantasies that we're programmed to want by a materialistic society that doesn't value truth and beauty...but I digress.
First, I would like to say to those of you who feel the need to wildly speculate about the identity of the provider, I think we all know that I could be referring to any one of dozens of providers in SoCA. If you persist in guessing, the odds that you will end up pointing the finger at some innocent bystander are pretty high, so be careful. This is a moot point anyway, for as I said before she is for the most part an excellent provider with many satisfied clients. A single anomaly doesn’t really change this, except for me personally.
After cooling off for a few days, I realize that this was all due to an unfortunate series of miscommunications and misunderstandings (miscommunication about the time/donation, miscommunication on both sides during the session about what was expected, followed by some badly written emails by both parties where the tone was misconstrued). Because of this things became heated and yes, both people became defensive and said things they now regret, or neglected to say things that would have defused the situation. On top of this I was deluding myself with the ATF thing as most of you pointed out. So I have decided to learn what I can from the experience, let bygones be bygones and move on at least for now.
Again, my sincerest thanks to you all including Dear Abby.