I came across this.  Looks like it may be a website where you could share the information in your post with other providers.  It is called WIWSH List and it stands for Why I Wouldn't See Him.

i for one met a woman form here who is hot and sweet and well reviewed who said she doesn't reference check ANYone. i was surprised, but hey, if you're good with whatever is going to be the outcome then do your thang! i personally check references just coz i am from here and don't want to run into anyone i may know! LOL

I am a newbie and have no references.  I did join P411, so they have collected information about me that could be used to track me down if did something awful (which i never would).  So you at least have some background data available to you through them.  

Of course that doesn't address the issue of personal hygiene issues or other serious personality flaws.

I contacted a provider on P411, said I didn't have references on P411, and she suggested that we meet for drinks first.  I think that is prudent on her part, and i am willing to pay for her time to establish my creds, as much as she can from a short face to face meeting.   You may lose business with this approach with guys who are cheap and don't care about your concerns, but you have indicated your desire to be safe, so its a tradeoff.

I think this is an excellent idea, because you do that in a public setting, and you have the opportunity to back out.  Just make it clear up front that this is a paid meeting, and it can go further if you are comfortable.  Of course, it would be good marketing practice to discount the rate on that meeting since you are not providing services.  But asking for a payment will weed out the tire kickers and you will get serious players that are willing to ante up.

I've had several experiences where I found out the lady never checked my references:

In one instance she said "oh since you said we spoke in NY I assumed we'd seen ea other before."

Another said "I never check references I just go with my gut"

Shocked really. In both cases I did not repeat. If they're not checking up on me they're not checking up on others as well. Currently it's my hope that my Whitelist speaks for itself but that's not always true for every young woman.

Why trust & rely on references from provider's you have never met?

I have never relied on references, and do not plan on starting to now because if I do not know the provider personally, then how can you trust a reference?


Self-made here, so I do my own screening.  If I need a reference it better be from a provider who is just as reputable as I am &, or of a higher caliber.  I have provided assistance for plenty of provider's here whom need a reference to get on other sites that do screen clients.  I have held private M&G's to meet the providers personally to network, and build trust.  This adult community is huge, and you never want to burn bridges because we all converse privately.

I would say for the most part most ladies I see would provide a reference. So the question is how long ago that you saw a lady is it OK to still use her as a reference?

Is it proper etiquette to tell the lady you just used her for a reference?

On the flip side I am always amazed how many ladies only have 1 review!   Isn't that like seeing a guy with no references. I mean she could could be any of the things you mentioned.  flakes..Law enforcement..Dishonesty..Poor Hygiene..Thieves..Abusiveness .ect

by highly rated providers on a date check service like P411 and the ter whitelist give you comfort. I have a bunch on both and have never had to provide any additional refererence info. Perhaps it is because I only see highly rated providers and they would not likely give an okay on P411 or the ter whitelist to just anyone?

Seems to me the TER white list is a good source.