I really appreciate the gentlemen whom answered my queries, whether by post or pm. It shows what kind of person you are and I thank you for being part of this dicey conversation.

Yet not one of you really got what I was saying or asking ..

You have to let go of what you believe and open your eyes and hearts to something different, if my ideology is going to truly benefit you and your wife. You have to put aside the things you 'think' you already know. You have to be willing to strive to be a better person than you were yesterday by accepting responsibility for the way your relationship is, not by doling out blame of who is wrong but by realizing where we are not being the kind of person who gets what he wants in his own life. (Example - A husband wants a dirty slut in his bed but he doesn't create a safe zone at home for wife to feel secure that he won't judge her for being that way later, therefore she stays in a conservative mode to escape judgement.)

Now to some concepts and considerations that you may never have nor may not ever contemplate ...

- What if you took responsibility for the fact that you 'hobby' because of You? (not because of something She has done or isn't doing)
- What if she truly feels that you do not find her sexy?(most mother's see themselves that way)
- What if she is not prudish but was touched improperly at a young age?(when you feel abused sex isn't fun)
- What if she wanted to be taken care of sexually, the same way you are being when hobbying?(what's good for the goose is good for the gander)
- What if she never was given a safe zone to be a nasty slut in?(she was always told it was wrong to be naughty)
- What if you weren't resigned to the fact that she just doesn't want sex?(she doesn't feel romanced so why have sex)
-Why can you have great relationships with women you don't know and not have them with someone you claim you love?(time in service should count for something - right?)

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I know I sound like a therapist (I am one) but I truly do care about you All, including SO's. I care that you don't feel taken care of and I care that she has her issues(whatever they may be). I care enough that I want to transform the way we humans express and show our love for each other. I know every woman has a nasty slut inside and I know every man can be a knight in shining armor. I just want us all to enjoy every aspect of life, from birth to death, including the amazing world of SEX!!

What I have and am proposing is a new kind of relationship education. One where we can let go of our egos and love each other thoroughly and completely. Where we can take responsibility for our actions creating reactions. Where we choose to be the kind of person who gets what they want. Where we understand our view is not the only view and there are many possibilities. Where we get the results we want by creating the the opportunities by our actions. Where we can be free of judgement and hurt that only holds us back from our true potential as a lover, partner and friend.

My goal is to create the possibility for the world to have a new view of how to love and be loved. How to fuck and be fucked. How to share and be shared. The possibility where a man and wife can be married for 25 years and still have the best sex imaginable. The possibility of poly-amory where there is no feelings of jealousy only feelings of euphoria for all involved.

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Would you be willing, guys and gals, to attend a course like this? Are you prepared to take your life to the next level? Are you ready for the most amazing love life you can imagine? Do you dare try something new to get results you've always wanted?  

I am offering this to you ...

I can only wish and hope for the best for you all,
Chloe


-- Modified on 3/10/2013 7:45:22 AM

Chloe,

I love what you are trying to do and I am also sure I am not alone with that view.  I do believe it is very common for long-term relationships to fall into ruts of bad habits and resentment that decay much of the happiness that was there at the start.  It's really ironic that in our society you need a license to drive a car or practice a trade, but we essentially get no formal training on how to be a great lover, partner in a relationship, or parent.  I also believe there are preconceptions and fears that hold us back from our potential for happiness and growth.

But, personal change has to start from the desire.  I don't want to blame! But, I don't believe most wives have that desire to change - especially in the way you want.  If you ever read the comments section from a Kim Kardashian story, the meanest and most judging comments always come from other women.  How many providers out there feel like they can tell friends outside the industry what they do, let alone family?  Our culture just does not accept it - especially other women.  In fact, they have done studies that one of the biggest fears of a women is being labeled an outcast.  And I think most wives do not have the courage to head down this path that could have them branded by their peers.

I do believe there are women and couples that this could be an amazing opportunity for growth.  I certainly wish I was one of them.  But, unfortunately my guess is that the couples that need your help the least (are the most open-minded, communicative, passionate) would probably be the most interested in pursuing and not vice-versa.

I hope this isn't discouraging and you use it more just as another opinion for your "research."  I think anyone who has been a successful entrepreneur has faced many critics telling them it could not be done, the market is saturated, and no one will buy it.  Instead dream big.  Create change and the world you want.  Life is short!

Especially when it comes from their husband. The man they pledged a life to. The man who they said vows with. The man of their dreams. You.

It won't work you say - so when have you run from a challenge before? - that is a cop out and an excuse ... you can find a way to make your wife comfortable enough to want to be your bed mate - it just may take some time to woo her

Most often we lose ourselves in the moment and it takes being present to create the possibility for a renewed sex drive in a marriage ... you can't be resigned to the fact that she won't get turned on but rather open to the possibility that you don't know how to turn her on any more ...

The modality and methodology I incorporate are not a quick fix. You have to find patience. Be willing to work hard for the reward.

I have a few clients turned civilian to prove my theory. We started as provider and hobbyist(enjoying nasty and naughty playtimes) then morphed into sex therapist and client(taught him how to do it to his wife). But I can seriously say I helped create a safe zone in their marriage where their sex life evolved and is amazing. I also get thank yous from the wives, a very humbling gift.
I have even coached other girlfriends in how to get the most out of their sensual interactions in the hobby - making them better 'providers' in their own words.

It really just takes a man with the Balls to try it for it to work.
But I guess the payoff for not trying is better than trying with the possibility of failure, to those whom have not tried.

The real question behind it all isn't 'if she is willing to change' but rather 'if you are willing to be the man that turns her on' ....

If we take responsibility for our own actions then we create the opportunities for the things we want most in life and have results to show for it. By being(behaving) the way we want our life to be, we become successful. If we take the steps that put us in the path of our wants - we will get them!

But if you always do what you always have done, you will always get what you have always gotten.

I want you all - wives and SO included- to have the best and biggest O's imaginable!!

Love, hugs and smooches,
Chloe

Chloe,

I am not sure if I should just take my conversation with you to PM, given that it seems to be just us!  I could certainly shed some more light with specific examples of why I feel the way I do...  But, I do have some questions for you that I think are relevant to the group:

1) Its not clear to me if this has to be done as a couple or if just the guy can take the initiative/ownership with you?

2) Can you explain some more on what this session would look like?

3) I know each case is unique, but do you see a certain number of sessions as being necessary to make the breakthrough you are talking about?

4) Regarding cost, is this similar to other services?  Should people just get in contact with you directly?

Maybe we didn't get what you were saying, or maybe you didn't get our answers. I think we are simpler creatures as men than you think we are.

Yeah, maybe beyond all the angst and second-guessing of self-motivation guys are just looking pretty much for the thing in Al Pachino's noteworthy line from "Scent of a Woman": "...there's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pussy."  Only to be bested by his: "When in doubt...fuck!"

And you prove my point directly
If that's how you think your marriage will stay the same ...
Kissez,
C

And this is exactly why the Hobby exists ...

I read ads written like Harlequin romance novels. I visit websites with obtuse concepts like "Interlude" and "Allure."  And despite all the data that says I go from "ad" to "pics" to "rate" to "menu," they still write like their target demographic is, say, other women.  or themselves?  

Despite the above, I would never presume to tell someone how to run their business. I find it interesting that someone would tell me I'm Hobbying incorrectly or for the wrong reasons.

If I want therapy, I'll hire one. If I want absolution, I'll see a priest. Education? A Professor. And if I want my brains fucked out ...

but I don't confuse one for the other.

I must have missed your first post.. But I do have some thoughts to share..

First I have been able to watch you grow and evolve into an extremely beautiful and intuitive lady. i look forward to reconnecting and exploring a new adventure.

During the past years the hobby has allowed me to grow at a fast rate. I am now coming full circle and putting life's relationships in their place.  One of the things I have found is a open mind is a rare and beautiful thing, but so few people exercise their minds. I can give examples from politics, to terrorism, business, and love, sometimes it can be impossible to open another persons mind and to show them another way.  But first we must want to experience or see something new. For many the safety of their own ways is comforting and for them if there is no desire to explore new things. So who am I to force change upon them.  But then again is it my duty as a human to help everyone around me experience joy and love?
perhaps more people like chloe can change the world. If she can show one person the way and they can show someone else perhaps we can all experience love and happiness!

Personally I am an adventurer, trying something new that is outside your comfort zone is exciting for me! First it was the hobby what a rush! Then came the beautiful people. Now I cant get enough of them. Love is an interesting term. I can say that I have never been in love at least in the traditional sense. But if only for a moment I did experience what making love was like. Because it takes two to make love!

We all change and grow. Some of us climb out of the box and want to run naked and free and suck up all that is unknown. That is why I refer to myself as an adventurer. But I wasn't always that way. Others like my SO are comfortable  staying in their own little world, but I wonder about her happiness,. What are the things i can do to make her take the road less traveled?

One of the things I have learned is a sense of humor and happiness is the key to great sex and intense Orgasms! So if you or your SO are unhappy, seek out those things that bring happiness back to you!