I hate to gripe but I had to write this.  I am sick and tired of providers who never answer their e-mail.  If you advertise that is the way to contact you then answer your mail.  Anything else is rude and unprofessional.  If you are not interested then say so.  No matter what the reason you need to respond.  Any response is more acceptable than none at all.  I have e-mailed three providers at least 6 times each in the past two weeks with no response.  They are probably the same ones who complain about the number of no-shows they get.  They also give the good providers and their profession a undeserved bad rep.  If you are too lazy, uninterested or so afraid of LE then quit the damn business and stop wasting my time and everyone elses.

What's even worse than the no return email is the book-a-date, no-show, no call, no email (not even to the wrong phone or email address), and no decent follow-up explanation.  The ladies can at least try to treat their clients and potential clients with some respect, as they expect to be treated.  And don't give us this crap about the "stresses" of your profession.  

You have no more stresses than anyone else in any other profession.  And the key word here is "profession."  A profession implies that the person doing it is professional.  Failure to respond is anything but professional.  And yes, but doing the right thing sometimes takes time.  (Computer glitches and vacations are forgiven.)  Take an hour out of your busy day and cut-and-paste "sorry, not available" or "there is no way in hell I would ever book a date with a low-life scum like you," or something at least.

Sadly, Rmple, your rant will go for naught because if the failure to respond actually resulted in a hardship to these women, it wouldn't happen.  The ladies apparently keep getting inquires and they can keep busy simply by picking and choosing the select few to whom they wish to respond.  

Of course, I assume your communications are not inappropriate, in which case, as we know you get automatically dinged with no response (and rightly so, Elise ).  

By the way, what does it say about us poor suckers who keep beating our heads against brick walls?  I'm just as guilty, sad to say.  

I will say, there are some ladies out there who always make it a point to respond, even if the inquiry doesn't have anything to do with a date--thank you Sedona, Mara and Elise, who make it a point to be sure us guys don't feel like insignificant nothings (or at least make it a point to be sure I don't feel that way ).

Have I done a flip-flop on this issue?

Could not agree more. I've tried email and vmail to one of the better reviewed girls many times in the past few weeks and gotten no response. Shows a complete lack of class, if you ask me. Maybe we should have a list of the non-responders so guys will know not to waste their time.

Excellent idea, post them out then we don't need to put up with their crap, thanks BUDBOY2.

Firstly it's vacation time.

Some of the email accounts don't have vacation responders.

Mine does, doesn't mean it always works.

Secondly, email isn't foolproof, especially free web based accounts.  Do try to resend.

Another thing.  Make CERTAIN that you do EVERYTHING the lady asks you to do in her website advertisement.

We're all individuals, so I'm certainly not speaking for everyone, but these are just some hints.  

Don't attach anything and put something in the subject line that will flag the lady that you want a date, like "I'd like a date with you on Month/Day/Time"

We get a TON of spam and another TON of mail from guys that just write "I'm interested in a date, what next?"
(In my case, the "what next is spelled out in my dating advertisement, so I may or may not spend time to paste my advertisement into a reply and state something like "everything you need to know is here in my advertisement")

Never, never, never, be suggestive.  Just stick to the facts.  "I work here, in this city/state  I'd like a date on this date at this time for this long and I'd like for it to occur at this address.  You can check out my professional licensure because I'm a Doctor, real estate guy, attorney and my true name is first/middle/last.  

I don't think most of us need to know if you think you're good looking or not, sure, tell us how tall you are and how much you weigh if you want, it probably isn't going to make much of a difference.  Of course your wine preference is nice and what type of food you like or your favorite hobby.

When you start getting into how much you like to be generous or how much you like to please your date, you're treading on thin ice.

If you tell me that you want all the things your wife thinks are too nasty, HONK HONK HONK you're out and either a short NO thanks or no reply will occur.

Asking for rates is usually taboo.. gift suggestions should be listed on that advertisement. Asking whether someone is full service or anything similar?  It's a date!

I just returned from 7 days out of state and more than 90% of the inquiries were either suggestive or asked about escorting rates or simply didn't give me the information that I request on my advertisement.

Guess which inquiries I responded to first?  I think I did finally respond to all of the inquiries, however I took my time, and if I hadn't responded to the ones that said "What are your rates for an hour?"  I wouldn't have felt like I did anything wrong.

It's part of screening that a guy follow instructions on an advertisement. Just assume that you're screened out and move on.  It's probably a good thing?

Then again, there are some ladies in town that are known to be hit and miss and are worth the try, try, try again method.

Regarding being professional, I personally do this for fun and relaxation, however for those that think this "profession" isn't any worse than any other... well, think again.  I've had known bad guys contact me on a steady basis since I put my advertisement up three month ago.  They want to entrap me and I've never done anything illegal and I never will.  How many of you professionals can say that about your "job"?

For those of you that don't want to give up your information but want a date with a well known independent~~ one lady  that I know says "I'm not a dentist."  She isn't going to spend her time trying to get your information as though she's pulling teeth.  Either give us your information or go with a lady that doesn't care.

I know, Rumple, that you're not one of these guys that I'm referring to, but some of the guys that read your post might be.

I hope this helps!!!

Happy Hunting!

xoxox
Elise

I just wanted to write and say that I do try to respond to all inqueries and phone calls. One thing I would like to add,is please let us know if it is okay to call at a later date. I have had the experience of doing so and it obviously was not appropriate. I try to be smart and not create any problems with why I am calling, but it is embarrassing. I have both an email and a phone number,two numbers actually. Please,any one that wants to see me, try the numbers first. I do check my email but sometimes my computer has a mind of its own, and wont let me. Have a great weekend everyone.... Stay Safe.

-- Modified on 7/24/2004 6:29:20 AM

...waiting for a list of names to appear in this thread. That would especially apply if the names to be listed were of some of the more popular providers.

Yes I'm using an alias here because I have reviews that would link me to certain providers and, well suffice it to say, I wouldn't want to risk some potential negative ramifications. Not so sure what form that might take, could be that I'm just being a bit over cautious.

I understand the frustration when trying to set up something and getting no response, not so much as a no thank you, not interested, nada. On the flip side some of these ladies put in a lot of time weeding out the "wheat from the chaff". I'm simply suggesting that there is sometimes an explanation for such "unprofessionalism" that although we may not care for it, may not agree with it, it just happens. Sometimes there is a decided lack of effective time management. Sometimes it requires more patience than we are willing to give. It's not always a clear cut black and white issue.

Curiousgeorgy said it quite well:

"Sadly, Rmple, your rant will go for naught because if the failure to respond actually resulted in a hardship to these women, it wouldn't happen.  The ladies apparently keep getting inquires and they can keep busy simply by picking and choosing the select few to whom they wish to respond."

In part it is free market forces at work.

Sometimes the only option is just to cut one's losses early and simply move on.

I would also agree with cg on the following:

"I will say, there are some ladies out there who always make it a point to respond, even if the inquiry doesn't have anything to do with a date--thank you Sedona, Mara and Elise, who make it a point to be sure us guys don't feel like insignificant nothings"

It goes a long way with me when a provider shows the civility   to take a moment to respond to an occasional contact that may have nothing to do with a date. Unfortunately that can occasionally lead to a little confusion and misperception of intent, so it needs to be rather infrequent, respecting the fact that her time is valuable just as ours is. Some hurt feelings, or worse, can result if such things are not kept in perspective.


There are a few other things I could say but I'm not sure it would serve any useful purpose other that to get it off my chest.
I'm sure it would potentially be misunderstood and thus do more harm than good. I do sometimes find the lack of logic in interpersonal communications to be very exasperating, especially when I'm convinced I've been misunderstood. Sorry I've drifted a little off topic.

This post has nothing to do with previous threads that dealt with provider reviews as I consider that a totally different issue.

-- Modified on 7/23/2004 5:45:57 PM

Thats a great point about calling and giving time frames to call back in. I also understand that not everyone has unfettered access to a computer, but when weeks go by with no response... well thats POOR customer service.

I recently stopped listing my number to end the inconvenience of worrying I ought to give a courtesy callback even when I cannot.

The callers I do not respond to leave unclear messages or are crude.  My greeting states that a specific time must be left for me to call back.  This way, I avoid the risk of wasting all of our times with phone tag.  I do not leave voicemail, for privacy and safety, which is clearly stated in my terms of service.  If I don't call back it is because I was not available at the time requested.  This is luck of the draw, nothing personal...

I am afraid I would be "listed" under this criticism for a lady's method of sifting through the dozens of cold contacts.  For every dozen, I have one date.  I  have decided that I do not owe my time to a person who does not pass my earliest, simplest screening, specificaly, leaving a succint message as described by my greeting.  I think I am behaving professionally in contrast those gentleman callers.  I hope I would not be "listed" for my choice.  Would I be?

Fortunately, for whatever reason, email contact has worked better for me...I have already removed my number from my website, so this is a moot point now for me, but I still thought my experience and opinion might be interesting/useful to others.  And wonder what the response is to my attitude on the voicemail.

I do agree that following a lady's "instructions" should be a prerequisite to expecting a return contact.  I have absolutely no problem with what you said in your post.  If initial contact is not as requested, then I don't believe the guy who gets upset that he didn't hear back has any foundation for his upset.

...LOL. That dry wit that you and some of your "sisters" display at times is just so refreshing.

I for one am NOT one of those guys who likens the typical screening process to something akin to a root canal. I understand the necessity to insure your safety, and fully recognize that the bad guys are often repeatedly testing providers to see if they can get by the screening process or engage in entrapment in trying to get a provider to respond to suggestive comments.

I also understand that it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the basic protocol for making the initial contact. Simply reading the information on the web site generally answers most questions and makes the process pretty straight forward.
I'm sure there are some who simply don't take the time to read basic instructions, or perhaps are with respect to literacy, somewhat challenged, and those are the types who tend to waste a provider's time. I'm sure it would be an eye opener to some of the guys to see just how much frivilous, bone headed nonsense that many providers have to wade through in trying to figure out who is serious, who knows how to comply with reasonable screening measures, and who is a bad guy trying to catch you with your guard down. Throw in the guys who are simply too lazy to make even the least effort and it certainly must get tedious and time consuming.

I just want to thank you for your comments. I hope that I did not come across as a bit too harsh in my previous post to this thread. I'm not saying that it is necessarily the case that I came across in that way.
It's just that it is not always a certainty that the written word will be understood as intended.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.




-- Modified on 7/26/2004 4:46:59 PM