She was so nice via email and always responded promptly. Thought she was actually going to show. I thought since she was going to drive from LA to SD to meet me a deposit would be necessary.

unfortunately I used cash to make he deposit

If you quoted someone a price for your services, and they said it was too much, then sent you a fifth of what you asked for, wouldn't you be insulted?

Unfortunately you are completely wrong here. There is no her side of the story because she has not responded it to any of my emails. She checked me ou here on TER and asked for references so she knew I was serious. I am not upset about being out the 300 I just wanted to warn everyone else about her. In order to refund me she needs to respond to any of my emails. Credit card deposit was not an option the only option was a direct deposit into the account.

Now, would any of us really want to try a chargeback on our credit cards for a hobby related charge?  My experience on chargebacks on merchandise is that the card company gives you a temporary credit while they investigate your assertions and let the merchant tell their side of the story.  Now, what do you think a provider who has just had your deposit pulled out of their bank account is going to say about the transaction and you?  That's a scary thought, frought with risk.  If the true nature of your charge becomes known to the card company, just remember that many card companies are going beyond payment history and income and making credit decisions (including reduction of credit lines and cancellation of cards) based upon where you charge and what your charge.

Must make this comment, however. Do not restore her besotted reputation until she has made good. Not with words, but with deeds.

This seems to have been largely a series of miscommunications...SFNick probably shouldn't have sent the $300 unless they had discussed and agreed upon it as a sufficient deposit to protect Helena in the event she made the drive to SD and he did not show.  If Helena had concerns about making the drive from L.A. to SD, she probably should have made those clearer or just said she didn't want to do it on a first meeting.  And, when she received the $300, she probably should have contacted SFNick immediately to send it back if she didn't feel it was sufficient to make her feel secure about making the drive.  While the agencies are often bashed here for adding to the PSE's rate, this is they type of thing that is less likely to happen using an agency.

With all of that said, one suggestion to avoid all of this would be not to schedule an overnight for the first meeting.  Do an hour "trial run" and meet in the middle (e.g. Orange County).  Its possible it might just not "click" between SFNick and Helena but if it does, the overnight can then be scheduled but the PSE and client are hopefully more secure with knowing what the other is like.  Just a suggestion.