A person who owned a small petting zoo with a female ape was concerned because she was experiencing her first heat and was acting very aggressive, frustrated, agitated...So he called one of his friends who wasn't a real bright guy and explained to him the situation and offer him 500.00 to have sex with the ape.  He told the guy that he would like him to have sex with the ape for 500.00.  The guy said to give him a couple of days to think about it.  When they spoke again, he said well, I'll do it but there are 3 conditions.  First, no kissing.  No problem.  Second condition, he didn't want to be responsible for any kids.  Petting zoo man promises that won't be an issue.  Third, the guy said he would need about a week to come up with the 500.00......Bump,bump, ching!