Must be a weekend coming up...............

A man is golfing with his wife and hooks a drive behind a barn.  He paces around trying to figure out how to save par.  His wife says "Honey, why don't I just go over and hold the barn door open and you can hit straight to the green?"  Well, he tries it but nails her right in the head and kills her instantly.

Years later on the same course with his new wife, he hits an almost identical tee shot.  While he paces around, his new wife makes the same suggestion about holding the barn door open.  He says "No thanks, the last time I tried that I took an 11 on the hole!"

And while we're at it...........

Two golfers rush from the green in their cart, driving several holes ahead to find a doctor playing in front of them.  Breathlessly they explain that their female partner was bitten by a rattlesnake.  "Where was she bitten?" the doctor asks.  "Between the first and second holes", they say.  The doctor says "Well, for one thing, her stance is too wide!"

And yet another..............

A grandfather, father and son have just teed off as a threesome and are about to head down the fairway when the starter calls out "Hold on guys, I have a fourth joining you."  Down to the tee strolls an incredibly beautiful woman, dressed to the nines.  Although the men are expecting her to have no swing at all, she proceeds to play from the blue tees and stripes a ball far down the fairway, amazing them all.  She proceeds to play a wonderful round of golf, reaching the 18th green needing only to make a 10 foot putt to shoot even par 72.  She says to the men "Gentlemen, I want to thank you so much for being so polite and not offering unwanted advice during our round.  This is my first chance to shoot an even par 72, and if any one of you can help me make this putt, I'll give you the best nite of sex you've ever had!"  So the son approaches, studies the putt, and says, "Lady, all you need to do is aim three feet right and let the ball die in the hole."  The father steps up and says "Don't be so timid, aim two feet to the right and hit it firmly."  Hearing this, the grandfather steps up and says "It's obvious my son and grandson have learned nothing from me over the years."  He bends over, picks the ball up and tells the woman "It's good."