If you had a bad time with a well reviewed provider, do you give her feedback?  or just move on?

Do you dare to write a not so good review?  Knowing that her fans will declare there's something wrong with YOU for not having a great time.

Keep in mind we all have different preferences, likes and dislikes.  Maybe we just didn't click, or one of us had a bad day.

Need your help.  I don't want to be one of these guys that have a grading scale of only 7 to 10.

It's important to be fair.  The fairest thing to do would be to give her another chance.  Let the new score be the one you submit to TER w/ your review.  

I assume she'll jump at the chance to provide the "make up" session at n/c or at a discount.  If it's a full-price session, I suppose I'd average the two for review purposes.  

Being male, if an appointment didn't go supremely well, I'd automatically assume it was her fault.  (How could it be wonderful me?  But seriously, on the infinitesimally small off-chance there might be something the gent could have done better, it might be good form to ask her.

Personally, if I had a bad time with a well reviewed then I would write a bad review. I have to call 'em like I see 'em, and the hell with the fans.

In a restaurant years ago, I saw a sign that for who knows why, always stuck in my head. It said "if you like the food and the service, tell your friends; if you DON'T like the food or the service, tell US".
I think Jenni's post/s and retraction post are a perfect example here of a good, reputable provider (and lady) who simply wants to understand and have some communication regarding a possible dissatisfaction, etc.
Those of us who are customer service oriented, and are level headed and mature in thinking welcome the communication.
No client of mine should ever feel that he needs to hide behind a posting handle or reviewing handle to say what he wants to say. Not only do I want to have an openly communicative 'relationship', but I welcome it!
As I have stated many times before in my posts (on the National Board) when you think of the entire complexity and mix going on in the whole Provider/Client scene, it's amazing so much goes RIGHT, or WELL! Throw two perfect strangers together and have them know each other in the closest of ways for a limited time, well, sometimes thinking about it is actually hilarious!

You can't imagine all the stuff going on in our minds during the process - from the first communication to getting in the car to go home. It would blow you away. Fortunately I have the closeness with some of the gents to let them know what things we have to be thinking about all the time - all the while, seeming as if I don't have a care in my head!

As far as your situation - is she someone you feel you could communicate with? If so, I feel you have the obligation to speak with her first. Insofar as your review of her goes, there's always a gentle way to say just about anything. It begins with motive..

Don't forget, the board is a reference for the hobbyists.  At times I think guys are too generous to an already established provider fearing the backlash from the board if they give an honest review with lower than normal ratings.

Reviews are here first and foremost to serve the hobbyist.  Never fear to post a review if it is the truth.  No matter how well respected a provider is, if she honestly was sub-par, speak up, by all means.  

If you think this might be subjective on your part, say as much in your review.  Your words will go a long way in your sounding believeable and in defending the review you give, and if you are sincere and not vindictive in your review, then there is nothing that can detract from the truth.

I have been luck in that I can honestly say that I have never been with a provider who has given me less than an "8" in terms of performance.  However, if that happened, you can be sure I would post it, no matter who it was.

-- Modified on 9/14/2003 10:02:13 PM

Yeah, some will.  Well, that's life.  Some folks just don't get it that tastes and experiences vary.  But as spacey pointed out, what use is TER if only positive reviews get posted?  What's the worst that can happen?  A few harsh words?  Nobody's going to knock on your door or throw rocks at your window.

So just post fairly and objectively and everything should be OK.

I think you have already been given some good advice on this subject.  If you can talk to her about it that may be one way to go.  That may depend upon what you found wrong about the meeting.  You will have to decide if she is likely to be receptive to a discussion like Sedona or is likely to get angry or defensive.  Many people do get defensive especially when it deals with this topic.

It sounds like you are relatively new to the hobby.  After you have been around for a time you may find it easier to distinguish her fault, your fault or YMMV although you may seldom be 100% sure.  

If you post a review try to be as objective as possible and explain exactly why you are giving the lady a bad review.  There is no need to get nasty or resort to name calling.

You expressed concern that some of her supporters may flame you if you write a negative review.  That may happen.  However you would be surprised at how many times a thread like that gets started and several other clients will speak up and say that they had the similar experience and were too timid to write a bad review at the time or felt that since she was so well reviewed that it must be their problem.

Unfortunately this is a situation where you really have no rights except those which the "popular provider" is willing to concede to you.  She can choose either to treat you like a human being or to stomp on you as if you were a cockroach.  How the situation turns out is entirely up to her, not you.

You might try talking to her first.  If she is customer-oriented she will listen respectfully to what you have to say.  If you are very lucky she may even apologize or offer to make it up to you.  However, another possibility is that she will become angry and defensive no matter how valid your complaints are.  After all, if she's popular she probably has a dozen hobbyists waiting in line to tell her how great she is, so why should she have to listen to you?  If this happens be careful...those stiletto heels hurt like hell when they go through your thorax.

If you still feel dissatisfied after speaking to her, I would recommend that you write a review describing what happened as objectively as possible.  Let the facts speak for themselves.  No one can fault you for being honest.  You may become unpopular with her fans but at least you'll still have your dignity.

Of course, by itself your review will be meaningless, an "outlier data point" that hobbyists automatically discard.  However, if another hobbiest catches her on a bad day, your review will at least let the poor guy know he's not alone.  And if she starts having a lot of "bad days", no one will ever know about it unless someone like you writes a review.

I gave feedback to a regular of mine once because there was one session I felt that didn't go well compared to the past.  I thought I was nice in the way I talked about it, but the next few times I saw her she was obviously resentful about it.  And this is a well known lady here on TER.  So be careful.

-- Modified on 9/15/2003 1:10:24 PM

I think you should state exactly what was bad about it. Bad is a very subjective word, as are most adjectives. Did she kick you at exactly at 60 minutes while watching her watch the entire time? Did she not offer you a drink? Did she not lick your ass? Did she not serenade you as you walked through the door? Was she stank? Really, what constitutes a "bad" time?


I saw a client today who I absolutely, positively will NEVER see again. He wasn't mean. He wasn't unclean, but there was ZERO sexual chemistry. To begin with, he was a half hour late (though he did call). He kept squeezing my breasts incredibly hard, and playing with my nether regions in the most ridiculous way. When I was fellating him, he kept asking me questions like....Where'd you go to graduate school? What was your major? When was your first time? Helllllllllloooooooooooo...I'm sucking your dick here. Can you shut the fuck up? His kissing was the worst. He kept jabbing his tongue in and out of my mouth like a Gila Monster on coke, and his mouth was pressed really hard to mine like I was Annie the CPR doll. I told him SEVERAL times, "Please be gentle!" I cannot believe a man at age 47 has such bad kissing skills. Our hour was well past, and I hinted that we should finish up. He said, "We're just getting started." I said, "I hate to tell ya this, but you cannot stay past 00:00. I have an orthodonist's appointment at 00:30, and I cannot be late."


He will probably write a review bitching like hell about this and that, but I don't care. It was one of my worst sessions ever, and *I* did nothing wrong besides inviting him over in the first place.

i just reviewed a gal that got all kinds of good reviews. it's not me,,,i'm very accomodating. i think all the gals deserve respect.

but after a while you can tell, if that's the way she is, or if the circumstances were unusual.

...just how interesting a woman you really are at least on one level. It's that offbeat sense of humor. You had me ROFL with some of your one liners on this guy. Actually I am sure you are one interesting woman on several levels which might explain why
Singleton, AKA: Lord Almostbald "Kermit the Frog" Buckminster Singleton III,Esq. is apparently so smitten with you. He is quite smitten is he not? Or is the repartee between you and "Singy" as he is so quaintly referred to at times on these boards purely for entertainment purposes alone??
I do have much respect for "Singy" and find his dry wit entertaining.

Perhaps there is some response waiting in the wings from the most recent beta release of Cynicalman 3.1xxx.

Ya just never know when some cretin of a client is going to walk through the door. I'm sorry you had to endure this but the one positive perhaps is that it prompted you to put your creative writing skills to good use and provide us all a good laugh. In all seriousness I am sorry you had to put up with some
guy like this with such an apparent case of arrested development. Maybe he does have a congenital thyroid deficiency.

"...his mouth was pressed really hard to mine like I was Annie the CPR doll"
"Helllllllllloooooooooooo...I'm sucking your dick here. Can you shut the fuck up? "  Classic: perhaps you should have taken a quick breather and just blurted that out instead of simply thinking it!
So where did you go to graduate school and what was your
major?

In the spirit of recompense for what you endured with this guy
I'd like to suggest that you consider a visit to "America's Finest City" beautiful San Diego. I'm sure there are more than a few guys here who would like to show you that not all guys in their forties and fifties, or most any age range acceptable for that matter, are so lacking in social and other "skills".

Actually I do not know where you are based  since I am quite new at this "hobby". So if I've made a mistake along those lines please forgive me.

Just wanted you to know that I enjoyed the humor of your post.










-- Modified on 9/15/2003 7:57:48 PM

I agree with spaceymc in that you have to be clear in what you didn't like without being an asshole.  I have read some pretty cruel reviews and wondered after that who really had the problem.  

If it is a matter of odor or general cleanliness is should be posted.  If anything the girl will remember to cleanse next time.  If she appears racist or phobic about something, again I think it should be posted.  I gave a review about an OC favorite, but she definately jacked me around.  Why?  Who knows.  She should have just said later and not answered the door, but instead she took my money and hid in a bathroom for an hour.

If you get there and just decide you don't like redheads or women over a certain age, you have not done your homework and should probably just keep quiet.

Unfortunately, I have been with women I felt needed a score of less than 8, but hopefully I was tactful in my presentation.

Forgive the intrusion, but I feel very impelled to respond.  I give you major kudos for being so enlighten to make the right choice.

What boggles my mind...do you notice if a client has a bad time with a provider, they always attack them on every other aspect as well?. She will show consistent 8's 9's or 10's in looks before but an one inadequate service also lowers scores in looks.  

I am dreaming when I say this but, you are able to post an honest, less than flattering review WITHOUT damaging the girl or her reputation.  By choosing words carefully and thoughtfully, I.e. "She was not my type of provider having a bad day" or "Contrary to other reviews, our chemistry did not mesh." Not blatantly thrash girls. As we commonly see over and over. I guess my point is, unless it's a ROB situation, there should be any cold-hearted, vicious attacks.

On a positive note, however getting a few "judge-mental" reviews in the mix actually drums up business.  Ironically, it's the mens  mentality of, what's going on with the provider?? or they need to check her out for themselves.

Okay, just food for thought!
Good Luck,
~Anjala`

you can't go wrong.

I am always amazed how articulate and well-thought-out Sedona's posts are. I couldn't have said it better. Well done.

*someone* appreciates my goofy sense of humor. The least I can do is bring some humor to these too serious boards. My scenario happened exactly like it was written. And about San Diego - I am actually moving there later this year. I cannot to leave where I am, and begin a new life on the west coast. And no, I won't tell you who I am. That's classified information I'm still shocked that Singleton figured it out, since I never post links to my reviews. Have a wonderful day, and laugh a little next time you visit a provider.

P.S. Singleton and I are brother and sister.

Is it normal for a hobbyist to say he had a bad time and expect another session at n/c  or  at a discount?

I personally  wouldn’t go for something like that and I would actually find it rude.  If a guy has a date with me and doesn’t like it then he should go elsewhere and write me a factual review (from his perspective).  I respect  that more then if he wanted me to give him a make-up session at n/c.  But maybe I’m just stubborn?
But then again if I knew the service wasn’t fully up to par I would apologize to him and offer a make up date on my own initiative.  

Does this sound like the right way to go about doing things?

XXXShay

Shay,
I don't know about others, but I would never expect a make up session at either a reduced charge or for free.  It's jsut not reasonable.  If I felt that there was a serious problem with the session, I might mention it to the provider before I left.  If I did not consider the problem too serious, I would just ignore it.  

Once I did have a provider offer a free repeat because she was not feeling well, was on her period and had to leave early. (She really should not have been working that night.)  I was very impressed and accepted at a reduced rate.  I felt that she at least deserved something for trying to accomodate me.

If I really did not like the session, I would not go back and, after talking to  her, would write a review based a mutual understanding.  

Guys and gals, please try to treat each other with honesty and respect, and things will go well for everyone.  At the same time, realize that some people really click while others just clunk.

Shay,

I'd say first that I don't have enough experience in the hobby to know what's "normally" done.  Alarmin1's answer is probably better than anything I could offer.

I was thinking in particular of an experience I'd just had with an established local lady that I like a lot.  During, 'you know ', her period started and her BC device seemed to be descending.  The first was no big deal but the second, which only I could feel, was a show stopper.

Her first thought was to return the cash.  I couldn't hang with that because I'd paid for time, not for sex.  I received time, so I wasn't due a refund (as I saw it).  

A few weeks later, when everything was cleared by an OB, she saw me again for a dinner date.  She let me know in advance that this one was a freebie.  I thought that over and decided, since it was nearly a 3-hour date, that it would be more fair to offer something.  I decided to slide $$.5 over to her side of the table, which was maybe half her “website rate” for that much time.  I asked her to let me know if that was too much or too little.  I could see her considering refusing it completely.  (You can see why I like her...) Finally, she jsut let me know that it was VERY much appreciated.  (I knew funds were a little short for her that month).

She and I are both YMMV people.  I hope the way I handled that was the “right” thing to do.  One could say I over paid or underpaid, but I feel OK about it.  If she thinks I overpaid, she’ll probably “overstay” on a future date.  If she thinks I underpaid, she’ll watch the clock a bit strictly.  Either way, I trust her to do what’s fair (just because someone’s in business, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re greedy).  

Be interested to hear your thoughts.

There's no such thing as a free "box lunch' Shay.

Caveat Emptor. Buyer Beware.

Hobbyists should not expect freebies. If unsatisfied go elsewhere.
I had a bad experience at a major department store in 1974 and have not been back since. Guess that's a long time to hold a grudge but it's my cash so...

If you think you didn't do a good job for some reason on the day/night in question you could consider a discount or a little more effort/time on the next round. Possibly a discount but it's probably best for both parties to move on.

What I'd love to see is more providers offer discounts to repeat customers.

PS  I will be calling you sometime for some fun someday.