First the rant

Reasons:

I agree...count me in.  This is a collaborative effort - hobbyists and providers.

I totally agree on every point.

just said a mouth full!!!  

read number 5?

when most everyone disagrees with you

when one set of participants is here for a distraction from RL and the other is here to earn a living (or at least supplement it), you're gonna have extreme disagreements.

Good question. Generally speaking no it is not. It is dog piling when the same pack of dogs disagree with the same poster. I should have said dog pack piling. Oh yeah. It's pretty obvious when it occurs. I have observed it multiple times and could almost predict the responses. You see, I go waaaaay back to the origins of this board. Lareviewer and blue pond. I was an original member and while I can say there was always healthy disagreement it was nothing like this. The difference was mostly honest discussion and none of the pandering to providers POV. This board has gone way too far in that regard.   IMHO when you let a provider openly say "the one with the pussy makes the rules" and you cater to her then everything is no longer an even playing field. Think about it. What kind of hell would have to be paid if a hobbyist said fuck you all. I have the dick so you listen to me

You have the dick AND the money!

solution, then PM me in six months when you're ready to make things interesting again.   If you're going to censor certain topics for six months, I will be on vacation.

simply dislike others. And until somehow the bad blood is gone, nothing much will change. Would be cool if guys and perhaps some gals could get together for some occasion and get to know each other better. If it happens,  the drinks are on me

Yes it's annoying to have either one poster constantly say tj is better. It reminds me of billy madison in the bathtub. Block if it annoys you enough

You make some valid points but I must call you on one. As it regards this board, I am not pro provider. What I am is pro this board. I pimp and pander to no one. I do, however support those who express opinions and are then insulted for doing so, no matter it is a hobbyist or provider. There is one lady that often writes posts I agree with and sometimes I don't. As for us guys, I have posted support and disagreement with probably all the guys that have more than a few posts here.  

That was well stated and I would say you have a lot to offer. Your intelligence speaks more than your newness here. I have read your posts and have found them to be well thought out.  

LA just had one.  Check the meet and greet board under general boards for others.  Have never heard of any in SD recently.  They usually require a sponsor.  You should volunteer to set one up locally.

the vast majority of guys here don't want to see women as human beings.  not sure why, i suppose it has to do with self-image.  they also don't want to see these transactions as anything more than goods and services for sale, as if a well-crafted movie or especially intuitive massage were nothing more than a bottle of coke or ipad for sale.  they refuse to admit the creativity (let alone possible danger) involved on the woman's part in making these fantasies for them.

calling "old guys?"

I think that part of the problem here is a reflection on the state of discourse everywhere on the Internet. I was reading the comments on a lovely Facebook posting about someone's memories of his long dead mother (it is Mother's Day after all). Somehow the comment thread was suddenly filled with how awful Obama is, how Trump is an idiot, and how Hillary is a liar. I'm not going to debate which, if any, of statements is true, but none of them have anything to do with the posting. And while I haven't seen comments here on TER degenerate to political diatribes, I think it is all a part of the Internet's problem of "I'm anonymous, so I can say whatever I want".

Thanks and allow me to expand on item 1. First I mean this in a respectful way. Why do you feel the need to congratulate anyone on their insights on a post and apologize if someone is insulted?  I mean it's very galant of you to do so but honestly it's not necessary. The essence of this board is discussion amongst adults. Sometimes others have differing opinions. Let it go. I would enjoy healthy debate without you being the school monitor. This isn't school. If someone is so thin skinned they get insulted then they shouldnt post. It's really that simple.  As others have said this should be viewed as free market and I agree. Don't step in everytime the market corrects itself. However ugly it may be, let it correct itself.  

The same guys (usually) engaging in the same pissing contests. It's a guy thing, we try and carve out turf and then defend it.

I've attended several M&g's in Las Vegas and here. In Vegas many hobbyists revealed their online ter personalities and I made quite a few friends. In San Diego, however, all the guys chose to remain anonymous.

I like connecting and having a friendly and humorous chat. But I also enjoy 30 min sessions the most. I think connection has more to do with chemistry between two people rather than the amount of time spent together

it's not pandering to start a conversation on a positive note. Like a job performance evaluation, a good manager starts with the positives and then moves toward the critique. It's an attempt at promoting dialogue. As you stated, we're all adults here. This is how adults engage in a conversation or debate. Acknowledge the merit of the opposing viewpoint and then offer a rebuttal or contrary view.  

Agree on both points especially the point about the WKs.  Who knows if they are true hobbyists or providers disguised as hobbyists to bolster their position.  Either way I appreciate your feedback and agree with you 100%.

So, I have never posted on a discussion board before, even though I’ve been on TER for a decent amount of time. My sample rate of providers I’ve seen is low, as I gravitate towards trying to achieve a real connection with a woman, and when I find that spark I tend to repeat. I’m grateful for these boards in that they have certainly taught me a thing or two over the years, especially when I was new to all this. If nothing else, I’ve learned there are thousand different reasons why we as clients are here, just as there’s a provider out there that can fulfill any specific look, desire, or need.  

Your points are well taken. And, maybe I have acted a bit too much like a school monitor. But because of the level the board dropped to, well, somebody had to do it or it was dead. It's not dead yet and I will gladly step back and stop being the board police. LOL.  

I think you have been a member of the silent majority and I am happy to see new names show up here and in the last week or more. We need more people posting.

Very happy for your participation and I most definitely agree that this board has been a "shit-show".  I applaud Incallman2 for what you have been trying to do here.  I encourage you to stick around and offer some more input as it seems you have been around a while.  In fact that reminds me - I think I will start a new thread.  Please feel free to participate...

Posted By: redrock14

So, I have never posted on a discussion board before, even though I’ve been on TER for a decent amount of time. My sample rate of providers I’ve seen is low, as I gravitate towards trying to achieve a real connection with a woman, and when I find that spark I tend to repeat. I’m grateful for these boards in that they have certainly taught me a thing or two over the years, especially when I was new to all this. If nothing else, I’ve learned there are thousand different reasons why we as clients are here, just as there’s a provider out there that can fulfill any specific look, desire, or need.  
   
 I was glad to come across this particular post, as I feel it is long overdue. Lately I find that I read through threads less and less, and when I do I often come away feeling a bit depressed. It’s sad to me that so many posts either start out or become tilted towards negativity and general dismissal of any alternate view or opinion (and it’s not just endemic to this regional board). I know this isn’t exactly a new issue and I know that by nature any internet forum gives voice to people whose main purpose is to vent or deride, but it’s so baffling to me that in this little corner of the world where we’re all trying to come together (in every sense of the word), that so many of us expend so much energy to make us all more separate from each other. Physical intimacy is such an incredible thing and that I find it amazing how many people treat it like it’s just a product. Ditto for how so many posts define both women and men in terms of either base economics or base motivations. What is wrong with us? I don’t understand why we can’t all treat each other with a modicum of respect. My God, we should be writing in praise of the art of the kiss, the incredible joy of an orgasm, all the amazing myriad ways in which people can relate to each other. Sure, there are many important protocol and social discussions that revolve around this “hobby,” and they should be discussed as well, but the discussions should lead to enlightenment, not name calling. Not mean-spiritedness. Sex (at least for me) should be a celebration, the ultimate act you can do with another human being, and I find it so incredibly depressing how many people seem to lose sight of that. I’m so tired of people bitching about fucking when in reality we should be rejoicing about it. And whether you define that experience as a 30-minute cum ‘n go or a week-long erotic escape, we should all remember that when you boil everything down it’s all about two people (or more, lol) coming together on the most amazing level ever invented. It should be a blast. Damnit, it should be wonder. It’s why nature gave us cocks and clitorises to begin with. Well, there is that procreation angle, but you get the point.    
   
 Yes, I’m aware that mine may be a minority opinion, but I’m fine with that. This journey is very personal for me, and if I’m some sort of romantic outlier, then so be it. I’ll probably crawl back into my den and hibernate for another couple years before posting again, but I’ll have one or more amazing women there to keep me company.

I am not as articulate as you...I do respond once in a while.
I'm not sure if it's because of my advanced age(63), or just me, but I love having a connection with my Therapists(as I call them). I can understand those who do not want that, but not me!
I enjoy my daily read here...it's entertaining for my mind.  
Lets just all get along....lol
 

Posted By: redrock14

So, I have never posted on a discussion board before, even though I’ve been on TER for a decent amount of time. My sample rate of providers I’ve seen is low, as I gravitate towards trying to achieve a real connection with a woman, and when I find that spark I tend to repeat. I’m grateful for these boards in that they have certainly taught me a thing or two over the years, especially when I was new to all this. If nothing else, I’ve learned there are thousand different reasons why we as clients are here, just as there’s a provider out there that can fulfill any specific look, desire, or need.  
   
 I was glad to come across this particular post, as I feel it is long overdue. Lately I find that I read through threads less and less, and when I do I often come away feeling a bit depressed. It’s sad to me that so many posts either start out or become tilted towards negativity and general dismissal of any alternate view or opinion (and it’s not just endemic to this regional board). I know this isn’t exactly a new issue and I know that by nature any internet forum gives voice to people whose main purpose is to vent or deride, but it’s so baffling to me that in this little corner of the world where we’re all trying to come together (in every sense of the word), that so many of us expend so much energy to make us all more separate from each other. Physical intimacy is such an incredible thing and that I find it amazing how many people treat it like it’s just a product. Ditto for how so many posts define both women and men in terms of either base economics or base motivations. What is wrong with us? I don’t understand why we can’t all treat each other with a modicum of respect. My God, we should be writing in praise of the art of the kiss, the incredible joy of an orgasm, all the amazing myriad ways in which people can relate to each other. Sure, there are many important protocol and social discussions that revolve around this “hobby,” and they should be discussed as well, but the discussions should lead to enlightenment, not name calling. Not mean-spiritedness. Sex (at least for me) should be a celebration, the ultimate act you can do with another human being, and I find it so incredibly depressing how many people seem to lose sight of that. I’m so tired of people bitching about fucking when in reality we should be rejoicing about it. And whether you define that experience as a 30-minute cum ‘n go or a week-long erotic escape, we should all remember that when you boil everything down it’s all about two people (or more, lol) coming together on the most amazing level ever invented. It should be a blast. Damnit, it should be wonder. It’s why nature gave us cocks and clitorises to begin with. Well, there is that procreation angle, but you get the point.    
   
 Yes, I’m aware that mine may be a minority opinion, but I’m fine with that. This journey is very personal for me, and if I’m some sort of romantic outlier, then so be it. I’ll probably crawl back into my den and hibernate for another couple years before posting again, but I’ll have one or more amazing women there to keep me company.

Perhaps is finding topics the ladies might want to post back on.

sitting this one out too.
Or business is good.

too bad, here in los angeles most guys are real happy to reveal their ter identities.  makes it easier to pm them, putting a face to the handle.

I love that last thing about a connection. Thanks Ep!  I think this thread has to do more with us guys getting our collective shot together and I really am impressed.  Notice how little bickering there was without any interference from ladies?

They are all touring lol

EOM

But I will say this, everyone in San Diego is a dick or a bitch because they simply aren't from here. I'm not from here, ill always be from New York, no matter what. But I'm nice to others cus I love people entirely too much to let it ruin my day.  

Though after living 15 years in Brooklyn, one can become pretty jaded.

I'm a native San Diegan and proud of it! I even have a certificate from the county clerk to prove it. The only time I spent away was during my military service. I love it here.

Many of the hobbyist that have negatively turned the San Diego discussion board into a less than pleasant place seem to be narcissists and thus are unable to discern their behavior as negative, confrontational or anti-social; and in fact feel  view their contributions as enlightening and productive to the board.

By definition "new guy" probably doesn't know how to do a search.