Over the past week (or so), I noticed that there have been some reviewers who seem to have a different opinion of the popular providers.  As a result, many seem compelled to defend the providers - "Why did he give her such a low rating" and "What a jerk".  WAKE UP - if your'e a provider and there are review boards, you CAN get a low rating in looks.  At least your'e getting some feedback so you can fix something.

As MistressM (and others) point out - looks are subjective.  I would like to suggest that the defense of the popular providers and debating their looks, performance and "Good Egg"-ness go somewhere else.  I mean this is ridiculous.  NONE of the other boards have this type of defense.  How about a new board, just for San Diego providers and hobbiests to lament a bad score?

are we going to have a new thread everytime a popular provider gets a bad review now?  this is getting silly.

This is a discussion board! As such, it is meant for people to discuss things including negative reviews. If you don't agree or are bothered by it, then don't read the posts! It is not like anyone is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to read it.

It is a fact of life that some people are going to defend undeserved reviews of well-known and respected providers. I think it is a show of camaraderie rather than anything nefarious. So, what’s your beef?

Agreed,  enough already.  If some fool is blind enough to give Mara a 4 in looks, so be it.  That way when I finally clear my schedule to see her she will not be busy seeing this guy again!!!!

And IMO Cinder's review was mostly positive. At least, I bet if you asked the guy, he felt that he left her a "good" review. Although I think parts of Jenni's review could have been phrased better, I think he was trying to give her a good review as well.

To Jenni and Cinder - you know, I got a bad review once where someone gave me a "5" in appearance which is "plain". I'm pretty sure why they did it too -I don't think it had much to do with my looks and more to do with my unwillingness to add items to my menu. What's funny is I remember this guy like it was yesterday - we chatted a lot - I even remember the names of his two young daughters. So we got along great when he was here (I thought), but in his case I think it was a case of "buyer's remorse" after he got home. Perhaps he regretted spending $ on a strictly FBSM experience when an escort would have served him better. Perhaps your reviewers also suffered from "buyer's remorse" that had little or nothing to do with you. Don't let them get you down.

Now, even though I have passed my 30th birthday, I know I am not plain looking, nor have I ever been plain looking. Those of us who have been in the adult industry for a long time have probably been strippers, nude models, etc and had our looks criticized and praised endlessly over the years. We know exactly what our strong points are and exactly how attractive we are to the average male.

I think that having a not-so-good review among all the others is actually ok. After all, we're all entitled to a bad day and we can't possibly click with EVERYONE, right? It just shows that both the reviewer and the provider are human.

MM

QP - I wouldn't frame it as "a beef" - but here are a few points that I want to make clear.  1> This is a review board.  I am sure that anyone who gets a low review would dispute it.  As to being undeserving, you and I WOULDN'T KNOW.  The category of looks is purely subjective.  The category of performance is what happened / WHEN it happened between provider and hobbiest.  It is NOT - let me underline this point NOT what happened between you and the same provider in the past.  Whether the past was 2 days ago or 2 years ago.  So all of this pandering is silly.  Not just to me, but it seems like many others here are getting sick of it too.

Also - As far as 'holding the gun to anyones head'.  Dude - that works both ways.  Nobody is forcing the providers to read their own reveiws.  If a provider is going to be hurt or upset by a negative review, maybe she should consider a.) a new line of work or b.)NOT reading her reviews or c.) updating her pics.  OR d.) being a little more considerate to people.  We all reap what we sow.

"I would like to suggest that the defense of the popular providers and debating their looks, performance and "Good Egg"-ness go somewhere else.  I mean this is ridiculous.  NONE of the other boards have this type of defense."

From the Phoenix board, in a current post...read the second to last paragraph...and it is not the only place I have seen it said.

http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/ViewMsgBody.asp?BoardID=5&Page=1&Messageid=9944

I agree with Que Pasa...there is nothing wrong with camaraderie, and the whole point of a "discussion board" is to allow us "good-egg-ness" types to post our views, as well as people like you.

As I continue to quote, "You'll find there's room for all of us".


-- Modified on 7/1/2004 9:11:05 AM

-- Modified on 7/1/2004 9:11:41 AM

Actually Mr. Self Destruct - I followed the URL but still missed your point - maybe I haven't had enough coffee.  I do like the quote about room for all of us.  The only problem I am having is that any thread that runs contrary to popular opinion gets 'sat on', while yours and a few select others get posted right away.  I think that this form of debate is great and I respect (doesn't mean I agree with), your point of view.  Just don't tie my hands behind my back.

and while it may be a good idea for the ladies to have a board of their own for many other reasons, your reason is just simply because you don't want to hear it! Wrong reason! And TOO BAD!

The point of discussing Jenni's review and Cinder's review is in the FALSEHOODS. While Jenni feels she DID see him, he reported falsely (cbj, for one), and Cinder never did see him - so this guy gets his free days (!) (at the expense of her hurt feelings).

Thank you Mr. SD, and Que Pasa (in particular) because these gentlemen have the RIGHT thinking.

This is a community folks. We can talk baseball, we can talk restaurants and entertainment, and it is shared by whatever is deemed important to ALL it's members.

that the "defense of popular providers" scenario which you said is something that happens on NONE of the other boards does happen on other boards, at least in Phoenix (as that writer said).  I also agreed with Que Pasa that the camaraderie that encourages someone with a differing view to post that view is as valid as the "need for truth" motivation which encourages someone to support a scenario that they don't have personal knowledge about but which sounds like freedom of speech to them.

No post is "sat on" by the moderator or this board (unless it is rejected).  If you are "moderated" (which everyone is when they first begin posting), it takes a while for the posts to go up.  If you are "unmoderated" (which TER staff decide on a case by case basis, based on the individual's posting history, from what I can tell), posts go up immediately.

just to be aware if something negative is ever said about them.

I worked in food service for twelve years, and you should see the howls from restaurants who are reviewed poorly in the SD Union or the Reader.  Not all of them were because the food was bad, and many times there were numerous customers who would write in and contradict the review vociferously.  When a great amount of your business is "public perception", you have to speak out if you feel something is undeserved.

Actually Sedona, you are partly correct in that I don't want to read defense of bad reviews.  The myopic would see it that way.  If you could stand back and not REACT, you may see a bigger picture as to my suggestion.  You may see that I really am trying to help out.  Let me give you and the other providers out there a little more obvious help.  When TER was formed, I am almost positive that attornies advised them NOT to have providers respond to any reviews - after all, as far as I know, all of this review stuff is fiction anyway - isn't that true (wink, wink/nudge, nudge).  So whats the use in defending a story?

There is a disconnect in logic to suggest that a mere post in a thread is even remotely equivalent to a review. That seems to escape our "visitorsfriend"

I honestly don't understand why it is that some people just can't seem to just move on and not bother with reading posts that they find so objectionable that they would suggest that a whole new board should be created so that they won't have their sensibilities offended.

As others have commented this is a "discussion" board, if that is not readily apparent. People are free to express differing viewpoints. Expressing a viewpoint is not the equivalent of etching law into stone. I'm sure not everyone (on some occasions perhaps most) agrees with my viewpoint on whatever the subject at hand may be. So expect some feedback when you post here and expect disagreement, but don't try to self righteously suggest that a whole new board should be created just so you won't be offended "visitorsfriend", without expecting to get feedback that takes a very different point of view.

Perhaps there is some merit in the argument about appearance scores and outdated pictures that may be on some websites. That does not negate the argument that some of the descriptive tags attached to the numerical scores are simply demeaning. I for one would agree that perhaps for the appearance category that a straight numerical score without a descriptive tag might be better.

The narrative in the review is a different matter. As has been discussed in a previous thread the review is not just about numbers. The wording in the review can be crude and denigrating.
If you don't care for the experience with a particular provider then say so, but with some modicum of common decency.

Finally, just because a guy is writing the review doesn't mean that he is beyond reproach. The TER community may be primarily here for the guys, but the women are invited to participate, and that is a good thing. Their interests matter in my view. I'm sure there are occasions where something unpleasant  may occur in a session from the woman's point of view that never sees the light of day. So because some defense of the local ladies is offered in some instances, such as has occurred recently, it does not mean that such defense is without merit, or simply pandering.

Just my 2 cents.

is that they are subjective. They are personal. If I started to get franchise endorsed reviews, I would be out so fast the door would be spinning. If you aren't having fun, you aren't using TER correctly.

Most of the threads related to the reviews are about common sense.  The numbers are one thing but some of the narratives have been nasty.  Gentlemen if the lady appears to be 40 pounds heavier and has a bad complexion that has been retouched on her photo then say exactly that.  Don't say that she looked like a beached whale that had been trampled with golf spikes.  That type of wording appears to be and is just mean.  If you are unhappy about the performance please try to be specific.  If you called to confirm 30 minutes before your appointment and when you arrive she tells you that the menu is limited because it is that time of month say exactly that.  If she asks you at the beginning of the hour appointment if you can go twice and you say yes and then after you pop twenty minutes into the session, she jumps up and throws on her clothes signifying the end of the appointment then just report it as it happens.  Your negative review is the most useful and credible to your fellow hobbyists and to the provider you are reviewing when it sticks to the facts without sounding like you are just a bear with a sore ass.  Also if you are looking for a bbbjtc don't go to a lady whose every review indicates cbj only and then give her a bad review because you did not get what you wanted.  If there was just a lack of chemistry then just say that.  If you really were Rudolph Valentino then you most likely would just be taking your pick of all the civilian ladies fawning all over you.  

Ladies if the review is a phony report it to staff as a phony and try and get it removed. You will probably have more credibility with staff if you ask to have all of the phony reviews removed whether they be good or bad.  If you believe it to be a phony and can't get it removed or if it is just mean spirited you should feel free to discuss it on the discussion boards.  On the other hand the numerical ratings may very from reviewer to reviewer based upon his taste and or experience.  Also if the guy said he did not have a good time even if from just a lack of chemistry why would you expect a stellar rating in the performance area?  If your pictures are old and don't fairly represent you anymore then get new pictures instead of complaining about the reviews and comments.

Hobbyists coming to a provider's defense should be careful and clear about what they say.  If you have not seen her in a year she may have put the 40 pounds on that the reviewer is complaining about.  As to performance you can only say that you had a great time when you saw the lady because you were not there to see what happened between that reviewer and the lady.

In one of the threads it was suggested that you tell the provider during the session or afterwards via email if she was doing something wrong instead of writing a review.  While that sounds good in theory in practice you may not find the provider that receptive to your criticism.  It may be fine to ask her to do this or go slower or faster, etc during your time together but anything else might cause things to get worse instead of better.  Most of us say we are receptive to constructive criticism but in reality most of us are not.  We have a tendency to get defensive when criticized.

Is a seperate board needed to handle complaints about reviews?
Absolutely not.  But as usual things might go smoother if people considered what they put in reviews as well as on the discussion boards.

-- Modified on 7/3/2004 2:04:22 PM

Hah Hah!  Here's your reward for obsessive clicking! A reaction to Sade from "Metaphors" by Octavi Paz

Eroticism and sexuality are independent kingdoms belonging to the same vital universe.  Kingdoms without borders, or with hazy borders, always changing, in constant communication and interpretation, never entirely fixed.  The same act may be erotic or sexual, according to whether it is performed by an animal or a person.  Sexuality is general; eroticism, singular.  Although the roots of eroticism are animal, vital in the richest sense of the word, animal sexuality does not exhaust its content.  Eroticism is sexual desire and something more, and that something is what makes up its essence.  That something feeds on sexuality; it is nature.  And yet, at the same time, it is un-natural.