Let's face it...Not all of us have chiselled facial features or the bodies of Adonis. Many, in fact, are very much the opposite. Some of us are merely average and if seen sitting at a restaurant would probably not garnish a second look. But at least a woman would not lose her appetite if she were to glance our way. But when the clothes come off......
O.K., O.K. Where am I going with this...
I tend to think of myself as that "somewhere around average looking" guy at the dinner table. I might even get a smile or maybe even a glance. But there's more...certain physical idiosyncrasies that aren't so apparent if one was to sit down and have dinner or a talk...unless you pay attention.
O.K., O.K. Make your point.
While I'm not an avid hobbyist, I have been with a good handful of providers. All but two left me unsatisfied, perplexed and somewhat self-conscious. These were ALL well reviewed ladies that seemed to just "click" with all their patrons. While I can imagine that not all men have equal experiences, even with the best of providers, I have been left wondering if my place in this hobby is simply unwanted. The problem? I wish it were a problem with being overweight. I believe I could do something more about that. Nope...not that easy. Let's see...
5'6",175 lbs, (not as bad as it sounds since I have a few extra lbs. of titanium and porcelain in my lower body,) small boned, chicken-breasted, lovehandles, a little bit of a belly, hip replacements, (hence about 3' of total scarring,)very noticable limp, arthritic hands, deformed foot arches, hammertoes, drop foot, a 5-6" penis, (see previous post,) oh....and I'm 44. No...
This is NOT a plea for pity. It's just that I can imagine that woman can just overlook so much when it comes down to dollars and cents. The vast majority of the ladies I have seen were noticably uneasy in my presence and in turn my interest waned. I do seem to have that type of personality that draws a crowd. But when the clothes hit the floor the interest seems to walk out the door.
So....When I contact ladies in the future, is it only fair that I give them a rundown in advance in order to thwart off any unpleasant surprises? If so, will it come as no surprise if I am politely turned away? I'd like to have this issue responded to by hobbyists and providers alike. But please...Try not to be too
unkind. An ego can be such a fragile thing....LOL
...if you are in turn respectful and kind. Everybody has a "problem" or two.
Then again, preparing the provider ahead of time may be a good idea but be ready to fork over a 10% cancelation fee if you use outcalls. Probably, the best bet is to utilize the AMP's around town.
So you can have some hot no-strings sex with someone who either digs it or acts like she does. If you are a gentleman, meet her screening requirements, etc you should be treated well.
If you are REALLY concerned about it, tell her ahead of time what you look like or better yet send a photo. If she has a problem, she can make her excuses then. I recommend the more mature providers who have been in business for a few years or more, someone with good reviews, a classy person. But any halfway decent escort should be able to make you feel like your presence is welcome. After all, they are providing a service and you are the client. That is the way it should be.
Dear Quasimodo: I think you have to remember that the ladies we often simply refer to as "providers" (in a somewhat de-humanizing way) are really people, too and, like any one else they have normal human instincts, likes, dislikes, aversions and attractions. Can you not remember a time when you found some hottie (in her clothes or through the "beer goggles") that became "coyote ugly" in the light of day (or when the lights came on in the bar)? Of course not suggesting you're necessarily "coyote ugly," but continuing YOUR thread maybe they're just normally and naturally a little taken aback when you drop trou. There is another possibility here, though. Consider the absolute truth that any interpersonal dealing is in no small part a function of chemistry. The ladies try to "provide" a large measure part of that chemistry but you have to do your part. If you're starting out with a preconceived notion of self-consciousness, if you're sweaty after a long day of ringing that *#&%$!! bell (chuckle), or go into it ready to believe she's going to run screaming from the room in terror that can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy even if it doesn't really happen that way. I have a suspicion that the chemistry issue is likely to be the culprit here and not the fact that they're repulsed. I think you ought to use the charm you describe, use the "personality that draws a crowd" and turn what you perceive as your shortcomings into something you can BOTH be comfortable with.
Is it possible that you are projecting your own insecurities onto the providers? Most of us really don't think like that. I look for someone who is sincere and has a good sense of humor and would be more curious about your scars than turned off by them. Most of the providers I know are the same way.
If it makes you more comfortable, sure, go ahead and describe yourself a litte and it helps if you can be lighthearted and joke about it a little as we will take our cue from you. If you are comfortable with yourself it's more likely that we will be comfortable with you. Don't take it to heart if you don't get a response. Most likely they are just too busy.
I think Lily June has some insight as to what you are exeriencing. the only time I have ever felt a need to withdraw from a client or behave in anyway like you have described was due to the client being so nervous or self deprecating to the point that it really ruined the mood and leveled any chancce for things to feel intimate. I can only assure someone a couple of times that it is ok who they are and that my focus is on him enjoying the experience and relaxing enough to do so is key. After that I realize it doesn't matter if I reassure because the issue is too deeply ingrained in them and my words won't ring true. At the point I think that a client doesn't believe what I say or gives me the impression that he thinks that I am acting or pretending to like him but an secretly disgusted I actually get offended.
Why on earth would I put myself through that? If a man...a human being with the marks of his life and the body he was given disgusts me or turns me off so much why would I choose to subject myself to that? I am not so greedy a person nor does money have that strong of an appeal to suffer anyone and thankfully I don't need a client to be great looking to like him. Sometimes the great looking ones are real ugly inside anyway and that is the worst kind of ugly to be.
That is so true even for me.........I have this one client whom I see that is a fantastic guy. Smart loves the same art as me, is well educated,and we share so much in common, but is a little less than perfect. (but so am I) Sometimes he is so embaresed of the way he is, that it deffinatly ruins the mood.
Be a gentleman.......be yourself, and don't dwell on anything negative about your self, and you will hopefully have a good time.
Also do see more established providers like fore mentioned. We do tend to look deeper than just the outside apperance. Whats in side is the most beautiful, and sexy thing sometimes!