Look, I know my opinion means little in the big picture and all but, I have an offer for all of you that want to be slaves to some fat she-hag, ex-manager at a rolling rink.

I will provide a service for half your current expenditures.  Sign a document waving all prosecution and I will beat you within an inch of your life.  Black eye, can do.  Bruises and whip marks, no prob.  Then, you won't have to suck up your hidden goofyness and you can go to work proudly and explain to the world that you received a good beating.  That way, other's will respect you for your toughness and backbone, and then you won't have to slink off and have some "Dom" beat you with feathers and rolls of toilet paper and call it erotica.  Just my opinion of course.  

Your trailer-park buddy,
Rubberband