Since you can't seem to find the answers to your questions, I'll make 2 suggestions. If you have a specific provider in mind, do a TER search on the escort list and see if she has reviews. If so, it will tell you most of her do's and don'ts. Second, if you have specific things in mind, don't discuss them in advance. Just wait til you get into your appointment and are already comfortable with her and she with you (more important), and then discuss it with her. If she's sure you are not a cop and is comfortable with you, she'll say yes and no directly. If it involves bringing specific kinds of outfits or toys, I'd suggest you see her twice and the second time you will get what you want.