I had finally found a provider that I thought fit everything I had been looking for. She is beautiful, intelligent, sensual, incredibly class, and giving. Her reviews fit me to a tee. I was so elated to see her photos and reviews, I could hardly wait to get a reply. I am so particular, and search reviews so thoroughly, I wait forever until I find someone that seems like a perfect march. I became deeply infatuated. When she replied and she checked me out, we set up a meeting. I got so excited about seeing her, kind of like the anticipation of going on a vacation to an exotic destination. I saw her posting somewhere else and thought wow, she works to hard. I sent her an email that said, hey you work to hard, if I was your guy we would be sipping champagne and dancing salsa on a Saturday night. I am not what message that sent, but she sent me one that said my e mail was off putting, and then today she said she was canceling. I feel horrible on many levels. One, for saying something that would have upset her, this is one classy, beautiful woman. Secondly, I don't know what I said that hurt or upset her. I'm not sure what the average guy is like who is a client, I see myself as a kind, respectful gentle guy. I guess I am writing this to get feedback on how what I said hurt her. I have no idea what got lost in translation. I feel lousy and don't know exactly why. Help!
So you lost a possible date because of some miscommunication. It's not like your going to marry her. So be less particular and move on. With just two reviews under your belt, you have lots of ocean to fish in. Learn your lesson and keep at it.
J.APPLESEED PS, An even great horrible mistake would be not watching the last episode of Breaking Bad!! MISS YOU WALT!
This goes not just for communication between providers and clients, but also in the real world with colleagues, business associates, and friends too. Its sometimes hard to convey that you are only joking, just making an off the cuff remark, or simply offering a compliment, without the body language that goes with it. Its sometimes said that over 90% of our communication is actually non-verbal. Hence emails and pm's can be potential minefields. I've sometimes found it helpful to offer a commentary on my sarcastic wit, flippant joke, or passing remark, just after I've made it. Something like: of course I'm joking here, etc. You get the idea. My advice, or what its worth, is to reply to her and apologize, explaining that you were not attempting to put her off, and that you really are, as you say, kind and respectful. If you have a provider reference, they might also offer to put in a good word for you. The ball is then in her court. Ultimately of course, she must decide if she feels comfortable enough to see you - which is pretty much how it works out in real world dating as well. If it doesn't happen, chalk it down to experience, and as I'm sure many a provider and hobbyist here will tell you (perhaps a little too casually given your feeling are raw), just move on. Its unfortunate this has happened, but now is to time for damage control. That's my two cents.
was building her up so big in your mind without having even met her. You sound like a lovesick teen, and you haven't met her! I'm guessing she (mis)interpreted your note as creepy...that you're already picturing yourself as "her guy" and that you're giving her this presumably better lifestyle. Sorry buddy, but that just sounds a bit creepy.
Next time just book an appointment, meet with the gal, and see how it goes before you start implying that they should be with you.
My sense is sometimes it's better to say less than more in this hobbyist/provider arena in which we move. It's easy to miscommunicate when you consider we approach "the hobby" from a different perspective than the ladies. Best we can do is learn from it and move on.
these girls are providers, they have their own lives and don't need some clingy dude emailing them telling them they should be with them. During your visit she will make you feel special, but you are not her daddy, lover or boyfriend. Most providers have significant others and this is a job. You got too personal and of course you put her off. Leave that lady alone and move on. I can guarantee that if you act clingy and mushy during a session with any provider, you won't be seeing her again. My 2 cents!
I don't blame her one bit for cancelling. She was creeped out by your email! You are already clingy before you even had a first date. This is her job. You are not her boyfriend.
How this works: You research a potential provider. You contact her for a date. She screens you. You show up, clean and with the proper donation. You treat her with respect and you have fun. You leave on time. WTF were you thinking with your, "If I were your man we would be..." If you are looking for that kind of relationadhip check match.com or eharmoney.
1. Agree here - it might have been the creepiness of the whole interaction rather than just that comment. You haven't even met her yet!
2. You can apologize in a short email as long as you are not still trying to see her - but you can't ramble on about still wanting to see her, what is going on in your life that caused you to send that email, etc. 3. The other site you might want to try is seekingarrangement. Its something in between match.com and TER - where you pay for the relationship, either b/c you are old, married, or have social skills that require offsetting financial consideration
Find another provider and move on. If you want an intense GFE experience, do your homework and book a long appt. No point in beating yourself up. Mi dos centavos.
she probably took you to be a 'savior' or whatever the working girls call a client like that. relax and just have fun. that's what a 'hobby' is supposed to provide.
made a decision. another email would make it worse.
Posted By: osssieboy
This goes not just for communication between providers and clients, but also in the real world with colleagues, business associates, and friends too. Its sometimes hard to convey that you are only joking, just making an off the cuff remark, or simply offering a compliment, without the body language that goes with it. Its sometimes said that over 90% of our communication is actually non-verbal. Hence emails and pm's can be potential minefields. I've sometimes found it helpful to offer a commentary on my sarcastic wit, flippant joke, or passing remark, just after I've made it. Something like: of course I'm joking here, etc. You get the idea. My advice, or what its worth, is to reply to her and apologize, explaining that you were not attempting to put her off, and that you really are, as you say, kind and respectful. If you have a provider reference, they might also offer to put in a good word for you. The ball is then in her court. Ultimately of course, she must decide if she feels comfortable enough to see you - which is pretty much how it works out in real world dating as well. If it doesn't happen, chalk it down to experience, and as I'm sure many a provider and hobbyist here will tell you (perhaps a little too casually given your feeling are raw), just move on. Its unfortunate this has happened, but now is to time for damage control. That's my two cents.
Is usually reserved for the LA or General Discussion Boards, but bro you set yourself up for this one. Rule No. 1 "This is business business business"
Rule #2 "See Rule #1" Rule #3 ""F$&@ with Rule #1 and Prepare to get Hurt, Lambasted, Roasted, Flambayed and Otherwise Mocked." Don't throw this #%$& online and expect anything different. Live and learn. Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.
Posted By: sdhobbyist
was building her up so big in your mind without having even met her. You sound like a lovesick teen, and you haven't met her! I'm guessing she (mis)interpreted your note as creepy...that you're already picturing yourself as "her guy" and that you're giving her this presumably better lifestyle. Sorry buddy, but that just sounds a bit creepy.
Next time just book an appointment, meet with the gal, and see how it goes before you start implying that they should be with you.
I've been around TER for like 15 years, thought I have a decent rep for a fairly infrequent reviewer and poster. If you're referring to my comment about KR from a few days back, all I can tell you is I've had decent-good-amazing experiences (yes, they've varied) with her over the last 3 years. It's too bad that some other guys haven't (both for them and for her). Not sure how that equates to me trying to save her, but whatever.
I am not calling YOU Captain SaveAHoe! Bbqboss said your comment in the thread said it best, but his post was directed to the OP. Here is his post:
she probably took you to be a 'savior' or whatever the working girls call a client like that. relax and just have fun. that's what a 'hobby' is supposed to provide.
My comment was an answer to the "whatever the working girls call a client like that" part of his post.
It wasn't that you hurt her. It was as she stated, very off putting, to have someone so infatuated with her, express things to her that made her feel uncomfortable. And she did what she felt was right, in choosing not to proceed forward in meeting you. As your infatuation (that you so expressed), might get worse and perhaps lead to stalking. (yes it's happened!).
So take it as a lesson learned and next time, don't get soo infatuated and clearly don't express it. Not all women get turned on by strange men expressing their infatuated feelings etc, in this adult hobby
I agree with you. Prior to seeing anyone, you have to keep it cool and respectful. Once you see that person and if the sparks start to fly, then the magic can happen. If there's no spark, then move on. Its all about the chemistry. Remember, respect the chemistry.
Often we are overwhelmed by the beauty of a lady and set our expectations too high. This is the hobby and it is just a fantasy. Don't get me wrong I have seen many a beautiful lady that would not have been possible in civ life. Sometimes a little air of mystery will provide more mutual desire. If it happens.. I have a good time but if it does not thats ok too just move on.
I recently had a very bad experience with a lady just before we met. I told her it was off because the experience did not put me in the mood for a good time. In your case you are better off moving on since the email exchange has set the mood on a sour note. When I was young trying to find that perfect mate my expectations were very high and I did not date much, then I realized that there are many wonderful ladies out there who just wanted to have fun that you never knew! Don't put too much into reviews and have some fun!
Not fatal though but probably with that fish. She felt threatened by you and your not going to repair it, move on.
Rule #3, always remember you are not her only lover! Got it? This is a hard one for new-bees. Especially when she says she likes you, your special, or she hopes to see you again soon. Rule #16, don't fantasize before you meet. Expectations never match reality, you will be disapponited, and you will tend to do and say stupid things.
There are so many possibilities that could be going on in her daily life. Perhaps her boyfriend reviews her account and felt threatened by the potential of another man taking care of her. Some ladies may have a fear of clients getting to close or really falling for them because they have had a stalker situation in the past. Who knows but don't get so hung up over this stuff.
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