I know it is late, but things at work kept me busy so I missed the deadline for April 1st. Nevertheless, given the sagging economy and world events, I thought a chuckle would be in order. Please note that this is not meant to insult, harass or otherwise offend anyone, it is just in jest.

Services Offered:
Massage: Never
Cum in Mouth: You’re kidding, right?
Sex: Only if she wants something
Lick Pussy: Only if she’s asleep
Blow Job: If I am very lucky
Anal: Hahahahaha!!
Touch Pussy: Yea, right.
No-Rush Session: Only if under 2 minutes
Kiss: Only if she wants something
Multiple Pops: Not in my lifetime!

The General Details:
The years have been less than kind to her. Her once firm breasts are now sagging, her once lithe and supple body is still carrying quite a bit of “after-baby-fat” despite it being more than 12 years ago, her long, her long, flowing auburn hair is now short and gray and her cute little ass,...well, let’s say that there is a lot more if it than there was before. Came home from the salt mines, ate dinner and then watched some TV before she indicated it was bedtime. I went into the bedroom where I saw that she had changed into her....(caution: only the brave need read further)

The Juicy Details:
...long flannel nightgown with white socks on her feet. She had already taken all of the money out of my wallet and indicated that she needed more. With the formalities out of the way,  I disrobed and jumped into bed nuzzling her neck to which she said, “I guess you want some tonight?” I answered affirmatively to which she started to whine and commenced a lazy, dry HJ. I attempted to find my way through her unshaven, hairy puss for some DATY to which she said, “Don’t lift the covers, it is cold out there.” She then started a half-hearted BBBJ for a few minutes before deciding I was hard enough to start with some mish. I wanted doggie and tried to roll her over but she wouldn’t have any of it and said, “Oh no, you are  not getting kinky on me tonight.” I decided to stay with mish and was able to pop before she said “Aren’t you done yet.” I try not to repeat, but I just can’t help myself.