Amazing how the most highly thought PS can screw someone over. As stated earlier everyone is not immune.
Just wanted to share my exeprience on making deposits:
1) I fianlly was able to make an appointment with a PS I have wanted to see for a long time
2) She required a deposit thru her assitant and for half of the time requested. I sent that. I was asked later in the week if I could send the balance due to some issues on her end. I did so because of her rep on the board. I joke with her that I am violating a major cardinal rule on sending deposits especially on first time encounter. She reminded me of her stauts on TER -check TER I have never ripped anyone off. She also joked that I wont have to worry aobut that when I see her.
3) Was asked for dates of appointment and sent 2 emails confirming
4)On day of appointment received a text around noon asking if my appointment for for the NEXT day. I reminded her of the 2 emails sent to her assitant and she had plans and we agreed to do late nite appointment
5) I asked her in she would feel a time crunch doing a late nite appointment. Her response was that dont expect unlimited time that although this is fun and we will have a good time that this is a business
6) Point taken but my concern was that she may be tired after a long day and that she may not be at her best. This all took place over text so the meaning can be misunderstood
7) Night of appointment. Arrive on time and send her text - no repsonse. Call no repsonse. Wait for 15 minutes try again. Visions of ripp of arec dancing in my head! LOL Was on my way out the door when when saw text that she had fallen asleep we are still on and she needs to get ready. Wait another 15 minutes then get ext saying she is tired and that she would not be at her best and wants to cancel
8) No problem. I'm frustrated at this point. She says she can give me half at this time. A couple of dropped calls trying to give me her room number and while she was talking I snapped a little and said could you just give me the room number. I think that offended her. But i was tired and apologized later. finally got to her room and she did give me half of what was owed. Was happy to get something
9) She told me to give information to her assitiant so that balance could be me I assumed this would happen next day
10) Contact PS around 11pm letting her know that I had not heard from her assistant that that and that I gave her my paypal info. I was informed that she does not do paypal and that is why I probably did not hear from her
11) Contacted PS the next morning and was told agian to send Western Union info to her assitant and stop hounding her.
12) Contacted her assitiant and she told me she does not send Western Union that it is the PS who does that.
13) Now I am confused. I send email to assitant asking her would she ever let me book the PS pay half of her fee and let me pay the balance 2 days later.
14) Assistant gets back to me and says she is just the messenger. I apologize to her and let her know Im not mad at her but just understand my frustration. When Iwas being asked to send moeny up fron I was the good guy - now that I want it back I am the bad guy!
15) No more communicaation with PS. Have to deal with assistant now.
Bottom line. This happened Wednesday of this week. I have been told that I will receive the balance on Tuesday. The PS is frustrated with me because I want my money back but as much as she assures me she will pay, she doesn't understand I dont know her and aside for the 20 seconds I saw her when she handed me the partial refund how do I know she will come through. If that was the case I gusess she could have trusted me that I would show up and not take a deposit. Because she says so? I trust her to a certain point. But as she said earlier this is a business too and in my opinion sending a refund almost a week after she cancels is not good business. She tells me that she is not like other girls. Right now I'm not so sure. I like to give the benefit of the doubt but I feel I desrve my refund at time of cancellation.
I am in holding pattern now until Tuesday. Was it unreasonable for me to expect a full refund at the time of cancellation?
Apprecaite your comments
BTW - NO MORE DEPOSITS FOR ME! EVER!!
mtbsw
I would not expect a full refund at once, but, I also expect the person to be honest with me and let me know when I can get my money back and not have me jumping through hoops.
I understand a girl wanting a deposit if you are putting her on a plane or getting her to travel.
My advice, if you don't hear back or get your money by Tuesday, let us know who it is so she can never say "check TER" again.
-- Modified on 8/29/2009 7:45:08 AM
there is nothing more frustrating then getting your hopes up to see someone you're really excited about meeting, only to be treated like this. I rarely will pay a deposit, although i did to see Kate Frost, but can say that the few times i have i have never been ripped off. I would only consider doing it with well known ladies, but it seems from some of the posts here that even some of them are guilty of negligence..
hopefully you'll get your money back when she returns home from her trip and can settle her accounts. If not, you should acknowledge who she is.
sorry about what happened....
And you and I had this conversation on the phone many times before she came into town..A HUGE red flag when a lady needs a the full deposit from a total stranger! I understand a $100 deposit but nothing more and if she cannot get enought appointments than perhaps she is not as good as you may think..
Just like I told you when you came to her room she had the full amount with her so I would have demanded the full amount! I should have booked with her the next day and said "Look before we start here is half of your money..I will pay you the rest as soon as I can"..LOL.
That upfront full deposit went towards her unpaid bills! Bottom Line and I will be shocked if she pays you..
I just do not understand why you guys believe a total stranger when it comes to money..LOL..I have paid ladies upfront, Have even paid them weeks after the session, Have written a check, but I already knew these ladies (one for 6 years!)..Would I do this to a lady who does not know me..Hell No! Just like they would not let me pay later..
Danny
Trust me lesson learned!! I do feel this is the part of the price of playing the game. You go with your gut feelings, sometimes you win sometimes you lose.
The final chapeter has not been written and if things do not pan out I will glady reveal who it is on Tuesday. I just wanted to post this to let guys know that even with a well reviewed, highly respected lady hiccups can occur.
The funny part of this is I get the feeling she feels she has done nothing wrong and this is all my fault. Like i said - no more deposits for anyone.
mtbsw
next time a lady asks me for a deposit, I'll ask her to check TER, and call so and so (PS) to confirm that I don't back out of appointments.
I feel for you but to be honest, you are enabling her by keeping her name to yourself. I can understand why you wouldn't want to post it out of concern that you won't get the rest of your $$$ back but that's really the whole point of this. She asked for the deposit to ensure that you would show up for the appointment, which you did but she wasn't ready. At that point, the entire deposit should have been returned to you with an apology. She should not have spent it until the "work" was done just to protect herself from this type of situation occurring.
With that said, no one's perfect and people make mistakes. She's exacerbated the mistake, though, by playing games and giving you an attitude instead of just being up front and honest about her situation.
Its up to you but regardless of what happens Tuesday, you really should disclose her name. Otherwise, other TER members may have to go through this same thing when it could have been avoided.
So what happened yesterday? Did the PSE return the deposit?
I bet he still wont name her now and kate frost has a new thread anybody from here going to call her out for ripping off customers?
I'm lucky. When I first started in this hobby, like most people I went through agencies. By the time I had become savvy enough to book directly, I was well known, and to be honest, most PSEs wanted to see me because they knew that my reviews were read and respected. So even girls who normally requested deposits never asked me for a dime up front.
That being said, I'm not 100% opposed to giving deposits... the trick is to know who you can trust and who you can't.
There are a handful of girls in this hobby who give hobbyists the best of both worlds - In the room, they perform like you're the best lover they've ever had and make you believe that they'd fuck you for free, but before and after the date they treat it like it's a business, which let's face it, it is.
Off the top of my head, I wouldn't hesitate to give ladies who require deposits like Kathy Willets, Sara Jay or Keisha a full deposit, knowing that if something happened that made them miss the appointment I would receive a prompt refund. And I'm sure there are others who are just as professional.
In most of these stories about guys losing their deposits, I don't think it's a matter of a girl intentionally ripping a guy off; I think it's just that for whatever reason she's just incapable of doing things in an organized fashion. There are a lot of PSEs who don't require depsoits who flake on their appointments for the same reason.
So if the girl is a train-wreck in her porn careeer and personal life, who's been in and out of the business several times, who changes boyfriends every two months, who's known as a party girl, then you have to assume that she's irresponsible in her life in general and can't be trusted with deposits. Boards like this are an invaluable source of information like the above, as are many of the industry boards who gossip about the pornstars like old biddies.
I once booked an ATF through an agency, and the agency owner told me that to get her to her tour city, he'd have to call her in the morning to get her to the airport on time, have her call him when she reached the airport, tell her what flight and gate she needed to go to, have her call him when she got off the plane to tell her the name and address of her hotel, have her call him when she reached the hotel to give him her room number, then call her two or three times before an appointment to remind her about it. Can you imagine this girl trying to be an independent provider???
So rather than making a blanket statement saying that I'll never do a deposit, I'd do some due dilligence regarding my intended PSE meeting and make an informed decision based on that.
Just my two cents...
I find it interesting that Hobbysts are expected to go through a lot of screening to see a provider. But when hobbysts ask for all their money back when they are stood up they have to go through even more hoops. Anything short of 100% refund is stealing by the provider.
Given the state of the economy & lack of work in movie's I think a lot Porn Stars are hurting financially.The best thing to do right now is to not give deposits. They are some excepeions as Fast Eddie has mentioned.
MTBSW you are not the first and you won't be the last to be in this situation.
I hope things turn out good for you.
...never....NEVER EVER EVER pay ANY deposit or "loan" any money to any provider unless you accept that there is at a MINIMUM a 20% chance you will never see that money again.
This hobby is just like any other illegal activity like drugs or gambling, you just have to accept that at some point you will for 100% sure be ripped off.
There are a few exeptional women who can handle the heavy emotional toll of their their chosen profession and stay businesslike outside the bedroom, but they are the rare exeption. Most providers don't enjoy their job and veiw us simply as marks to be picked off. Thats why I have narrowed my list to a very select few, whom I can assure you, know how to carefully select their clientele and don't need to ask for a deposit.
Bottom line:
1) You got ripped
2) Reveal her name so others won't
3) Have a sparkling day 
I second that no-deposit reasoning but outing her needs to be back channel.
This needs to be made public..Just like if a guy stiffed a lady it should be made public so this non sense can stop and ALL ladies are aware of it..
Backchanneling is for things such as a lady has body odor, a dirty place, or she does things not posted in her reviews..
D
It was somewhat difficult to read, but from what I gathered you were ripped off for the remainder of your money that the PS said she would return to you.
WHY are you not exposing who she is?
That is one of the main reasons for this board to exchange good and bad information.
It really get's my goat when a "well reviewed" PS screws someone,,, no one says a thing.
But when you want to rip into somone for having a drug or alcohol problem, they come out of the wood work to complain.
The only way to solve this problem and to help insure that other ladies take notice of the consequences, expose her.
This causes ladies who are sincere and professional a problem.
Just pisses me off to no end.....
Ok, first of all you and I have discussed this over the phone yesterday. I told you them I I tell you again, you should have NAMED HER ON THIS BOARD yesterday or even the day before. Right now you feel pretty stupid for paying a deposit up front, and you feel you may not get the rest of your deposit back. Meanwhile she feels nothing, no pressure, no guilt, and you're just being a nice guy about it. If you named her, she would feel like shit, and be damn worried about right her wrong to get her reputation back, YoU want your money?...Then do yourself and this board a favor by exposing her actions. If she pays you you can notify this board that she rectified the situation. But at least for the next two or three days or until she does pay you, she'd feel some pressure. You're being a gentleman to someone who doesn't deserve it and you leave the door open for some other board member to put himself into the uncomfortable position that you are in now.
Second of all, NO DEPOSITS, EVER. Your a long standing hobbyist. Your have established a long list of credible references and there are many well known and credible hobbyists who you can count as friends. Certainly with that, no reliable provider would need any deposits. You admitted broke your own rule. Shame on you.
And as for the girl who did this, she should be smart enough to know that you have discussed this incident with myself and I assume a few other senior hobbyists. WE ALREADY KNOW HER NAME and what she's done will be discussed and remembered. She needs to know her reputation is already damaged by her actions and that if she doesn't pay you, she will not be as favored on this board as she has been, Her business is already slow enough, but this type of action on her part will damage her business even more. She should not let her Tuesday deadline pass without making sure you're taken care of.
And I told him the same thing that he should have named her on this Board and than once she paid than say "Everything is cool and we worked it out"..
The way it is now she will not make the deadline because there is no pressure..In fact I guarantee she will not pay him because she already spent the money..
And I have never seen girls like Raquel Devine ask for a full deposit or any deposit for that matter when she tours..Heck I am the one asking her can I do a deposit so that I can bring less money!
D
I too have been rather lucky in my meeting with PSE's.
I have meet with (starting with most recent):
Sara Jay (x2)
Katja
Harley Davis (x2)
Teri Weigel
Brigitte Monroe
Ryan Conner (x2)
Miko Lee
Wanda Curtis
All have traveled to my location without deposit. Except for Sara. since I had dealt with her assistant prior i had no issue with a deposit.
But my last attempt to meet with a "well thought of PSE" did not pan out. She took my deposit (actually pre-paid session for discounted multi hour session).
We had talked on the phone and she told me how she was looking forward to meeting. Well she never showed. Actually she disappeared from this board and posted a couple of times this year. Attempts to contact her have gone unanswered to this day.
I thought about revealing her on this board but its a double edged sword. She is "well reviewed", "well respected", "highly thought of" Heck even Eddie picks her as an exception, and I would be thought of as a troublemaker. No one would accept a booking from me.
Now with a few more PSE meetings under my belt since my mental lapse I agree with the concensus, no deposits and name the PSE.
Mine was Keisha. Proof that no one is immune.
That is why I was hesistant to see her because she wanted the full deposit for a discounted session and I just was not feeling it..
Thanks for saving me money!
Danny
Im also shocked and would have never expected her of all people
I'm shocked and suprised.
Pretty sad when a board dedicated to information about this hobby can't even be posted by a hobbyist because he fears a backlash.
Teri Weigel traveled to your location with no extra charge, wow. How long ago was that? Why no review written on Teri?
Sad but real. Especially when your new.
How many times have you seen a newbie get a new one torn?
Someone unfamiliar makes a negative post about a provider who has been discussed quite a lot in a good light and your thinking to yourself "who is this joker", "does he realize what he's posting".
You would say he has no credibility.
I know that's the way it goes because I think the same way. Until somebody with history vouches for them. Or they establish it with well written posts.
As for Ms. Weigel, I saw her 4 years ago before I was posting on this board and felt comfortable enough to post reviews. She was in the vicinity on a dance tour and made a stop in town on her way to the next city on her tour.
Revealing her name not only helps keep other guys from experiencing what you're going through, it also removes a cloud from the many providers who require a deposit bit would never do something like this
Without going into great detail, which I have posted previously some time ago, I had a similar experience with Kate Frost, one of my all time favorites who, due to a booking through an agency that conflicted with our scheduled meeting, canceled on me. We spoke on the phone and she was apologetic, and offered me a full refund of the half session deposit she had insisted I wire her. I was of course disappointed, but things happen and she seemed sincere about the refund. Of course,that was just wishful thinking on my part. Once she left my town she ceased all communications with me, completely ignoring my emails to her and her then assistant. Years later, I have yet to see a dime of the deposit. The only good thing to come out of the experience is that I had the pleasure of spending time with Dru Berrymore instead, who is quite a remarkable woman. Caveat Emptor!
This discussion reinforces my attitude of No Deposits. Ever. I've also had bad experiences with deposits and so don't do them any more. It means that I won't get to see any of the girls represented only by agencies and people like Pamela Peaks since Pamela insists on a deposit... but so be it.
My feeling is this: no matter how honest you are, and no matter how well intentioned you are, shit happens. Even if the pornstar or agency isn't planning to take the money and run, and they really, really, really intend to be at the correct place at the correct time, shit happens. I'd rather have the money in my pocket, then try and get it out of someone later on when I don't know that person's real name or real address.
Now if Pamela (or whoever asks for a deposit) is willing to give me their full legal name, their full legal address, and either their driver license number or social security number, then I'd consider sending a deposit. But that aint likely to happen...
I've booked multiple times with Pam Peaks, providing a small deposit (small relative to the overall donation) each time. On two occasions, I experienced a last minute appointment cancellation. Each time, Pam refunded the deposit within 24 hours.
Take it for what it's worth.
Best regards,
Talisman
Amazing how the most highly thought PS can screw someone over. As stated earlier everyone is not immune.
It's been two days so whats her name?(tuesday has gone and past.)