In recent searches for new SoCal talent, I came across providers who left connections to their real worlds in their fantasy world ads.  With the use of rudimentary techniques it didn't take long to identify their real world names, towns of residence, and other info about them.  True, I haven't always been tight lipped about my real world identity but my revelations to ladies have occurred face to face not via internet searches before meeting in person.

What do you feel is the comfortable distance between your real world and this hobby world?

This to me applies to ladies who show it all: tattoos, face, breasts... Leaves zero room for plausible deniability to anyone who might make the connections... There is a great book every person on this forum should read: How to be Invisible. It's very useful to keep your identity safe and has a lot of tips for online activities. Not related to the hobby but it's info that can be used with this too.

I suggest contacting the people who you notice this with - they may not be aware.

They would probably be really scared if they knew their info was attainable through a few clicks

I have contacted the ladies with how I made the connection.  The info linking them to their real lives remains available and one of them seemed angered that I had done any investigating.  btw, as I mentioned, the ladies are new to the business.

END OF MESSAGE

I've basically created a different ID for when I hobby.  I have a separate phone number and a fake email address that matches my fake name.  I will never see a provider who needs to verify me through my job.  I've gotten fairly close to a few providers and they all thought they knew my real info.  They didn't.  I'm sure they were doing the same to me.  

I know this sounds really creepy, but it is what it is.  I don't expect the providers to reveal their true identity, so why should we?

I can understand why the provider you advised of this got angry with you. Why were you concerned with investigating to learn their personal information??? Sounds sort of creepy to me.

I don't use my real name, but I suspect if people "investigate" me they can figure it out, and it's not a big deal to me.

If someone asks me my real name, I tell them.  But I prefer to be called Freya.  If someone calls me my real name who I know from the hobby, it confuses me for a second.  I feel like I've mistaken someone for someone else.

I probably also have my real name on some of the photos I use and associated with one of my emails that I might accidentally use once in a while...it doesn't matter to me.

But, in the beginning, it did.  I was very afraid someone from my real life would find out.  Then, I became more comfortable with it.  I told more people.  Now, I don't ever lie about it, but I don't volunteer the information.  When someone asks what I do for a living, I tell them.  

I'm serious when I say I feel comfortable with what I do.  It makes me happy and I'm not ashamed.

I take my reference checking very seriously, though.

-- Modified on 9/13/2015 3:41:43 PM

It depends.  
Read Freya's post. Her family and friends know what she does. She has nothing to lose, is a professional and treats this as a business in which she is successful. Some ladies are not and may never be in that position so they should take measures to protect their privacy. For us hobbyists? I think the more discreet the better. Especially if you're married. Young and single? Be careful. Being outed could have a negative impact on several aspects of your life later on. Bottom line though, we should all play it safe.

I have a couple of friends who have kids and ex-husbands who have all kinds of problems because of this work.  I'm sure they feel comfortable with what they do, too.  But to be open about it would be devastating.  Too bad the rest of the country isn't as liberal as we who are in the hobby tend to be.

I am truly entertained by some of these responses.  I wonder if staying invisible includes going to MEET and GREETS?  Sorry - not judging here.  Just wondering how that is being invisible ...

Teehee

Namaste!

A few words on investigate.  In doing an image search on some of the photos posted in the providers' ads, not all ladies use their own photos as you do, the matches included the providers' real world iphonegram account, etc.  I notified the ladies of this connnection.  My bad!

It's called basic research. Google the photos. Google the phone number. If there are photographer credits on the pic, google that too. Not creepy. If you're shopping for someone with few or no reviews it's the only way to lower your chance of a big disappointment. Via the methods mentioned above, On rare occasion, I've found unblurred versions of pics, facebook pages, posted yelp reviews, "for sale" on Craigslist ads.