> >
> > I the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for
> > the following reasons:
> >
> > I do physical labor
> > I work at great depths
> > I plunge head first into everything I do
> > I do not get weekends or public holidays off
> > I work in a damp environment
> > I work in a dark place that has poor ventilation
> > I work in high temperatures
> > My work exposes me to contagious diseases
> >
> > Dear Penis: After assessing your request and
> > considering the arguments
> > you have raised, the administration rejects your
> > request for the following
> > reasons:
> >
> > You do not work 8 hours straight
> > You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
> > You do not always follow the orders of the
> > management team
> > You do not stay in your designated area and are
> > often seen visiting other
> > locations
> > You do not take initiative - you need to be
> > pressured and stimulated in
> > order to start working
> > You leave the work place rather messy after your
> > shift
> > You do not always observe necessary safety
> > regulations, such as wearing
> > protective clothing
> > You will retire well before 65
> > You are unable to work double shifts
> > You sometimes leave your designated work before you
> > have completed the
> > assigned task
> > And if that were not all, you have been constantly
> > entering and exiting
> > the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags
> >
> > Sincerely, the Management