On their 25th anniversary, a couple rented the same room they stayed in on their wedding night. Just as she had done 25 years earlier, the wife came out of the bathroom nude and asked her husband if he remembered what he was thinking back then. He said, "I was thinking that I wanted to suck your tits dry and screw your brains out." She said "Oh honey, what are you thinking now." He replied, "I was thinking that I did a good job of it."
A son asks his father the differance between theory and reality. The father says "go ask your mom if she would have sex with any man for one million dollars", the son is confused but he goes to his mom and asks her anyway. She says that although it doesnt sound very motherly she would have sex for one million dollars, because she could sent her children to the best schools and take great care of her family. The son goes back to his father and tells him what mom had said, then dad says "go ask your sister the same thing". The boy asks his sister and she also says that she would have sex for one million dollars, stating that she could feed, and help the homeless. Ther boy goes back to his father and tells him of his sisters answer. The father loks at the boy and says Son ...see that is the differance between theory and reality. In theory we are sitting on Two million bucks.... but in Reality, were livn with a couple of prostitutes.
Okay, so not wifey, but . . . .
What is the difference between a bowling ball and a fat chick (or guy)?
If you really really had to, you could eat a bowling ball.
What is the difference between what a girlfriend, a provider, and a wife think about while making love...
A girlfriend thinks "Is he done already?"
A provider thinks "Isn't he done yet?" (of course not the top providers like Mara....)
A wife thinks"Pink.........Pink, I'll think I'll paint the ceiling pink"