I have been in the hobby since the early to mid 90's and recently, I find myself not really being into it as much as I use to be. For many years, I would buy swing and go after what looked best and had the greatest possibility of providing FS. I began to see more providers with greater success after getting on the net. I always looked forward to some free time so I could make an appointment with whatever girl I had seen an ad for. I mean, I was as horny as ever. I guess I liked the thrill of the hunt. The thought of seeing the next girl was constantly on my mind.
Now though, I usually only see a provider out of boredom. Maybe if I am in the South Bay and have some free time, I will call from a list and see who is available. If I get no call backs or no girls answer, It doesn't bother me like it use to. Also, I'm not looking as hard as I once did. I just don't get any real thrill out of it. I feel burned out.
Have any of you guys gone through the same thing? If so, what eventually happened? Did you get the spark back? Even though I have had little interest in the sex part, I still find myself searching for what is out there. I still sometimes see a girls and think," Hey, I want to try some of that". But, I don't act on it as often as I once did. Any thoughts?
Sorry I was so long winded.
Yes... I've been doing this since the late 80's and what you say reflects my feelings also. With the combo of LE making life in the "hobby" major risk and the continued increase in the cost of participating, I have turned to the fbsm as a larger part of me partaking. I still read the boards every day and check out the escort websites, I just don't don't make the calls.
I too have seen the cost of hobbying escalate and service decline over the past 20 years. Those of us with good memories, remember how it once was. Now, we think twice before laying out the $$. I have had some really great times in the past. Now, I seem more often disappointed rather than pleased. Perhaps it is because I am comparing each provider with the best that I have had and wish that they were her. None have come close and probably never will.
For the longest time, I did just that. I kept looking for a provider that would be better than my first. I finally met a girl that did. Please understand that it's not a matter of money, or how current providers look or perform as opposed to the ones that I saw when I was still going strong. I just no longer mentally crave the encounters the way I once did.
Also, my last 2 experiences were so bad, that I opted to not even post reviews. Yes! They were that bad. LOL.
You guys have me worried.
I've only been in the hobby about two years so I can't really lend much to this thread.
I guess I just hope that the joy and pleasure of this hobby lasts as long as it can. When it goes away, then I guess it will be time to move on to something else, like skydiving or maybe deep sea scuba diving.
BKMan
i sort of know what you are talking about. i'm always looking and thinking about seeing girls but, i have been some what, if not totally disapointed with the girls i've seen and i dont' think it is them...
the last good session i had was on a visit to SF about a year ago.
the girls i've seen have been great girls and been honest but something has been missing i feel and it is i fear something missing in me...
so for now i will try to find a girl who can excite me like before. i just dont think she will be in SD... such is life.
I can not BELIEVE what I have been reading here.
A series of the most pathetic, limp, impotent soliloquies from the ultimate lonely hearts club.
If any of you really think you're going to gain fulfillment from your "hobbying", you're complete idiots. Morons. The only guy on this thread who MAY see the light is backdoorgold. Maybe something IS missing in you after all!! You guys need Prozac, 'cause the Viagra obviously isn't working anymore.
For God's sake, don't blame the PROVIDERS. They're the ones who have to put up with the sad sacks like you all.
I guess I am a member of this club as well. I have been in this hobby for about 17 years and my interest has really fell off over the last year. I think that the thrill dissipates even though it may be with new women all the time. Part of it might be there is not as much thrill as over time we get comfortable with the procedure and may not think it is that risky. With sites like TER where you can eliminate bad appointments, but you also know how the session will basically go.
I have always preferred to see the same one or two providers many times. My interest was as much, if not more, the social interaction as the sexual. After a period of time I would always feel down afterwards and question the expenditure. Paying for someone to talk to seemed pathetic. The fees have gone up and the level of service has remained the same and in many cases been barely acceptable.
Yes there were a few that were incredible providers in the past, but you cannot compare each providers to your best. They are all different and each may bring something special. With me it just does not bring the same thrill. Lately, I was doing it more out of habit than desire or need. Hard to believe that we sound like a bunch of married guys and talking about their wifes.
I will add that the discussion here has been quite interesting (from the point of an out-of-towner). I agree that the general service/price ratio appears to me to be trending downward, thus, causing progressive loss of enthusiasm. Also, continually providing screening info is rather tedious, and with LE activity, i fear this will only get worse. With plans to visit your fair city, I emailed several providers in SD, my overall response rate was less than 50%. With that in mind, i feel rather disinclined to provide sensitive personal information - i can't get by the feeling of having to "sell myself" to acquire a service of uncertain quality.
Or, maybe waning serum testosterone levels (with advancing age) are to blame. I guess when i reach for Reader's Digest instead of Playboy, i will know its time to retire.
i have been experiencing the same phenomena....what I have found to perk me up is to see providers when out of town on business....try new orleans, vancouver or seattle for example..you get way more for your dollar and seeing a young new pretty face will always brighten up yor day....San Diego is too overpriced and has way too much LE activity...i particularly like the brothels in vancouver..LE doesnt care about it and with the exchange rate in your favor it is great!!!!
And if you can't get away, try some of the lovely Canadian ladies that have made their way here. That will put some perspective back into your life!
Doc,
Yours is the best post that I have ever read on these boards. I can't find one iota of bullshit in your discourse.
I can only offer one thing for you to consider. The anticipation (of the unknown)that we experience in this hobby is addicting.
Remember your first rollercoaster ride?
We find ourselves
slowly cluncking up a high and steep mountain eagerly yearning to experience the exhiliration that finally drenches us, quenching our raw dry thirst with all the intensity that "nature taken to its envelope" can afford. You've been on the same ride for too long. There is no unkown so there is no anticipation thus no thrill(or just less thrill). You can't enjoy the ride as much, once you've learned to control it. Remember when you got your driver's license? Not the same anymore?
At a glance, I'd say you have not ridden enough rollercoasters, however, wisdom tells me that you should submit to a more dominating ride.
If you've been at it so long, why do you only have 3 reviews?
Thank you for sharing your feelings,
TBS
First off, I want to thank most of the hobbysists who responded to this post. I emailed him via TER and let he now knows why I currently have 3 reviews to my credit. I would prefer not to air dirty laundry on a public board.
I think some of the guys are missing my point. It has nothing to do with money. I could care less about the cost, as long as the service is good. One hobbyist mentioned that we had similar habits in looking for providers. I also got burned out on swing. It's possible that I am getting burned out here also. I have been on TER for about 2 and a half years.
When I first found TER, I was checking it several times a day. I would look at the discussion board, the reviews, reviews for providers in places I was going to visit and so on. About 2 or 3 months ago, I just really backed off on how often I checked the boards and the reviews. I just had little to no interest it seemed.
While I would love to respond to xraydoc's post, I lack the ability to lower myself to his level. Although, I would like to let him know that I do not require viagra, or any other medication for that matter.
Once again, thanks to the many that have offered some great food for thought.
Note to moderator; I thought that verbal attack such as that of xraydoc were not allowed on this board. I could be wrong, but I thought that there were some guidelines posted at the top of the page. Are the rules not strictly enforced on this board?
Hey Doc, I just wanted to thank you and the other posters as to your respective thoughts and feelings in this regard. As a "newbie," I am still hunting through the boards with enthusiasum as may have. It is actually ironic, as it is with the same amount of enthusiasum I had when I first ventured into my job. Although I am still asked from time to time to slay a giant or two, my heart isn't into to it like it used to be many years ago. This is made more difficult since there is always the young turk who would gladly stick you in the back to take over your turf. All I can offer to you is that this may a phase we all go through in our lives. I think some of the posters may be right that a change of scenery or a brief respite from the hobby might help. After all, it is a matter of perspective. I wish you the best...
I agree with what you and many have said. I think I just need to take a break. I also believe that I may have peter pan syndrome. When I was in my teens, I started several hobbies, target shooting being one of them. I really got into it. Made my own ammo and all that other crap. Eventually, due to raising a family, I didn't go shooting for 5+ years. In just the past year though, I have found a range just around the corner and do enjoy the occasional trip to plink when possible. I have even considered pulling out the reloader and starting with that again, but at a more reasonable pace. I use to load far more than I could shoot. But now, I will take it slow and only load what is needed.
The same thing happened when I was into restoring old muscle cars. In 3 years, I restored a '70 W-31 and a '67 Chevelle. By the time I was done with them, I was so burned out, that I almost cringed at changing my own oil. I use to love doing the body work and rebuilding the engines. Now, I almost can't stand the thought of it.
I think I need to do the same with this hobby. Only participate on a scaled back level than before.
There was a time when I would see 2 or more providers a month. Now, I may just see 1 every few months.
Sorry to babble again. Just wanted to thank all of those with educated responses.
Dude, reloading? I remember those days! Man, we used to be into that big time. Lots of fun. Like you, it's been years since I touched the reloader, but the range in Claremont Mesa has me shootin' a little again.
Though I gotta admit, this hobby is more "satisfying" than that one, though in a different way.
BKMan
BKMan, I guess it just depends on what you are shooting!! One across the kisser has always pleased me!!
"Verbal Attack"? Please. My response was simply something that struck a nerve with you and you didn't want to hear it. There was nothing obscene or offensive in my post.
p.s. the comment about Viagra was intended as sarcasm. I know you would never need it.
I've been saying this for some time, though I do NOT know how it was here a few years back.
I can afford all price levels, but I resent paying $$$-$k for this activity, especially when the ladies look average at best, let alone poor service. Like the real estate pricing, I have a hard time accepting that a 500 sq.ft apartment in a so-so part of town sells for 300-400 per sq. foot....
If the bubble does burst (which it DEFINITELY will in real estate), will provider pricing follow?
now do you really expect to enjoy something you start out resenting? that
's a true kick uin the freakin pants.
Ness brings up an interesting connection between housing prices and escort or, more broadly, discretionary spending that is holding up the economy.
Already we have had a massive bubble burst in the stock markets, with the loss of > $6 trillion in paper losses. The steep increase in escort prices seemed to parallel the inflation of the stock market bubble - yet, when the bubble burst, nominal (advertised) escort prices have remained high. Possibly they were being sustained with "cheap" money provided by loans secured by the ever increasing equity of home prices. Nowhere in the country has there been more inflation in home prices than in San Diego County.
The mantra that has been chanted by our financial gurus is that there is no way there could be a housing price "bubble." The evidence that is usually cited includes strong demand, limited supply, low interest rates etc. Anyone who has been in San Diego, though, for the past twenty years knows full well that there can be prolonged flat or down periods in housing prices. If the economy moves to a deeper recession with commensurately higher unemployment, then housing prices may fall endangering all of those who have taken out 2nd mortgages and equity loans. Certainly, with the huge Cal State budget deficits, there will be deep cuts in state, county and city staffing. Alternatively, any increases in interest rates may force some with variable-rate mortgages to liquidate.
At any rate, if the overall economy does continue to stagnate and housing prices fall, I would imagine that all discretionary purchases (including escort prices) will necessarily fall as suggested by Ness. Already, we are close to a banking deflation, with money market accounts bearing interest rates at record lows.
My principal point is this: money doesn't grow on trees, and you can't sustain an economy solely on rising housing prices (see Japan circa mid '90's).
doc, i've also been around for years and before ter i used swinger for contacts also. before i stumbled on ter last year i was getting burnt out with swinger. ter put some new life in me with all the choices and of course eliminated alot of disappointments. soon though i found myself becoming burnt out again and only on rare occassions ventured out with a provider. i seldom post reviews, not that i did before, but now i only do it if the provider continually asks. most importantly i wasn't having fun with the provider. i thought perhaps my sexual drive was diminishing with age and started to accept that logic.
until a few months ago while away i started hanging out at old haunts and soon started meeting women. before i knew it the chase was on. my sexual prowess was back. i realized it was the chase i was missing. providers are a sure thing no mystery, no intrigue. i think after awhile it becomes a routine which translates to boredom. of course it eventually ends up costing alot more, but god it's good to know it wasn't old age surpressing my sexual urge.
just my fictional account of my .02 - hope it shines some light............
-- Modified on 3/27/2003 11:02:43 AM
Well, Son, it is called growing up! Now, find someone you really love, and make love ...
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