I had a chat with a provider recently about the type of clients she sees.  She broke them down into 3 groups: short stays, overnights, and high rollers.  Short stays being 1 hour clients, overnighters being 3 or more hour clients, and high rollers being clients that have a provider spend one or more days with them.

It was intriguing to hear that, to her, the wealthiest high roller men that saw her most wanted an emotional connection with her.  She said the high rollers, moreso than short stay or overnighter clients, wanted an emotional connection.

Though I've come far in both the seduction and hobby games in the last 3-4 years, the notion of a high roller wanting an emotional relationship with someone that is a provider is not something I readily understand.

Of course, the appeal of the hobby is sexual variety, anonymity, and availability with relativly little drama.  But, to me, the quest for money and power is done in the interest of attracting gorgeous women that don't need an envelope to play.

There is no doubt that the high rollers she speaks of are married and need to keep up appearances.  And it's clear that any provider of any capacity knows how to keep quiet.  So choosing a provider, rather than a mistress or fling is going to keep your marriage safer and your libido fed.  (Seeing clandestine providers, rather than having flings, would have kept David Letterman out of the current situation he's in.)  

But the one missing puzzle piece is: Why do high rollers need an emotional connection more than a normal client?  Ego, insecurity, guilt?

This is a bit off topic, but the porn star board is always on target when it comes to assesing topics such as this.  Thanks

I think the provider is a little off thinking that wealthy men who spend more money (and have the money to burn) are more so looking for an emotional connection than a guy who can only afford a one to three hour stay.

She should have put it like this. The once and done types are looking for sex, generally speaking. The repeaters could be looking for a little more than just sex.

I've spent extended times with a couple different providers in my life, and, when you are spending entire days or nights together, weekends together, or taking a short vacation together, going out to dinner together, going to shows, or whatever, you simply get to know each other a whole lot better.  

First, if a guy doesn't really like the girl a lot, those types of things are not likely to occur.  So, right off the bat, there has to be some connection there to want to do that.

I don't think it's so much an emotional connection, I think it's more that you simply tend become friends with each other.

How do you define normalcy? The guys are booking the multi-hours or overnights *because* they need the emotional connection - they're not getting it anywhere else, and everyone needs the connection from somebody. The one- or two-hour guys just have the connection somewhere else.

If you are just seeing someone for 1 hour, you don't have much time. You go, do the deed maybe chat a little bit and there you go. Now, if you are spending a day with a person, you are going to have to interact more with the person, so obviously you are going to try and get some sort of connection with the girl so you have a great time.

The more time you spend with someone the more you begin to like or dislike them. So, a provider who is spending an entire day with someone will build way more of an emotional connection. But it's probably due to the fact that they are spending more time together. You also get to know the person better etc.

Realize that just because you spend a day with a provider doesn't mean you have more money than someone who spends less time... it might just mean you have more time.

Aren't we skirting around the obvious here?  I would think for 90+% of us, building any emotional connection with a provider simply makes the physical/sexual part of it better.  We're both more relaxed and can enjoy the experience to the fullest.

which i believe it is ... then that means it costs MORE to buy "frienship" than sex (on an hourly cash basis) ... which sounds about right if you think about it


to me hobby sex (esp. with a pornstar) is a commodity/service to be purchased. i put in about as much thought into it as when ordering from a menu in a restaurant (no disrespect to the ladies, but god only knows what they think of us!)


i don't mean to be judgemental (and i'll probablhy be called out for it) but i think the guys who routinely go for these extended frienship-for-pay outings with providers should put that time/effort/money into real (civilian) friendships

just my $0.02

Here is another look at it....sometimes the people with the most $$$$ can't make friends that easy.  So when they choose a companion (PSE or escort) the get the extended time or stay with said companion of choice.  So these people try to make a connection.  Because they can't in the real world.  Just like internet chat groups, myspace "friends" or online friends.  People cant make a connection in real life but they can in fantasy.  And lets be honest any time with an escort or PSE we are paying for fantasy.

Not to say you can't become friends with PSE or escorts because they are human too and will like or dislike people as they please.  But to many it is business and it is good business to be friendly and precieve some sort of connection.

well said ... and believe me i'm not trying to knock it (what they do)

i know guys who like to spend time cooking with these girls (i kid you not). i guess it's therapeutic, so good for them. some of the girls tell me they look forward to such dates (who wouldn't if the john is even a half-way decent guy who's just lonely)


while this is not my scene, i still consider myself "friendly" with some of my regulars, in that if something bad were to happen to them i would definitely care

and to wax sociologic ... let's face it, if it came down to having friends vs. anonymous sex, you'd probably be better of with having friends ... maybe even fake ones!  

The provider appears to be right about high rollers, at least based on the CNBC documentary "Dirty Money" (http://www.hulu.com/watch/83070/cnbc-originals-dirty-money-the-business-of-high-end-prostitution).  

I am not a high roller, spending days with a provider, but I am interested in 2-3 hour sessions with higher priced ladies that understand that I need more than opportunity for the sex to be great.  That means some connection beyond skin-to-skin.  This ain't love but it is more than wham-bam-thank-you-maam.

Z

High-rollers are usually very successful men with Type-A personalities.  They are work-a-holics who don't have the time to develop relationships with "regular" girls.

Classically, wealthy Type-A decision makers comprise a LOT of a dominatrix's business.  They have to be in control in their corporate life, so they want or need to occasionally surrender that control and be dominated by another.  In a way, it's the same thing... they're looking for an emotional outlet rather than a sexual one - often Dom's don't even have sex with their clients.  These guys want to give themselves totally to the Dom.

And let's face it, when you book a girl for a weekend or more, the fucking-to-dollar ratio goes way down.  I mean, how many times in a day can you have sex?  Especially if you're an older guy, which I assume most of the guys who can afford to take a girl away are.

So I'm sure most of the multi-day guys are looking for more than just getting their rocks off; they're looking for the ultimate GFE so they can experience something that eludes them in their everyday life.