I was out with a friend I have known for about 3 years,when we initially met there was some spark but a spouse and SO kept us apart. We remained friends frequenting happy hours and other events. All the while her appearance really went down hill weight gain, bad hair styles, bad wardrobe. So naturally my attraction waned and she was moved to the friend zone. We were at a seminar and had some drinks and she made some advances that I thought I rebuffed, but she continued to come on.  At this point I thought I was out of the woods, but once we closed the bar she would not take no for an answer. I figured that I was so turned off by her that I wouldn't be able to get it up, but the other head defintely had his own agenda. I am no left with an experience so traumatic I am having a hard time imagining ever haing sex again.
How can I get this out of my mind?

You had sex with a woman you really didn't want to, and you find that traumatic?  Give me a break. You ought to try being a woman and being raped, or subtly forced be your partner to have sex.

Be honest with her about your feelings, she will eventually give up, and get over yourself.  Sheesh...I think most men could think of bigger problems, dude...no matter what she looked like.
And as long as you weren't mean to her, she got what she wanted, so consider it a charitable act.


-- Modified on 10/14/2003 9:31:59 PM

Basically, dude, you're a dick. Be lucky you get any you don't have to pay for, you sound like a real tool.

doing some quick research here and find one of the many wonderful ladies we are so fortunate to have here in lovely San Diego and book a two hour excursion and have at like a rabid ferret for some excellent memories!! Then the whole past episode will be a distant memory.

And next time use your bigger head, that is what it's there for!!

Drugs - - Therapy - - Lot's of Booze - -
Seriously though, I have to agree with the "self-inflicted wound gets no sympathy" response.
Sparker's advice seems good, but I'll disagree with one thing.  It sounds like the problem IS with the Big-Head to me.
Reading between the lines there is an assumption here that it wasn't a degrading, awful, humiliating experience for her too.  One wonders what she's telling her friends right now.  

Yes, you are right,...it was probably a really stupid thing to do, but hey, he is a guy and that is one of the stupid things most guys do. So, have some measure of sympathy for him. Hopefully he has learned his lesson and he won't do it again. Then again, maybe he will?

won't have sex with someone unappealing to me.  Especially one so unappealing as to have the feelings he is about it.