If a girl is polite, nice, provides good service, etc.... Why do guys complain if a girl counts the money first?
One question:
Wouldn't you ?
Probably because they did not put the full donation in the envelope..............thats why!
I think you can be descrete about counting your money ..........
mara
Sorry, but I just had to laugh when I saw this. Providers are quick to complain when a hobbyist accidently shorts them on the donation, but how many providers would return money to a hobbyist if they accidently overcharged them? I know from bitter personal experience that Mara would not do so under any circumstances. Of course, since the TER slogan seems to have become "the customer is always wrong", I will no doubt receive numerous flames for saying this.
I think it is an issue of trust. The gentleman may feel uncomfortable that a lady doesn't trust him if she counts the money first. Unfortunately, many ladies have been "ripped off" after trusting someone and feel safer counting the money prior to the engagement.
Just my two cents!
Call me weird but how can either party *expect* trust in a situation like that? I expect the opposite. I've had $ pulled out of my pocket while washing up in the bathroom after. I smiled, and asked for it back. I just think a lot of guys need to come back to reality here. You're not interacting with a lover who has any emotional attachment to you.
I think a provider should at least glance at what was given to her. It is not unheard of for someone to rip a provider off like this. Just ask poor Joi in Temecula.
It would take about one second for both parties to forget about the "transaction" part of things, if the chemistry is right, so WTF. Only with repeats would I say checking isn't warranted.
I was given a sealed envelope with five folded sheets of white paper and a small folded piece of yellow paper in it, but nothing that looked green at all. I got lucky and caught the rip off artist before.... but that was ONCE and I'm a fast learner! Ladies, PM me for details if you wish.
that a lady would prefer not to take such a tacky step, even though there is good reason.
By letting her know the envelope is on the bathroom counter (or some other place), she can go to use the restroom (I'm sure she will at least once during their time), count it while she's in there (if she chooses).
This is a wonderful solution.
we don't want to appear business like. On the other end of the spectrum, I wonder how the guys feel who wind up getting shorted a little because we haven't counted and don't know they should receive something back. Do they think we're tacky? On my end it all seems to even out in the end.
Seems to me we've seen postings from several providers about getting ripped off (Diane and Karen as I recall) in the last few months. In Karen's case I think one of the culprits was even a long time client.
I'd like to think that my inherent trustworthiness oozes from my pores in some sort of eminently noticeable way, but as long as there are Jerks like that out there, it seems silly for the rest of us to complain.
I count the money when I get change in the supermarket, and when I go to my bank. I have no problem whatsoever with the lady counting the money. Last time I was with someone, I gave her a bit extra to cover the fact that she was travelling out of her way to see me. She mentioned that I gave her too much and offerred to give it back. I said no thanks, it was for travel time and effort. I think that she made it up in service, which was even better than the 2 previous times I saw her.
The fact is, the only reason a lady SHOULDN'T count it is if she wants to make sure that it's not obvious that she's doing anything illegal in exchange for money. If her screening is such that she's sure counting it won't put her at risk, by all means count it. You'd count it when your bank teller gives it to you, why not when your client gives it to you?
I dont like it at all. I makes me feel like we have not established a rapport at all, and this is going to be a mechanical session. I am sure ladies get ripped off. But I am a gentleman and if they can't see that after taling with me for 15-20 minutes, then they're not looking at all beyond the money.
My practice is that if the girl asks for the $ upfront, she gets exactly her rate. If she does not mention it at all until after (and it is a reasonable session), she gets a $100 tip. If she really worked at it, another $100.
I actually show to the provider,especially if she and I haven't met before. I think it puts her at ease and can then build a little trust. I lot of times after you have seen them, they just say wait until after. But as has been said, there are some jackasses that try to ripoff the providers. So go figure, so if she counts, so what.
good point about the first time
Although, (as some of you may know,) not an avid hobbyist, I had paid some attention to this same topic here on the boards before I first took the "plunge". The "M.O." I adopted then and still use when I do have the pleasure of a provider's company is to discreetly place an envelope in plain view and ask if I may take a shower to freshen up. I believe it's a courtesy to freshen up plus I never put myself through the "psychological turmoil" of witnessing her count the money. She can chose to or not to and none is the wiser. The exception, of course, would be Diana's famous jar. (Incidentally, the first time I visited her,I DID include a little extra to Diana who, when seeing her again the second and last time, never acknowledged, never showed any gratitude, no appreciation, received the same guarded, unemotional, uneventful hour as the first time and kept the hour on the hour...not a SECOND longer. But as they say "YMMV".
Given her pages and pages of positive reviews, "I" must have been the factor here.)
I usually put the money in an unsealed envelope with the lady's name on it. As soon as she is in I point it out to her and let her do with it what she wants. I really don't mind if they count it because I would feel bad if I shorted them. One time I did (shorted her a 20) and gladly gave her what she was due. On the other hand, I had a lady count it after we were done and tell me I had given her too much (new bills stuck together). I enjoyed myself very much with her and asked her to keep it. So if both people are honest, it can work both ways.
I don't mind if she counts it first, but I don't really want to be there with her while she does it. Why? It takes away from the fantasy factor. My favorite it to leave it in a card on a counter or nightstand. Suzanne was the first I had use this method and it worked wonderfully. She asked me to put my envelope on the counter and then escorted me to the other room. We got comfortable and made some small "talk", she excused herself briefly, and came back smiling. I know other girls do similar things and I think its a classy way which allows the fantasy factor to stay up there.
I prefer doing the money afterwards. I know it can be risky for the girl, but so can money upfront for both. Ask girls who have been busted and you will find that money has always been shown or a part of the conversation before any fun stuff. I have had girls ask for money upfront and played stupid. Why? Even if a girl has great reviews, remember the busts in Arizona. LE took over the girls business and continued to make appointments. If you had never visited her before and weren't sure what she looked like, you were busted.
-- Modified on 1/23/2004 6:03:07 PM
Count it in front of her and then hand it to her while saying "Can you hold this for a second?"
After she takes it, smile, take off your shoes,and undo your trousers.
I agree that is does detract from the fantasy factor. But I fully understand why providers feel it is necessary. Personally I suggest putting the money in plain view of the provider before the session starts.
One of the things I really like about TJ providers is they never ask to be paid until the session is over. I've had TJ Internet providers tell me they have never had a problem with hobbyists not paying. Too bad the same isn't ture this side of the border.
at the end of the session. Just to make sure I didn't miscount in my hurry or excitement. As others heve pointed out, we don't expect the teller or grocery clerk to get offended because we count our change. For that matter, the sane among us don't get offended when any merchant counts our payment.
Having said that, some of the suggestions for counting discreetly out of sight of the client are really good.
Naturally, with long time regulars this, along with lots of other things, is different.