I got into a heated dispute with a provider last night and need a mediator to resolve this situation without it getting "out of hand."

I'm a relative "newbie" on here and don't know where to turn.  I don't want to bring it up with providers who like me -- I don't want them involved.

I need a neutral third party who is more experienced here at TER than I am.

I want to do the right thing and also want to stop short of WWWIII which is where the provider is headed.

I posted a question on the newbie board after unsuccessfully searching for the situation.  The response I got from the board was that my situation had been handled before and I was given a URL to follow.  Posting the URL in Google got me nowhere.  Posting the number from the URL in the forum search field also got me nowhere.

Situation is that I showed up to a new provider and she looked nothing like her photos.  She had requested an expensive bottle of champagne for the date.  So, when I told her I was not interested in a date, I willingly gave her the $50 bottle of champagne as a gift.  I still feel that is a reasonable action on my part given that I was the victim of "bait and switch."   The provider has not stated her demands to stop coming after me, but I assume she feels I should pay her the full fee for the date given that I walked away.

Apparently there is advice for newbies on this situation on the Newbie Forum, but I can't find it.  Regardless, I still need mediation to keep this from escalating.

Help!

If it was truly a bait and switch, then you did the right thing by leaving.  Now, how is this still an issue?  Is she calling you nonstop, demanding the money?  If so, just block her number.  I really hope she doesn't know where you live.  

You posted this question already and a number of people responded.  Isn't that enough?  

I'll tell you how I would handle it.  Very simple thing called ignore.  You block their number and you move on.  Lesson learned.  We've all be victim at one point or another to the bait and switch, the upsell, the dash with cash, etc.  Suck it up and move on.  If you're unable to, maybe playing in this world is something you shouldn't be doing.

DM Fred - Not sure the exact situation since your details are a tad bit obscure.  Here is what I have said OVER AND OVER AGAIN on this board and slowly it is sinking in.  Some rules to live by:

ABOVE ALL - NEVER use your primary handle to do a review or give negative feedback and make damn sure that your ALIAS and primary handle are TWO DIFFERENT personas.  THIS IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD!  TRUE TO THAT!!!

1. NEVER EVER provide your physical address and give a shitty review - she has you by the balls and will use that to her advantage.

2. NEVER EVER provide real employment info - see #1

3. REALLY IMPORTANT!!  PAY ATTENTION - NEVER EVER EVER do a review a reference the date/time - say it was 2 months ago and make some shit up otherwise - see #1

4. Dont EVER give any personal info to the provider.  You may think everything is cool but when she has the opportunity she WILL use it against you.  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

5. BE WARY of any provider wanting excess personal info.  There was just a thread two hours ago where the OP who is a semi well known provider was bitching about this - BE WARE

6. You can NEVER be careful enough!  Once a single provider has your personal info then consider THEY ALL HAVE IT.

Want to fuck around and not beleive what I am saying then you will end up very quickly in Fred's boat.  Then it will be your problem explaining to your wife, employer, mother, friend, etc who Miss Sexy Provider is.

GUYS - Don't do it.  Don't become pussy whipped by the few DEMANDING providers.  As A HappyCamper points out, there are plenty of other more reasonable dates!!

BE SAFE and keep it all personal!

H1

-- Modified on 9/27/2015 5:49:17 PM

that said, the damage is done here. You did the right thing in both deciding to leave and offering a consolation gift. In hindsight, throwing down a Benjamin would have done the trick, but you never know.  

if she knows your real name, she has a lot of leverage (see AEJ's rules). If she doesn't care about her TER status you have little recourse without taking on more pain.

 
To quote John Blutarsky: My advise to you is to start drinking heavily.

Actually, I wouldn't have given her the bottle. If a provider simply not my type, I might give 40/60 bucks for the trouble, but if it's a clear case of bait and switch, I just turn around and leave.  Also, behind smiles and friendly demeanor, most if not all providers have a much darker and harsher side to them. And they are all total sharks when it comes to money and reviews. Always remember: they are providers and NOT your friends.

FDB!

You should have kept the bottle.  Who is she to request an expensive bottle of champagne when she lied about who she is....

TER is about sharing, so share with the community who is false here.

Their are real PRO's who utilize your personal information to screen properly, and would never jeopardize sharing your information for negative results.  I have an SO & a family, so I always choose whom I play with wisely.

I do not feel the advice above is good for seasoned VETS.  Maybe I am bias because I know who the alias is & his past bs drama that occurred with a young provider who is no longer around.  

Young, dumb & full of cum can always be a problem.  Do not let 1 bad apple ruin it for the whole bunch. You should call the lame provider out.

"Situation is that I showed up to a new provider and she looked nothing like her photos.  She had requested an expensive bottle of champagne for the date.  So, when I told her I was not interested in a date, I willingly gave her the $50 bottle of champagne as a gift.  I still feel that is a reasonable action on my part given that I was the victim of "bait and switch."   The provider has not stated her demands to stop coming after me, but I assume she feels I should pay her the full fee for the date given that I walked away."

Hello so this was the part that has the "info" of what happened.
So you booked, didn't like what you saw and decided to leave. Totally your choice and right! I tell my friends who are nervous about meeting me without a face shot are welcome to leave if they make that decision before coming into my location (or me into theirs). Not a big deal to me, I would rather ensure my friend is happy than him just "biting the bullet" and going through with a date he may not be into. So kudos for walking. The question I have is what is going on to prompt this thread?  

"The provider has not stated her demands to stop coming after me, but I assume she feels I should pay her the full fee for the date given that I walked away."

What is she doing? What are her activities/actions currently?  
I would suggest posting her name if the harassment continues.

Lots of the guys here PM each other for other info on ladies so you can try to ask guys who have reviewed ladies you're interested in for more info and also look for ladies with recent photos with a mix of selfies and pro shots. The selfies will show the "real" side and the pro shots will show the more glitz/glamour side.

The purpose of the bottle was a form of LE check, falsely believing that someone who goes to the trouble of buying a fairly pricey bottle of alcohol is most probably from LE.

This premise is totally false as all those "LE checks" are. LE can f*ck you and have you s*ck him and still arrest you. Once you are inside the sting either way whether a john or a hooker, you gonna be arrested so the best thing is to: KEEP YOU MOUTH SHUT!!!

Great point!  I never say anything, and always go along with whatever the girl wants to do, but I always laugh on the inside when asked for a LE check. LE CHECKS ARE A MYTH!

Law enforcement is legally allowed to lie to you in order to extract information.  For the women out there, like casinostocks said, a cop can legally fuck you before he has to display his badge.  In fact this is preferred as it makes it easier to prove your intentions in court.

If you want to see how twisted SDPD's vice unit can be, google the lawsuit they're involved in with a group of strippers.  How many billions of dollars have been spent on eradicating prostitution and drugs?  Anyway, what is this thread about again?

Exactly! There are quite a few complaints out there when the LE (male vice officer) was running an outcall and engaged in some sort of coital and sexual activities before making an arrest. Typically when there are two male officers in tandem for outcall arrests, they are both in the rigged game and deny, deny, deny anything that the hooker may accuse them of, even if all true.

P.S. in my original post the work NOT was omitted in: "... trouble of buying a fairly pricey bottle of alcohol is most probably from LE."
 

I'm pretty sure it has been covered here, but I'll say it again.  Whether you are new or old to this hobby, if a provider pulls a bait and switch on you it is your right as a customer to walk the hell away!  Your a better man than me for at least giving her the bottle of wine and she should be ashamed of herself for trying to trick you and then harassing you about it after the fact.