With such a great reputation I'm sure it would be impossible for Ashley to see everyone who wants to see her when she's in town so it doesn't surprise me to see the thread about her below. I almost posted there but didn't want to hijack that thread with my own agenda.
I don't think you guys realize that as perfect and patient and deserving as you all are of our basic courtesy and time there is only so much we can do and there are bound to be some gliches and oversights.
The volume of interest a well known and reviewed touring provider can generate is intense and occasionally someone falls throughs the cracks. The amount of voice and e-mail one can receive would astound you. This is an unpredictable lifestyle and our circumstances can change wildly in short periods of time.
It's hard to keep on top of everything especially while you are touring and it's also hard to say "no." That gets me into trouble sometimes because I agree to do more than I am able to. This is not a typical business that we can easily expand as demand for our time and services increase and learning how to manage it is not as easy as you might think. Sure, we screw up sometimes.
I understand the frustration of being stood up. It sucks. But, I'm wondering what kind of satisfaction is derived from posting about it. Warning your fellow hobbyist is one thing but do you consider before posting the damage you might do to somebody's livliehood and whether or not your gripe is worth hurting that? And do the complaints really hurt us or change anything? Financially? Emotionally? I'm not answering my own question. I'm genuinely curious.
LJ,
Well said. I really appreciated your posted because some guys just don't get it. Providers do receive a large number of emails or phone calls if she has a good reputation and like you said, no one is perfect so sometimes, there is a screw up. There is no reason to trash a provider, just because she did not return your call or email.
Your points are well taken and I believe accurate. Will someone like Ashley suffer as a result of the thread below? Not a chance, I know for a fact that she has more client requests than she can possibly handle everytime she comes to town. Her reviews speak for themselves, she will always be extremely popular becuase of the the quality of the experience she provides.
What these types of comments do due is to hurt her feelings, like many of the better quality providers in town Ashley takes a great deal of pride in being a professional at what she does. I believe she is uncomfortable anytime she feels that a client has had less than a stellar experience with her. While being stoodup is a pain and an inconveinence, it's not the same as being ripped off. Mistakes will happen, but I suspect that providers get stood up far more often than good clients do.
I truly think a bonafide mistake is a mistake. When either a provider or hobbiest makes a mistake as such, then it's nice to get a sincere appology with an explanation. In the case of Ashley, she seems sweet, offered an explanation, was respectful and appologized. ON THE FLIP SIDE - I have seen a provider or two (specifically on this board), take the opposite tact. Saying; "I make NO appologies for xyz". or "I am cancelling because I don't like your latest set of comments on the discussion board / email / whatever". The other thing is when a mistake is recurring. Then is it really a mistake or a provider just being really unorganized. Anyhow, Ashley if you read this - you truley had class and showed respect. Very commendable. Maybe others who live here will take a lesson from you.
YOU JUST DON'T SEEM TO GET IT! "Didn't like your comments?"
Can you not read, VF? Sexually suggestive comments. Sexually suggestive. NOT TOLERATED. That's a period.
Turns out Asian Ashley was cautious as well when she saw an email address that didn't match up with the one that she'd been receiving emails from. ALL of the ladies here that are SMART have Cautious Attitudes. Lovely Asian Ashley included.
If she wasn't cautious she would have answered the email address that was foreign to her and followed through with the date that had already been set.
She's to be applauded for keeping her wits about her, and being careful rather than going for the easy $. Once it was sorted out, of course she's going to reschedule, Rumple didn't do anything out of the ordinary or ungentlemanly... he even posted his MEA CULPA for all to see. GOOD MAN.
I applaud Rumple for writing back and being HONEST about that he received the call and why it was received late. Too bad my guy wasn't so upstanding about the TRUE story and about the wording of his email to me. I'm not going to OUT him and write here the words that he used that I felt were so inappropriate so, unless he is forthright and comes correct with all of you about not only the fact that he lost nothing other than a date with me and that he truly did cross the line with the wording of his email, you've only got MY word about his upset.
Also, what you don't know about my story is that I was instructed that email wasn't the appropriate way to contact the guy, and that because of my personal life, I can't always just pick up a phone and say "Hi, this is Elise." That can cause alot of people in my personal life to look at me kinda crooked.
So, it wasn't a NO SHOW, nor did this guy have any grievance with me over a loss, the way he explained it to me when he made the last phone call... all he needed to do was to turn around and make a request and all would have been corrected.
Of course I'm sorry he was disappointed. I'm NOT sorry I followed my policies. They are set in stone for my protection.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to follow the rules of not making any inappropriate comments, remarks, movements, or anything that I may feel would compromise my safety and freedom.
In my publicized case the guy probably wasn't a bad guy. That doesn't mean he hadn't himself been compromised by the bad guys and was being turned into a tool by them. There's no way for me to know that, so when I see words that are waving a red flag, I only see the red flag waving.
He DID use completely inappropriate language in an email to me, therefore forfeiting his opportunity to meet me. HIS ACTION, not MINE, was the instigating factor in the cancellation. Why in heck should I apologize for him putting a hole in MY WEEK?
Simply stated, I will not EVER APOLOGIZE for taking care of my safety and ultimately anyone that I date. In other words, rest assured, that I'm not going to be doing anything illegal with ANY OF YOU.
Keep your mind on the fact that we're making a simple date, for our mutual relaxation, nothing more.. and we'll have a FINE TIME.
Get off your high horse visitorsfriend, about what the hobbiest that tried to gripe about me had to lose, time, or whatever. I've got WAY MORE to lose than you could imagine, should he be the bad guys, our should he be in the grips of the bad guys. Much easier for me to write off my time than to take a chance that I'm getting set up. I'm not greedy and I'm not desperate.
NOW ONE MORE TIME.. LEWD, SUGGESTIVE, SEXUALLY CONNOTATIVE comments have NO PLACE in any communication that you make with me or any girl that you're merely contacting for a simple date.
Do that, and EXPECT her to treat you like you've got the plague.
NO APOLOGIES you're DARN RIGHT. IF a guy screws up and uses inappropriate language after we've scheduled a date, HE should apologize to ME.
Elise
Elise - I didn't mention you in my response. Stop being so paranoid. In fact, I don't even know who you are - other than your rants on this board. One casual observation - I think your comments speak very clearly for the person you are and hope it directly reflects in your business. Hugs-n-Kisses (wink, wink) VF
You had plenty to say back then. And back then you knew my name, but you couldn't get the story straight. So remember my and get the story straight now.
So I'm well aware of exactly who you were talking about when you posted what you posted here, name or no name, it's apparent you were referring to me not apologizing for cancelling.
Well, still no apology and always remember, I've got a mind like a steel trap~~not only do I recall what you write about ME, I will recall what you write about everybody else.
http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/ViewMsgBody.asp?BoardID=7&Page=3&Messageid=25648
http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/ViewMsgBody.asp?BoardID=7&Page=3&Messageid=25681
There are plenty of gentleman that engage my time simply because they enjoy that I am cautious, well spoken, and don't back down when I get jumped. And get one more thing clear. It's not a business, it's dating.
What's most clear is that YOU have a gripe with me and missed the point entirely.
“A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.”
Benjamin Franklin
That was, when a mistake is made, assuming someone actually means well, and is sincere and sweet, goes along way.
OTOH, choosing the tack of assuming someone is trying to shaft you, and then being a bitch about it is probably NOT the way to go, from purely a marketing perspective.
I can assure you that your attitude has turned off several potential clients I know of, present company included, and many of us are very experienced San Diego gentlemen who have never done anything to endanger a lady's safety and freedom. You can take this bit of advice a couple of ways. If, as I expect, you come back with a snide comment about them (and perhaps me, as well) not being up to your lofty standards, and you're being happy not to see them/me, it will simply confirm what I already suspect.
On the other hand, you could take this to heart, and perhaps reflect on why it is that you are turning off people on this board with your attitude, you might well find this to have an entirely beneficial effect on your business.
Cheers.
you're correct, you're not up to my "lofty standards."
Take that as snide or take that as it's meant honest and pointed.
Lofty standards are nothing to be ashamed of there, stud.
Maybe I just want to turn certain people off. I've got scant time to date as it is. If you've ever actually read my ad, I believe it says EXCLUSIVE ELISE. I really did mean that.
Cheers to you, indeed.
Elise
whether or not you care to believe it, it actually IS your loss.
Not as it relates to me, since I'd already made up my mind that you were not worth the effort, but as it relates to the simple concept of getting along in the world.
You are really making a HUGE judgement based on things I write here, many of which I write with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek.
Um, last time I checked, this was a DISCUSSION board, not the real world.
I pick the guys I date based on who I want to spend a couple of hours relaxing with. Happens to be working quite nicely for me except I can't quite keep up with the demand and I'm very sorry about that.
Whatever you think you can glean about my life based on a couple paragraphs I write here, many times in order to figure out what type of personality a poster HERE is like.. well, I know enough about you and you know enough about me to know we don't want to spend time together. That doesn't say a THING about who we are in the real world now, does it?
Or are you really like this all the time? LOLOL EWWWW I, for one have my ELISE face, and then I have ME, an entirely different person that has a real life, a family, work and studies that have NOTHING to do with the person that dates for relaxation a few hours a month.
I can separate my Elise persona from the person that I am. So really now, What do you know about me? Well, I've got a big ass and a decent vocabulary and I'm a serial dater that advertises on Eros guide. And, you don't want to date me, but you just can't stop reading my posts.
You're biggest mistake is that you think I'm in the business of dating. I'm not. If you had ever read my dating ad literally you'd realize that. So stop making assumptions about Elise and take some advice from ME... Just skip my posts and save your sage advice for someone that has an intelligence quotient that may actually be lower than yours.
If you keep reading my posts and responding to me what does that say about YOU?
That's EXCLUSIVE Elise. Get out the dictionary if you need to.
E
It is clear at neither of you are going to convince the other of the validity of your respective positions. You both have made valid points and have good arguements, but now it looks like it is going downhill into name calling.
Elise is always going to be "Elise", no matter what anyone says, Period! And we all have the option of not seeing her. Last time I checked, it was still a free market system.
You, telling someone not to argue? LOLOL That's funny, thanks for the giggle. NOW let's get to some valid points.
The guy (STSTUD, Mr. "I make a ton of money but I'm still liberal") stuck his nose where it didn't belong and you know me, I'll unstick it and thwap it if I feel like it.
I would never date a guy like that, so him pointing out that I turned him off to dating me is rather, well, pointless. I grew up with boys like him. I find bragging about income extremely distasteful.
His "argument" isn't valid, because he is making an argument about doing business, and some pointers regarding the incorrect fact that I'm here posting in order to garner appointments.
Obviously, he's DEAD WRONG.
He also, wrongly assumes that Elise operates this way in "the world".
Those of you that have taken the time to get to know me are aware that it's quite the opposite. As a matter of fact, the guys that I date do so often BECAUSE of the fact that I date rather than escort and do so on a very limited and exclusive basis.
Nevermind SD STUD's little PM to me telling me that if a guy makes an arrangement through priceline for a room, that basically that nullifies my ability to cancel an appointment.
Back to square ONE. I'll cancel an appointment ~without apology~ if for any reason I feel that a guy is trying to compromise my safety. No matter what the prior circumstances are and no matter how close it is to the date.
That's the only VALID argument presented here.
So, dear Que Pasa... Let's stick to what the real point of the matter is here, instead of allowing the issue of SAFETY of the ladies to be clouded.
It isn't really about my attitude at all, since we all are aware if you want to ignore me it's as easy as skipping my posts.
Visitor's friend want's me to attract more flies with honey? He is welcome to attract as many flies as he likes. See, vinegar IS wonderful substance with many uses.
Oh and thanks for the practice, I've got some tests coming up, and the writing practice is very helpful. (Although I probably should have used some more "lofty" vocabulary.)
One last reminder. If you can't handle my pointed, honest, sometimes vitriolic penwomanship? Skip the posts entirely.
For fun, I highly suggest either the Imperial Beach sandcastle event or The Over The Line tournament that happens tomorrow and next weekend. The last games are the most intense, but the best people watching happens early on.
I'll be in Colorado visiting friends.
xoxoxo
Elise
I just never pursued it, after we had exchanged several correspondences, because your tone in one of them put me off. You have no idea how thankful I am about this, as the very thought of you knowing where I live would make me shudder (at that time, I still saw ladies at my residence). This was well before I had ever taken on the SDstud identity on TER. Shortly thereafter, you went on one of your many "retirements".
Personally, I have never brought up my financial resources unless it was in a context where someone else asked me about them. It WOULD be nice, however, if you were to respect the concept and meaning of "PRIVATE" messages, however.
Elise, It's a shame that you harbor such bitterness toward the world at large. Nobody can fix that for you, you have to want to for yourself. Contrary to your own opinion, I actually wish you the best in shedding the hostile feelings you obviously have toward yourself, and which you are transferring to those around you.
I "retired" or whatever you want to call it ONCE not many times. You are a bold faced LIAR if you are trying to make these people believe anything else.. Unless you've been misinformed? Now get it straight, and quit hating on me, because I'm NOT THE ONE.
Now I'm packing for my trip, but any of you that want to see SDSTUD bragging about his income, just do a find message back about 600 days with him as the author. He does it usually in context to a political discussion, not because he's been asked about it, as he's stating here. In any case, it is UGLY to talk about your income with anyone but the IRS, or your financial advisor.
I'm not even bitter at you, that's your projecting. I'm just doing a little thwapping where it's necessary. I want to make sure I spend my time with people that are DESERVING. Obviously putting you off (As I do OFTEN with many others that I feel I won't get along with as it's easier for you to take than a straight up "NO") was in good form. I can't even be sure what you're saying is true, as I don't keep those types of records.
In any case, ask any of the girls, saying "no" can lead to repurcussions that are ugly, making a guy believe he's the one that made the decision not to go forward is always the best way to go. (Unless they break the rules, that's an always NO or ignore.)
Now ask yourself, if you can't stand me so much, why do you keep reading my posts? LOLOLOL I mean really, who is bitter?
HAHAHA
Oh, and thanks to my great TER guy for lunch! Always special to see you!!
Elise
I am only continuing this thread, because the more people can see of your posts, the more information that they have to make up their own minds.
BTW, don't mistake my feelings for you for hate. What they are, frankly, would be fear, if I had ever met you. It's obvious that you're a psychopath, with stalker tendencies.
-- Modified on 7/14/2004 8:55:41 AM
I think anyone that reads through the thread and that knows me finds me to be honest and pretty much the same, all the time.
You, however, are insulting, and have waivered in your arguments, your logic, and it's easily researched both in this series of posts and by researching back to your other posts.
I don't recall saying I'd ignore you. I could be wrong. This is getting a bit tedious and I am through with you. I do think you're having a difficult time understanding what you read.
I suggested that YOU ignore ME, since you have such antipathy towards me as to make up lies about me and label me a stalker and a psych case. If anything, I'm AFRAID of folks, if you knew anything about psychology, you'd note that my "puffing up" is a classic symptom of anxiety. I've readily admitted that I suffer from that on more than one occassion.
There are certainly plenty of guys that I've met here that I'm friends with, and more importantly, several guys/ gals here that I'm NOT friends with that if I was the type to cause anyone grief of the stalker type, you'd and the rest of the gan would know it.
I'm the type of person that if a person I know personally crosses me, I ignore them.
So there, STUDLY (or not) whatever it is, you seem not to know yourself, have a happy little life, I happen to enjoy Danny DeVito types as much as I like Tall Boys.
I'm looking forward to a couple of very nice dates upcoming. Apparently your red darwinian flags aren't working the way you'd hoped. I appreciate the chance to prescreen.
Thanks for the fun!
I'd appreciate it if you'd quit lying about me, (Like find proof where I've had more than two names~changed the first one because I picked the name of a popular provider that I happened to have a similar appearance to~ for instance or left the "scene" more than once as you stated?)
I'd hate to spend more of my precious time putting up links and showing everyone in your own words where you slip up and double talk.
You won't be able to do that with my posts. If anything, I'm obsessed with the truth and defending my own honor. You're rather negligible in the whole of the matter.
E
Very well said! SDS - You showed a lot of class in light of the comments that she spewed your way. I say, let her keep talking because the more she says /does, the more people see her for who she is.
so much "class" he can't get his own argument straight.
Now, has he decided not to date me because of the way he perceives me due to my posts ~~maintained originally~~ OR is it because he and I exchanged emails before he was STSTUD and I put him off with my negative attitude in the emails?~ As he decided to type after I made the statement that I wouldn't want to date him since he boasts about his income and I find that to be tacky.
I think he's very clear that he's lying, egotistical, (why else name himself STUD?) and he merely hates me. Either way, who really cares? I'm not going to date either you, visitor's friend, or STSTUD. Your choice. Yah
Everyone wins. You two should both be very happy. I certainly am.
STSTUD has dated some fine women and I'm sure he'll keep doing it. I don't know why he wastes his time even clicking on my posts. If I had the chance to be in the company of Jai and NetM, I'd leave big fat me alone. Like total ignore.
Every time you say something mean spirited or aggressive towards me, you cull nice guys out of the pack to come forward and take notice of me. I doubt that's what you have in mind when you make acerbic statements towards me.
Now go ahead and say what you want, Stand up and clap away. No one else but poor Girl Next Door is reading these posts.
I'll let you both (or any of the other Elise haters) have the last words as I'm out of town and on to Colorado) where I won't be even looking at a computer for the next week. Flame away.
E
It's pure self-deprecating sarcasm, and everyone who knows me knows that I'm actually a cuddly teddy bear who resembles Danny Devito.
Of course, since you'll never meet me, you won't ever get a chance to find out what a nice guy I really am in person.
And actually, I have no qualms about culling people out of the pack to see you. I believe in Darwinism. Those who interpret this thread as an invitation to see you, are welcome to what they get. Similarly, those who have the perception to read this as a red flag, are able to make their own judgements in that direction as well. This is all about simply getting the information out on the public domain, so that everyone is capable of making up their own minds with the information at hand.
"...but in both kinds the main thing is to cheat expectation and reply in a way the listener does not expect;"
ok, you see the lady for the first, you write a glowing review. She knows your TER handle because it's part of her screening process. A couple of encounters later, you gradually discover she's a raving lunatic who's either doing too many drugs in the bathroom or she's not taking enough of her doctor prescribed medications. Without going into specifics, -- this isn't what you expected. None of the reviews mentioned these types of possibilities. She has all your personal information, you think she might even be physically dangerous, so what do you do?
Nothing, and hope the next reviewer has more balls than you do? Or better yet, maybe it's not the lady who's crazy but you, the reviewer? Maybe momma didn't hold you enough when you were young, the boss is a meanie, and the car issurance is too much. What are you going to do? Write a mean review??? probably.
Shouldn't happen, but it does. Getting blamed for someone else's crap. Or getting more/less than you initially expected. It's the nature of every business. Deal with it. Posting about it here is a good first choice. Freedom of the press!
In the case where one has been stood up by a lady with a good track record, it would seem best to try to work it out privately with that lady. Public airing of dirty laundry in such a case has the appearance of trying to be hurtful or seek sympathy. It is not particularly useful from an informative standpoint. Although I can understand the desire to lash out in such a case, it does not accomplish much other than perhaps providing the "satisfaction" of having had the last word.
I can see the value of giving a heads-up if this were to have happened with someone who has no or few reviews, or if it appeared to be part of a pattern.
Gee, from all the folks that seems to happen to, it does seem to be a pattern. Dumb me -- I thought was why they were posting it.
Either you have been paying more attention to Asian Ashley posts than I have and a pattern of actually MAKING dates and not showing up has appeared, or you are right about one thing--your intelligence (or lack thereof).
I did a 360 day search on this forum, and found RMPLE's post to be the first complaint about Ashley having missed an appointment she actually ARRANGED. With you, she showed the good taste simply not to respond. NOT THE SAME THING. No response is just that--no response.
You have no cause to be upset at a no response. RMPLE, at least, had a legitimate gripe. And no, I don't think you are entitled to a "sorry, but I can't fit you in." Maybe she wasn't interested in giving you a "birthday treat." Grow up. And next time, read and understand before you diss.
-- Modified on 7/3/2004 5:05:07 PM
Yeah, you are right Georgy, it was a hasty post I made. Ashley, if you are reading this, I am sorry. I really didn't mean to diss you at all. But, Georgy, it was a little more involved than the "birthday treat" post. You are right she "owed" me no response if she didn't want to see me. I just thought it would have been a courteous thing to do is all. No big deal, even though I did want very much to see her this trip. Oh, well... life goes on, as they say.
I take back all the mean things I said. 
Hope you connect next time.
I guess there are many different perpectives regarding this particular issue, as well as, other threads on the same issue. Or, how one might perceive this issue after reading its content. As I understand it, a date was set but, without confirmation of the date and time agreed to by both concerned (possibly elements were omitted). If it were me, without a date/time confirmation, I would not consider that to be an appointment to meet. Okay, the date went by and nothing. Why, would seem to me to be the more important issue to pursue before jumping to conclusions and being a bit too hasty. Later on, an explanation was posted by the lady subjected to the vent(you see, that was why). The loop appears to be closed with no harm done.
As mentioned by sdgent, this type of thing and its content will not have any negative effect on a the lady's solid reputation and will be more likely considered unusual and set aside without much concern, if any. Since you are also a lady of solid reputation, continue to be as you are and never believe that we all fall in line in lock-step and follow the same conclusions.
I am speaking in general terms and not about the Ashley thread in particular.
I understand that Staff is working on a system of reporting no shows that is fair to both hobbyist and provider. Hopefully that system will alleviate some of the issues related to no shows.
I agree with you that it is better to try and work out no show problems privately with the provider via email or telephone when that is possible.
Under the current rules I disagree that a hobbyist should never post about a no show problem on the boards even if it involves a well reviewed provider. I don't think anyone should try to damage a provider's reputation out of malice but I don't think the fear of damaging that reputation should exclude posting anything negative about a provider. The boards are meant to convey information both good and bad for the benefit of the membership.
One example recently surfaced on the Los Angeles board where a hobbyist complained about a no show with a well reviewed travelling provider. Based upon what came out in the thread that followed it appears that the lady was double booking on a regular basis. Should the fear of damaging her reputation kept the hobbyist from posting about it?
Another situation ocurred earlier this year on the Los Angeles board where a hobbyist submitted a very negative review on Betty/Lara because she basically went beserk on him and started yelling and screaming. The lady had good reviews until that point in time. In a thread started by AsianKid on 1/4/04 he mentioned that he had had a similar experience with the lady. In the thread that followed a number of hobbyists mentioned they had had similar experiences. A number of the hobbyists were either afraid to write reviews because of the personal information the lady had on them or did not want to say anything negative in a review. Obviously it did not happen all of the time but it was not uncommon for her to go crazy with clients. A day or two later the lady had all of her reviews pulled. Should she have been allowed to hide her behaviour behind a wall of silence?
Your point is well taken that there are times when public discourse is appropriate. Re the Asian Ashley situation, I thought the post was a bit premature, especially given the issue's resolution.
-- Modified on 7/3/2004 5:12:59 PM
It happened on that "other" board. A well reviewed provider was visiting here and one of our former members her had a "problem" confirming his date with her.She would pick up her phone as was her practice in these situations. Time for the date came and went. In his infinite wisdom, this person had the knee jerk reaction that was typical of him and trashed the girl pubically, saying that she stood him up. Furthermore, he implored others who had appointments with her to cancel or simply not show up as retribution and whined about his feelings being hurt (how weak is that). Well, as it turns out. This cerebral giant did everything right in setting up his appointment..........almost. He called to confirm using a blocked phone number.Admittedly a stupid but easy to make mistake but it was one of this providers well known rules. She did not take calls from blocked numbers so didn't answer his confirmation call. This set the tone for her entire visit to San Diego.
She hasn't been back since, thanks to a thoughtless,hot headed post.
-- Modified on 7/4/2004 12:33:55 PM
Just your use of the term, "on top of everything", is enough to have my daydreaming about you all over again.
Have a Happy 4th!
Not sure if this will even be read as it is at the bottom of a long thread. So what. This SD board forgets an important consideration; it is filled with dog piling and slamming not to mention the blind allegiance to the "regular" providers who partake of this forum.
Here's my bottom line. I don't care how good a rep a provider has or how honorable, beautiful, GFE, thoughtful, reputuable, considerate, popular, favored, whatever... they are. This whole gig is about two people getting together in the privacy of consenting adults, to spend time...
Many "hobbiests" partake part time..many "providers" do this more "fulltime". The whole connection takes courtesy and consideration between BOTH parties. A no show is rude on the part of either hobbiest or provider. WHen a hobbiest doesn't show, the provider screams foul and, some, expect renumeration for their "time" anyway. WHen a provider no shows, the hobbiest is "out" an alloted time to spend with someone, and is justifiably disappointed. He usually reports the matter to others.
If we can remember that we are all adults, entitled to mutual respect, consideration, privacy and some basic "manners", there will probably be less of a need to flame others, and huddle around one another as cliques...which is so obvious in SD.
Don't bother to flame me... i've got a fire extinguisher closeby. Not hiding behind an alias...
but I have to say something here (yeah, I'm sure you all are surprised 
.
Volvo, I think you have a mistaken impression of no shows. In my experience, providers get no showed more often than hobbyists. I know plenty of both, and that is what I have encountered.
Additionally, most of the times I have heard one of my provider friends say she was no showed, she never posted a thing about it on the boards. On the other hand, when a hobbyist is no showed and posts something about it, I post along with it and encourage guys to posts about it if it happens to them, as long as they made an effort to investigate and were not contacted back.
Lastly, when hobbyists are no showed, they can go home and whack off, or see their wives, or spend the money on a savings bond, and there is a good chance they will be able to reschedule (if they want to). When a provider is no showed, she is out what is usually her LIVING WAGE, and many times the hobbyist isn't interested in rescheduling.
If you know something more than I do about this, please enlighten me.
-- Modified on 7/5/2004 10:17:53 PM
and I thank you for your input Volvo. (btw I drove an old battered volvo for 10 years and it was the best car I ever had.)
I don't think the posting that goes on in this forum is simply "dog piling and ... blind allegiance." The posters in this forum are deserving of the respect they receive. You say so yourself, "we are all adults, entitled to mutual respect, consideration, privacy and some basic 'manners'."
I don't know Ashley personally and I'm sorry that I used her to make a point in this thread. If I hadn't made this post this negative attention that she has received would have been more short lived. I'm really sorry for that. Not sure if you noticed but I also did post an apology to Rmple. I should have made my post in a way that didn't include him either as this really had nothing to do with him and his post but had more to do with my interest in these types of posts.
In this instance I identified with Ashley because I get a lot of similar complaints and I wanted to show her some support. I don't think that's such a bad thing. There are things that can't be understood unless you've experienced them and that makes me feel a sisterhood with ALL providers. It's corny but it's true. It really wasn't an "us" against "them" thing. It was just honest heartfelt empathy. There's room for that here right?
I know there have been times when something negative was posted about me and I didn't feel comfortable defending myself. It's an isolating feeling and I suspect you can identify with it. I have a hard time just sitting by and thinking of someone else in a similar position. I certainly didn't mean to upset you or make you defensive I just have a hard time standing by when I think someone is being unjustly maligned.
I also was really interested in what everyone had to say and that's why I posted the questions I did. I've learned something from the responses. This kind of discourse is part of the reason I participate on these boards. Ultimately, I hope to learn and find more empathy for my fellow man rather than less. Hopefully that will help me do my job better.
I understand that this is a review board. But this review board has sections like this where we can post things other than reviews. I'm glad it's here for all of our differing interests.
Just for the record I have never expected or asked for a cancelation fee and can't remember ever accepting one either. I really don't know many providers who do. I understand that life is funky sometimes and well, things just happen and I try not to lash out or hurt somebody just because I'm dissapointed or out a few bucks.
I'd like to make a little side note on moderated vs. unmoderated posters. Until very recently I too was on moderated status and I do really understand the frustration of not being able to post real time. I'm glad I hung in there though and kept at it because being able to post live changes the dynamic of the board for the better.
LJ
"Here is
where there
is."
-Robert Creeley
-- Modified on 7/5/2004 7:49:35 PM
This is your brain...
Lily June is your brain in the body of a beautiful woman...
Any questions?
You go, girl...that post kicked ass.
However, you can check with other guys who have seen her and see if they agree.
Regardless, my post was not an effort to score points with LJ or "shill" for her... she knows what I think about her, and the men who have seen her seem to like her, too. I was just stating my honest opinion...that we are lucky to have someone who would write such a level-headed, humanitarian post on one of the ugliest threads I have ever seen on this or any board, and that the person who would write it is intelligent. Just so happens she is beautiful, too. And the post kicked ass.
So...if stating the truth is wrong, then lock me up, baby!
Thanks to everyone for responding.
My intention wasn't to rebuke Rumple. Sorry about that. I've been a bit on the defensive side lately.
Hobby On,
LJ
Interesting... What do you guys suggest a guy do when he is no-showed?
The guy called and emailed her -- and no word from her. Now she did call (the wrong phone)-- she's not evil, she made a mistake-- and so she'll live with a little consequence of her little mistake -- a semi-nasty post. But all the guys who know her swear up and down she's great because she's been great and probably continues to be great. She won't probably lose a lot of business... And guys like me who don't know her are warned that though she has great fans and reviews, and therefore must be awesome, she's not as on top of things as she could be... Doesn't mean I won't try to see her...
I think everybody wins...
but only after a reasonable amount of time for the provider to respond to him has passed. Especially with travelling providers, it can be hard to have time to reconnect with someone, especially if there are multiple phone numbers or e-mail addresses involved. However, if any guy "really" gets no-showed, and does not get follow up within a reasonable amount of time, I encourage him to post about it.
I think Rumpl and Ashley are the BOMB! Just didn't cross the right wires that's all..........
Jenni