As I am sitting here in NYC, just after posting my very own Eros ad for the first time, and answering phone call after phone call.  I am sitting here wondering how these men are calling, some sounding like straight lunatics, while others seem so friendly and outgoing, and are complaining about my rate.
   I have seen other girls rates, agencies rates, even independent non-porn star rates and mine is WELL BEYOND FAIR.  I offer 1/2 hours so that it is more accomodating while some girls dont even think about it.
   So here comes the question: To all of you famed Hobbiests, and PSE's........................
 What is the best way to be nice and blunt at the same time.  One gentleman told me that i wasnt even worth 1/2 of what i was asking....so then why did you call me weirdo? I guess that its just my first experience with this and maybe this is what it is, but any insight would be much appreciated...
Samantha Sterlyng

is there an echo in here? JUST KIDDING!!!

Seriously Samantha, I would say it just goes with the territory. It's like being a Hollywood star and expecting privacy as you walk down the street. I do sympathize with you - I wouldn't want to deal with calls like that either. You have the right idea for a response: be nice but direct - your reviews speak for themselves. Unfortunately, I suspect that most of the wierdos call just for the thrill of talking directly to a real-life pornstar and say things to get a reaction from you. The normal solution to that is to use a call screener (person or system) or limit the distribution of your phone info to a pre-screened client base.

Samantha, your first mistake is to list a phone number.  NEVER list a number, all you do is open up yourself to every wacko loser who has nothing better to do, other than to waste your time.

Unfortunately, there are plenty of guys out there who get off on trying to degrade a woman.  The easiest way is to call a number, and say things to try and belittle you, there is no risk to them when they do this.

The really sad thing is, it's the only way they  know how to act, they think they are a "real man" when they abuse women , when the truth be known, they are just frightened little boys, who can't develop any normal relationship with a woman, nor can they afford to see you.

The world is full of losers, men and women, yet I doubt that there are very many women who would do such a thing to a male escort.  

Just e-mail me, and I'll fill you in, but in a nutshell, conduct your business via e-mail, and secure EVERY appt. with a deposit,unless he is a regular, then and ONLY then should he be given a contact number, this procedure will determine who is sincere, and who is not sincere.

As to what to say, tell them  "BITE ME"

Of course this is only my opinion.  Good Luck, Kathy Willets

-- Modified on 7/17/2004 12:06:12 AM

it is definitely better to communicate via email, but obviously it is faster to communicate and arrange business over the phone

First thing, IMO, is to avoid 1/2 hr bookings. Yes it makes things perhaps more affordable, but there is a certain clientele that comes with that territory - and these people are harder to satisfy.

Second, is to decline professionally. Phrases such as:

"well it's unfortunate that we can't come to an agreement. perhaps you can take some time to reconsider and call me back if you would like to go ahead with the appointment"

"there's no need to argue. It sounds like I don't fit your needs, so you would probably be happier seeing someone else who can accomodate you"

How right you are lol you sure do have a knack for explaining things    ps Samantha you sure cant go wrong listening to Kathy.Boy you talk about a pair of beautiful women

Samantha - you are fair and great!

Unlike my office you don't have to stay on the phone if they're being a jerk.  I say tell'em "thanks for calling, Goodbye" and hang-up!

Come back to Boston and don't post your number - we have our share of weirdo's too!

It's sad that people can be that rude and insensitive.  It's probably just best to remind them that there's a variety of girls at a variety of rates so they should be able to find someone else that fits within their range.  You don't need to defend your rates to anyone.

It would probably cut down on the calls if your rates were listed in the ad, although I'm sure some guys would still call just to get off on being mean.  You may want to also consider Kathy's suggestion about limiting the first contact (at least for Eros) to e-mail.

Well, Samantha, in every profession, there are lots of people who make crank calls, and, in your case, there are lots who just want to say they spoke to a porn star.

"What is the best way to be nice and blunt at the same time. "

There are several ways, depending on the situation:
1) If they say you're too expensive, then say, "All right then, but that's the rate a porn star charges."
2) If they say you're not worth it, then say, "If that's how you feel, fine."
3) If they shout at you, hang up - no need to be polite and say good bye.

Ultimately, if you cater to the mass market, you're going to have to deal with cranks - especially in Nuuuu Yuck.

...if you'd like to have a million headaches and bring your business to a crashing stop, then by all means please start asking for deposits. There are plenty of PS providers who get along just fine without having to resort to collecting cash up front.

the best way to be "nice and blunt at the same time" is to be just blunt (drop the "nice")

these jerks get off on engaging you in a pointless conversation, and the longer and more polarizing the better  ... your best response is to be curt, blunt, short and jolting

what's the point of being nice to one of these guys?  to turn their mind around to coming to see you anyways?  if i was a PSE i wouldn't look forward to treating a jerk who thinks i'm cheap

Samantha,
First set your rates, stick to them, and have no regrets.
You could set your rates at $10,000 an hour and you would still have nut-jobs calling you. I cannot afford  the rates that some PSE providers ask; but, that's life. I feel that asking a provider to lower her rates is the same as asking her to lower her performance.  If you browse many of the reviews of some of the top porn escorts they all come across very bussiness like or even cold on the phone, then once you meet them they warm up and you have a great time.  You have to protect yourself and your investment( which is you!!!)
I would agree with the above advice use e-mail or have an answering service?
My 2 Cents.
SIr

Samantha,
Being in a "customer service" business (retail) myself, I put up with ignorant jackasses all day long. They're always looking for something for free or discounts. I simply tell them thats the price if you don't like it, you should try somewhere else. I don't think there is any reason to be nice. State your rate, if they don't like it or start complaining, hang up.
Your Readheaded Philly Friend

Personally, I think it's a New York thing.  New Yorkers always seem to be looking for an angle, a deal, or a panic attack.

Hi Samantha, had the pleasure of meeting you at this year's AAE show here in Las Vegas. You were/are beautiful, funny and sexy. A 1/2 hour with you would be great! So, please come back to Las Vegas when you can. Sincerely, Martin

I think you are somewhat confused.  By requiring a deposit, you NOW have negated a million problems,(as you stated).

With a deposit, you now know that person "A", is sincere, and that the time that you have set aside for his appt., was not wasted.  A set amount of a time period, where the provider took time out of her busy schedule, be it in her private life, or while on tour, to accomodate his request.

By securing all of your appt's with deposits, a provider is not sitting in a hotel room, wondering where her appt. is, because he doesn't even have the decency to call and make up an excuse.

This after spending a considerable amount of time getting prepared, going without a meal, or any of a number of other things, that all of us,( men and women), need to accomplish in their everyday lives.

Girls such as Keisha, Anna, I believe Ryan, and myself, ALWAYS require deposits, because OUR time is just as valuable and important, as the men who arrange for appt's with us.

When a girl has established a working relationship with a particular gentleman, over several appt's, no a deposit is not necessary.

There is only ONE way to determine if a gentleman, (if he is new to you as a provider), is sincere and honestly wants to spend time with you, ( and not just waste your time), and that IS with a deposit.

I do believe that from a past post by singleton, the girls with the highest average's on ALL of their reviews, are the girls who require deposits.  I wonder why?

I can't speak for the other girls that I mentioned, but I am as busy, as I want to be, so your statement that her business will come to a crashing stop,,, is just fluff!

I agree w/ Kathy on this one, maybe the phone number wasn't such a good idea.  If you're going to have a phone number, maybe you should have a hired and trusted associate to pick up the phone for you. I imagine it would cut down on your stress big time to have someone filter out the wackos for you. What I would do if I were in your position is update the ad just with your email, and request a specific set of information to weed out most of the phonies before you even talk to them...full name, work number, and references.

Also I think your rate is fine! You've got a solid# of credentials and your reviews are flawless. You are a true beauty, you deserve nothing less.

BTW I hope you stick around NYC as often as you do nowadays, I would really regret having a chance to meet you!

ks

with you and you and if guys don't see what they are getting when they see you that they are LOSERS and don't waste your time even thinking about them.  You are great value for a PS and are 10 in the service you provide.  I really can't wait to see you next time you cum to NYC. The vid is great, again, you are amazing, Thanks.

...there's another where the hobbyiest got ripped off. So if it's up to me, I'll skip the deposit and find someone with good reviews and no deposit necessary -- and there are plenty.  

But to each their own.

-- Modified on 7/18/2004 11:10:13 PM

Undoubtly, you are correct.  However, I would venture to say that for all of those horror stories of hobbyist's being ripped off, they can be attributed to the "well known" flakes of this hobby.

While not every hobbyist knows who of the Porn Star Escorts are flakes,,, not only in this hobby, but in their personal lives,, all you have to do, is do a search, plus backchannel.

It has been well documented here on TER, over the years, who are flakes, and who are not.  If someone is so dead set on visiting one of the newer girls, the ones who have to keep a slip of paper in their purse, containing their name and address, so they don't forget who they are, and where they live, plus directions on how to get to their local airport, and they are foolish enough to send a deposit, then they get what they deserve.

Of course, you could only spend time with girls who get EXCELLENT reviews, instead of just good reviews, but then again, you'd probably need to send in a deposit.

...with Sana Fey, Kiana, Shay Sights, Mia Smiles, Friday, and others who were all EXCELLENT and (at the time) did not require a deposit.

So there are options out there. Some safer than other. Some better than others. Some older and some younger than others. It's up to the individual now, isn't it?

That's all well and good, and your experiences with those ladies, ( I assume, don't know for sure, since you have no reviews), does speak for people having options.

However this thread was started by Samantha, looking for advice on a particluar problem.

I expressed to her that to avoid the problem in the first place, not to put up a phone number, only deal with e-mails, and require deposits to weed out the guys who just play games.

What advice have you directed towards the original post??????

If you don't know my reasons for not having any reviews by now then you haven't done your research...

As far as the original post is concerned -- my advice is use common sense and remember you could be working at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

thank you.

Over the river and through the woods to the land of:  "Porn Stars who only fly under the radar"

Or is it because; you feel compelled to not offer real help to other hobbyists?

Or perhaps you feel that by posting reviews, and obtaining some FREE membership time here at TER, that you would be accepting charity, and that goes against your strong moral character?

So your advice to Samantha is; just accept the harassment; because she should be thankful she's not working at KFC???  Real insightful.

Why does it take nearly 24 hours for your posts to be posted?

-- Modified on 7/21/2004 7:54:20 AM

-- Modified on 7/21/2004 8:02:59 AM

let me know...would like to play with your toes