Recently someone posted a warning about me with a reference to ST and also to gentleman something. These are not their actual handles. I want to let anyone who's curious about what really happened to know and I want to defend my reputation.
I saw ST one time when I was in LA. He had a ton of reviews. He seemed to be a nice guy. When the appointment was over he stayed an entire hour past his time to leave. I was in a hotel and I needed to check out by 12 o'clock. I was not packed. His appointment ended at 11 o'clock and I need to leave by 12. I had maids knocking on the door asking if I was out multiple times I took him his clothes, I told him I need to go multiple times, I walked him the door and he kept stalling.
This was no big deal. I made a note of it. If I would've seen him again I would've said "keep an eye on the time". He was not blacklisted by me on my own personal contact list or on any other list. This is my personal policy when someone stays too long the first time they come.
Over the next year I might have been contacted by three people for a reference from him. I said what I always said, "yes I have seen him and I would see him again", followed by, "but keep an eye on the time because he stayed an entire extra hour without covering any of the time or giving me a tip".
One of the providers I gave a reference like this to sent him my email. I don't remember who she was. Sometimes I wonder if she has any idea how much trouble she caused by not keeping my reference confidential.
I didn't realize there was a problem until I sent him a notification, along with the rest of my Los Angeles contacts telling him that I would be visiting LA if he wanted to book an appointment. He said, "Are you kidding me? I will never see you again", and he sent me a link to his "freya is a snake in the garden of Eden" blog.
When I read it I emailed him back and I said (paraphrased) "I'm sorry. I obviously have really hurt your feelings. First of all there's no way I have ruined your reputation in this hobby. You have a bunch of reviews and I've given you like three references". I told him that I agreed with him that I should've mentioned to him that I was going to say something about the time he went over on before giving a reference. I tried to assure him that if somebody told me they saw a client and they would see him again but he went over on time I would still see that client.
I Felt really bad because it was obvious that he placed a lot of importance on his reputation and I had hurt him. I was sincerely sorry. He seemed like a vulnerable guy to have been this upset by what had happened and I did not want to hurt anybody.
Now I know he wasn't just vulnerable. He was unstable.
He was convinced that I had given a reference to all of the ladies (he said 20 or so I think) he gave my name to and that certainly was not the case. He was convinced that I had ruined his reputation in the hobby and he told me that he would not forgive me in fact he was going to make every effort to ruin my reputation as I had ruined his, even though he knew it would be his "hobby suicide".
To that I responded, "Whatever. You need to accept at least part of the blame, here. You are an experienced hobbyist and you should know not to go over a whole hour on time. I was telling you the whole time that I needed to leave. I told those ladies I would see you again, and I only remember 3 of them ever actually contacting me for reference".
For more than a year following this encounter he posted fake reviews (multiple times) for me on every site that excepts reviews using different names and saying similar things. One site will not remove the review. It's still there. Every time I put A post on TER he would post his link to his "freya is a snake in the grass" blog.
I was not very active on the boards and I did not realize he was doing this for a really long time. When I did realize it he would be sneaky and wait several days after I posted to post this link so I didn't catch him often. I reported him to TER and in spite of their warnings he would not stop harassing me.
I suppose he eventually was kicked off TER for this. Trying to ruin my reputation truly was his hobby suicide. I think he was a scary individual who had a very unrealistic and disproportionate view of how my a few references had affected him.
If you guys actually read the blog (and obviously some people have), you should have noticed that it was very vague. It never said what I did. Only that I told everyone what a bad person he is.
Sample taster's actions went way beyond normal angry and hurt behavior, and became an obsessive desire to ruin me for a perceived wrong that was eventually the ruin of him. I was truly scared for my safety. I still am, to be honest.
There was also a reference to gentleman something or other (not the real handle). I think I know who this person was talking about now. I won't mention his actual name, but I should, and anyone who wants to know it can contact me.
This was another person with a bunch of reviews. He booked two hours with me. Twice during our correspondence prior to our meeting he asked me to leave him extra time because he wanted to extend the session if he could. When we met, he asked if he could stay longer when his time was up. I said of course. We spent the entire extra hour f_ing. It wasn't like we were chatting for a few minutes.
When he was leaving I asked for the money and he said it was taken care of, in the bathroom. I asked if he paid for all of the time, he said "Yes". When I counted the money, he paid only for the two hours. I contacted him right away, and he said he would not pay for the additional hour because it was not what we agreed upon, and he thought I wanted him to stay off of the clock.
I sent a pm to all of the ladies he had written a review for and told them what happened. Most were supportive. Several said he did the same thing to them. One lady said it was my fault for not insisting on getting the money at time we extended the session, and I agree, and now I do because of this. I also should have counted the money before he left. This was like 5 years ago. I know more now. But obviously, people know about this! In the end the guy paid me for the extra hour. Big deal. That doesn't begin to make up for the insult he paid me by not paying in the first place. He thought he could get away with it. It was OBVIOUS that he set me up for this and he had done this to others! Now this guy has TONS of reviews and whitelistings.
If this were to happen again, I would know how to protect myself. I can't say I'd do it again, because, thanks to him I know better than to let myself possibly be ripped off even by someone with a bunch of review and whitelistings. But I do not regret my actions at that time.
I know this is a long post. Sorry. But, when I read that warning about me a few posts down, there were three "likes".
It seems like there are people who think I'm vindictive or untrustworthy because of these two guys and I wanted to have a chance to tell my side of the story.
3 people "liked" it