They Usually Do Not Pay 4 VIP, So Can Not Check Whitelists.

See a lady who appreciates your business.

don't let it get to you.  See someone who will accept you.  Then another one, and voila, you have your two active references again and you are ready to satisfy the first lady who rejected you; should you decide to still want to see her, lol.

Very few ladies appear to be newbie friendly, so coupled with all that personal info and 2 references, this only serves to shrink the business?  I don't know.  But there appear to be more and more ladies doing this.

A lot of my favorites have left the biz, and that is nothing to fret about either.  I am not active much either, these days, and usually only see a lady once or twice, so - it could be worse!  

Other options you've already thought about might also work:  using something like 411, or whatever that other reference service is.  And posting here will help, if a lady or two comes to your aid.  

Happy Hunting

ps: I've let my TER vip expire.

I LOVE the white list feature!  It is the best.  All you have to do is exchange a PM with a fella to be sure no one is hitch hiking on his handle.  That's it!  

You are right karatemanr, it isn't rocket science at all!

Jenni

I hear you and actually agree.
I would think that you have enough background to make it safe to say you are an Ok kind of guy
Good hunting ... I hope you find exactly what you need!!
Kissez that make your heart race
Sage Love

I hear ya brother

I have been having the same problem as you for years. I am semi-retired and only see a girl maybe once or twice, then nothing for a while. I am not a memorable guy, so references are difficult. I have even asked ladies to put me on a white list. they say they will and then they don't. I have been in the hobby 14 years and on TER since 1999 or so.

...I've been on TER and some of the other boards for almost 10 years now, but I hobby only a couple times a year. This usually results in my having to jog someone's memory to get a referral.

However, I have to take the providers' side on this one. There's a LOT of risk to them (more than just LE), and I can't blame them for being extra careful. In fact, I prefer it. I want my date to be as comfortable with me when I walk in the door as I am with her.

That said, I have NEVER had to give up my business phone, address, or cell #. Provider references yes (usually one good one is enough), but not all the rest of the stuff you mention.

You might want to get registered on one of the referral services like date-check.com. I just signed up for a free trial and one of my ATFs already confirmed me. I'm hoping to find out soon if it helps in the reference department or not. We'll see...

Thanks to everyone who took the time to post their advised or comments as well as those Ladies who sent PM's to me.  Although I live in the Inland Empire, I've found that the classiest ladies are often from S.D. Looks like I'm going to be sending more time in S.D. than O.C.
Thanks to the hobbiest too that also sent me PM's

as another semi retired hobbiest i feel your pain. i was out of the game for a couple years and now i'm back and it seems like more and more of the ATF's we used to know and love have ridden off into the sunset. unfortunately TER just ain't what it used to be. would love to connect with some of my old favorites soon................guess i'll just need to track them down (sierra reigns, olivia, et al). good luck out there fellow hobbiests as well as to the ladies.