I think your advice to Kylie is basically good about not getting too involved with clients emotionally. However there are more than 3 reasons why guys get involved in this hobby. So I must disagree with you and phucquer.
OK I just traveled to North County to see a friend/client that I have not been able to see in a while. Our meeting is always one of two old friends enjoying a couple cocktails, catching up on each other’s lives, and of course some good old-fashioned fun!
OK I need to segway here for a second to my thoughts on ATFs, and none of us girls having an exclusive on a hobbyist. I mean I think it is good for guys to see other women in the business, and have fun. I mean they always will come back I feel, and also there us usually plenty of work for all of us. (Well except in July!) Any way.............. Like I had said I was not available to this guy for a few weeks due to personal things here at home. So he called a girl off of EROS here in SD to see. Well this girl asked if it would be cool for her to bring her GF with her? What guy would say no to that? This gentleman knows not the plethora of info here on TER, nor will he take the time to learn new things. (I would have to agree at what you true hobbyist are thinking) Well any way these lil RIPOFF artist proceeded to steal things from his house, and also find his wallet and clean it out as well. The really sad part is, I told him he needed to do a Review on these two and warn others to their lil ways. But he is afraid of reprisal from the thieves? I proceeded to get just livid that he would not do anything to warn others about this kind of thing.
He said he took care of the situation...he changed the locks on his house, replaced the things stolen, and fixed the things they had broken in one of his bathrooms. That is when I told him he needed to warn others; otherwise he is just condoning their actions, and letting them get away with it.
I was so angry with him for doing nothing at all! I mean yeah, I am an Escort, and whether most of society looks down at me as a social Pariah I could care less. I LOVE the term Provider, because that is exactly what I would think of my self. I provide so much more than just sex I hope to the men that see me, and I absolutely detest the ones who rip off men, play the no show game, and just in general give the women who take this seriously, a bad name.
Yes I have been ripped off by a few men, and God knows how many times I have had countless no shows here. It never felt good and by no way could I ever treat another human being that way!
I wonder how many of you guys like my friend, let things go like this and never have the balls to do something about this? I was SO mad at him. In fact I was seething at the bit, and just had to go home. I could not take his money, either. Am I weird? Do any other providers feel the same as me?
I would love to post the name of this Rip Off queen too. If not anything but to warn others. But I know that is a faux paux in this industry...right? Well any comments would be greatly appreciated, and if you want to know who this Rip Off on Eros is you can PM me here at TER. I would be glad to spread the word on her, as to not let anyone else fall victim to that kind of of shit!
OH! And this is not in any way a way to bad mouth a girl at all, it is simply I am just SO mad that this stuff happens to good guys.
OK I am done, sorry to vent.
Kylie
-- Modified on 7/25/2004 7:04:05 PM
Kylie,
You are absolutely correct. In this business, the trust relationship between clients and providers plays a very important role. I am totally agreeded with you that your friend should at least post a message warning about those bad providers so other clients will not encountered the same problem. Also is the way to teach those providers a lesson not to steal stuff. That action is nothing more than a thief. This business is a very delicate business and it requires the efforts of both side.
My two cents!!!!
Tell him not to worry... The thieves are the ones that ought to worry. Tell him to buy a gun and if they ever come back (ie. trespassing/loitering/burglary), he has all the right to use it as self defense.
Isn't that what Ter is for ...so we can warn each other of the good the bad and the ugly of this "Hobby"....
Kylie, you must realize that many guys are in this hobby because they don't have balls. They don't have the balls to approach a woman at a bar or club for a date, they don't have the balls to confront their marital problems, so it is not so unusual that your friend does not have the balls to deal with this situation. You should by no means post the name of the provider in question, even in PM, it is not your concern. Your main concern is that your friend is not the man you thought he was, that is something YOU need to deal with.
I imagine your alias was used with such empathy and understanding.
Kylie should be thanked by all of us. Even if the client is reluctant to out the B^&*( who ripped him off, what happened is a modern day "getting rolled" by a hooker.
While it would be hard to go to the cops, in theory, he can always tell the cops the truth and you can bet, the cops will be on the butts of the girls.
Way to go Kylie...and out those #^&*&
This situation is much more complicated than a question of whether he has the "balls" to do something. Once a person lets a stranger into their rented/owned residence, they become a sitting duck. Makes no difference whether the owner/lessee is a provider or a client.
A tragic example: a young mother was murdered in her North Park area apartment in the 1970's, apparently as a result of the "stranger" obtaining her address after calling her about a dinnette set she had advertised for sale.
No reason to elaborate on what the "worst case" potential results might be of posting the "ladies"'s names here; anyone ought to be able to imagine. Few men would be willing to call attention to their hobby by contacting the police. If the $ amount of the loss was large, one might want to consider hiring a private detective (former cop probably best) to ascertain the true identies of the ladies and contact them. Once you have a fairly equal amount of personal information on them as they do on you, the risk of retaliation is probably reduced.
My suggestion: when an agency is involved, post the name of the agency, but be careful about posting the gal's name if she has come to your residence, especially when she has a driver.
Kylie,
I appalude your concern for this guy. You're obviously a very caring lady. Most providers wouldn't give a hoot. But...as with the guys, don't get too involved with your clients - especially emotionally. You'll only get yourself hurt. I've had a three providers over the years that I saw regularly for a long time - over a year each, one of which is still around a very popular. Eventually though the guys will nearly always move on.
Why is this? Because there are really only three reasons a guy gets into this hobby: 1>He's not getting satisfied at home, 2>He doesn't have the confidence to approach girls elsewhere, or 3>he's looking for variety. None of these are sufficiet to base a relationship on and eventually this 'realtionship' will fall apart.
Kylie, 've never met you, although I would really like to and very soon, but from what I've seen and heard about you here on TER, you're a woderful lady. Don't get yourself hurt.
As for who this lady is, it's up to you what action you sdecide to take. Personally, I think you're doing the right thing.
(Maybe I'll give you a call sometime this week and we can get together.)
I think your advice to Kylie is basically good about not getting too involved with clients emotionally. However there are more than 3 reasons why guys get involved in this hobby. So I must disagree with you and phucquer.
unfortunitly most guys have this attitude. i dont know why but the will let providers get away with murder at times. even in some cases defending the provider that ripped them off. plain and simple i go by the motto of i am the customer and i am always right. if i dont get what i want then i dont pay weather its buying a sweater or sex. so if this happened to me i would post the providers names. but no you are not crazy if fact there should be more people like you out there that give a dame.
just my opinion
I have decided if you really want to know? I will tell you in PM. I hate seeing this kind of thing, and yes it is going to keep happening to other guys I know. But please guys USE the resouces you have here at your finger tips, and becareful at all times. Just as we Providers need to be careful as well. Use your gut feelings, and don't let your small head nor lack of funds rule whether you see someone or not.
I really did just have to rant last night, which I did. But please be careful. I do feel kinda like a moron, for not doing that appointment, but hey! Like I said he is my friend too so maybe he will understand why I was so upset? I just hope he learns how to use TER to never let this happen again? Thanks everyone for listening "reading" my rant. PLEASE BECAREFUL!
Cheers!
Kylie
Please do tell..........
Don't mean to "blame the victim" but sounds like your friend set himself up. Springing for a hotel room would have been a bargain in this case, no?
"Everyone sooner or later sits down to a banquet of consequences" is a saying I believe. These individuals will have to come to terms with their actions one day. To name them is a choice, by doing so you are involving yourself in the situation and we are all responsible for our actions, and for every action there is an equal or stronger re-action. I understand and support your friendship for this person but his choice was to leave it alone and I'm sure his reasons are valid. It may not be the lack of "balls" as you so eloquently put it as much as the desire to get past it and move forward with the least amount of complications. After all they do know where he lives.
But it's still nice for the rest of us not to have to deal with the same situation and I for one appreciate Kylie's willingness to give the rest of us a heads-up.
Wow! I don't post much anymore but wanted to say kudos to you for enlightening and looking out for us. Mucho appreciated. Best.
B55
WARNING!! THIS REPLY IS BROADCAST FROM THE EMPIRE STATE SOAP BOX!!
This week has been one huge spiked catheter crammed into my shrieking urethra (no appologies).
Sounds like most of you (not all) have theories that contradict the fact that you are even a part of this Site, this Community, this Hobby, this Emporium of Fantasy , this Lifestyle.
How can you be a Provider and not report these criminals to the Authorities, preferably anomalously.
How can you be a Hobbyist, a Member of this Community, a Patron and postulate that the act of thievery against your Brethren is in anyway justified, because you choose to think that you know that a lot of Us don't have balls?
How can you, a victim, knowing that this will happen again TO ONE OF US, be so selfish as to not only be silent but also harbor these criminals? (Congratulations, by in so doing you've graduated to accomplice)
Stop for a minute and think about your willingness to let this crime be even remotely acceptable, then ask yourself how do you justify belonging to such a Society.
I applaud the fact that these opinions are freely presented here. I enjoy the social interaction and intelligent dialog of my Neighbors. Its not my intent to stifle anyone's forthrightness. I learn from from diversity.
OKAY, I'M CLIMBING DOWN NOW.