SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a cross-country flight.
The flight attendant asked John, "Would you like dinner?"
John asked, "What are my choices?"
She replied, "Yes or no..."
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the boarding gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A woman was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but couldn't find one large enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead..."
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid he had stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the officer said.
The kid replied, "Oh, yeah? Well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead.
Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver replied, "No, I was delivering this bridge, and I ran out of gas."
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009!!!
A college teacher is reminding her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand!"
