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It isnn't a problem and a smart independent will never need a reference...regular_smile
elegantelise 2685 reads
posted

OK, this is really a dead horse, but the topic comes up over and over and without spelling it out, there are definitely discrete ways to check you out without blowing your cover at work with your receptionist.

There is NO WAY that calling the last lady you saw is discrete.  You have to understand that VICE can use this method to squeeze info out of girls and set people up.  It's just not safe 100% of the time, and the only way to date safely is to be safe 100% of the time.  (Anyways, that's how I think I managed to skate by with my only dating incident being a drunk nasty man that was unruly and rude)

Bottom line, girls, don't date a guy unless you trust that you know exactly who he is, and guys, don't date a girl unless you feel you can trust that you can give her information and she'll be discrete with it.

xo and still lurking,
Elise [email protected]

modernlover3321 reads

With some providers asking for personal and professional information now, the perception is that everyone must be an employee of some corporation who can be verified easily in a unnoticed manner.

But that just isn't the case in every situation. What becomes of the hobbyist who works in a small company enviornment where a "significant other" answers the front desk phone? (Talk about an immediate 3rd degree!) Or where a hobbyist owns his own business and a smart receptionist is schooled to screen calls for him, too. Or what about the self-employed who have no official office and are their own boss (like an actor, contractor, independent saleman)? Or the guy who may have just been laid off and is on his own (but has saved well for rainy days)?

There are other such problematic situations as well, so I've found that this kind of screening format has actually kept me from contacting new providers (despite many past date references who'll gladly vouch for me). Of course, the girls' safety is truly important, but there has to be an alternative method for trust. This may be a case of one size doesn't fit all.

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rb12371 reads

The girls have several ways they can screen without calling your work, even if they ask for that info.  You can always let them know why callng work isnt' good or why you can't be reached at work.  Such as you have voice mail, but not a phone/desk that you work at.

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otaku1686 reads

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MIKE10102004 reads

That of a family business.  I don't think he said he would let himself be verified that way if he is in that situation.  I have one that he didn't bring up.  I work for one of the most profitable companies in the world.  They didn't become that way by wasting money on offices for people to work out of when they spend most of their time out of the office anyway.  I work out of my home when I am not traveling.  Therefore, I have no office where one could call a receptionist and be transferred to me.  My boss doesn't even live in the same time zone I live in.  

My way for getting around that is to provide all of the information a lady asks for and explain my work situation.  Thankfully, most ladies are fairly reasonable and will accept things like sending them an email from my work email or other creative ways to verify that I work for whom I say I do.  

The ladies that won't make a single exception are just ones I miss out on.  There are plenty of ladies who are a bit more flexible if you can provide 99% of what they want and willing to work with you on a small exception.  At least that is my experience.

-- Modified on 12/1/2005 5:55:12 PM

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modernlover1963 reads

A hobbyist friend of mine has confided that he has a pro athlete friend who frequents the ladies under a psuedo name. While he is only an average player in his sport--by no means a star--apparently the player feels he risks much if he fully IDs himself.

I think that point is well taken, given even the slightest chance the info of a public figure could easily boomerang. It's been done many times you know, and we read about these things every season. (Anyone remember the Atlanta Gold Club stripper scandal of NBA stars)?

Just a passing thought: if seeing a lady for fun begins to morph into a job interview process, that may do more to squelch the higher end hobbyist than anything LE ever tried.

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visitorsfriend1356 reads

Otaku - shame on you.  You must realize that some of us cant have any personal calls coming in to do any type of verification.  Some people work in environments where screening just doesnt werk.

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VisitorsFiend2337 reads

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Jai2756 reads

or you join Date-check.com and avoid the work phone issue. Hope that helps. OXOX,
Jai

Related Link: http://www.heavenlyone.com/updates.htm

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karatemanr2200 reads

In fact I was turned down by an agency (no longer in business) because I was self employed. At the time I had over 30 reviews posted. I suggested that they accept a referral from another well know provider, but they refused. SO FUCK THEM, they lost my business and I spend about $8,000. a yr on this hobby.
There are too many good independents who will check you out with another provider and not make you give them all kinds of sensative info.

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elegantelise2686 reads

OK, this is really a dead horse, but the topic comes up over and over and without spelling it out, there are definitely discrete ways to check you out without blowing your cover at work with your receptionist.

There is NO WAY that calling the last lady you saw is discrete.  You have to understand that VICE can use this method to squeeze info out of girls and set people up.  It's just not safe 100% of the time, and the only way to date safely is to be safe 100% of the time.  (Anyways, that's how I think I managed to skate by with my only dating incident being a drunk nasty man that was unruly and rude)

Bottom line, girls, don't date a guy unless you trust that you know exactly who he is, and guys, don't date a girl unless you feel you can trust that you can give her information and she'll be discrete with it.

xo and still lurking,
Elise [email protected]

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