One of the reasons I retired from this hobby is because I know that most ladies do not like doing this at all and like doing it with us old fat dudes even less. Face it, if they wanted to go get laid, they would be with a 20 something buff stud named Dirk, not us. Does it bother anyone else that the enjoyment is not mutual?
Before you jump all over me and say your ATF isn't like this, let me say that I know there are exceptions and this post is for discussion purposes only.
I totally agree but if you and her are going to be doing it you both may as well have some fun. I always try to make the provider laugh and happy. 20 somethings also aren't as secure with themselves and can be assholes(I was nice but obnoxious myself). It's a good break for the girls to have someone who is really into them. Ultimately it's a business but they are there to provide a fantasy for us. So don't think about it and have fun!
For any hobbyist to say that they don't mind that the enjoyment is not mutual is lying. If we didn't, we would not care about how we dressed, etc.. We want them to like us. And, to say that we should have the "hit and run" attitude is denial at its best.
I don't know if the majority of the ladies like providing or not. The two I have seen (Katja and Tiffany Mynx) were a blast. I had a great time in every way. And, I never felt like I was just a job to them.
One thing I do know is if the hobbyist is respectful, cares for themselves and is upfront with the ladies on what they are looking to get from the meeting... things usually work out.
~I can only speak for myself...but what I have found since involving myself in this hobby is: unlike the movies...there is the unknown, the risk, the want....all of those ingredients make for a super horny time, that in most of my meetings has done nothing but heighten my arousal and hunger to very steep heights...I LOVE IT ALL..perhaps more than my partner....I'm a fiend, and very proud of it.
I know its a business for the ladies, and for the majority, I know they really arent into it. I have been fortunate to have had a great time with several ladies, and I do know that some of them were into it and actually liked me. Now before I get jumped on for that one, how else do you explain multiple times together OFF the clock, overnight, etc... Now this is where it gets dangerous.
Even though its a business for the ladies, sometimes 2 people really do get along well, but the reality of it is, its a business, and the job is to make us guys feel like we are the only one to them.
Its easy to get it confused, and I'm speaking from experience on this one.
Cheers
Yes, I often fool myself. But, it really depends. I have been with girls who were just not into it and others that really were. One provider told me she always tries to make it work and have a great time and great sex. She said, it doesn't always happen but what is the point of doing this and not liking it? If I'm going to do it, I'm going to try my best to have a great time. Isn't that something we all try to do with our jobs in life? Why is it any different for the providers?
On some level, isn't the fact that the PSE has to be paid to be there mean the enjoyment isn't mutual? After all, she doesn't have to pay the hobbyist to be there.
With that said, I don't doubt there are PSE's out there that certainly do (or at least try really hard to) have a good time with most or at least a selection of their clients. Then there are probably some that put on a good act but really would prefer to be doing something else (or someone else). If guys can get away in their personal relationships with thinking about a PS while having sex with someone else, the PS should be able to do the same while having sex with a client. And, then there are those who will try but just aren't very good at "faking it," though that likely comes through in their scenes as well.
Hobbyists "fooling themselves" is probably at the heart of the angst about PSE rates. From what I've read here, I am convinced that most that post here to complain about rates really believe that the PSE's should be enjoying it as much as they are and if that's the case, why should they have to pay anything for it, much less what the PS (or her agency) is asking for.
I get what your saying and its largely true. That is why you have to keep it strictly professional and put things in perspective. Don't develop any feelings and don't make it more than what it is. She is only there for your cash and your there to enjoy her.
I'm certain that we often fool ourselves just as people tend to do in most aspects of their lives, be it convincing oneself of our importance at work when the reality is no one is irreplacable.... or convincing ourself that the gorgeous young pornstar we are spending the evening with is actually glad to see us....it is what it is... my job involves entertaining business customers several times a month, sometimes it's just lunch or dinner others I have to take them to clubs or events....maybe even set them up with female companionship...the whole thing can be very tedious, pretending to be a genial host even though some of them are not fun to be around....every so often however a client or group of clients will click and I'll think "hey this isn't too bad....this doesn't feel like work at all" ...so when it comes to the ladies I try and be one of those clients so the lady leaves thinking "now that was quite pleasant for an evening at work",....
sometimes you click, get along with the person, and it could lead to something (maybe a friendship, who knows). But, you'll be disappointed if you go in thinking that as it's more of an exception than a rule.
Thinking in absolutes is never good. Should you develop feelings? In a majority of cases no, but if the feeling is mutual, why not? It will likely not be the case but it could be. She is there only for your cash, but anything can happen. I will say again, it is likely that nothing will but since relationships have developed in this same scenario before, it could very well happen again.
I've been with escorts who where able to let go and enjoy the sex and I've been with some who where clearly not into it at all. One thing I have never done is fool myself into thinking that they are having sex with me for any reason other than money. I have my favs and they are the exceptions to the rule that you speak of. I know full well that every experience I have will not be of that caliber but an hour of average sex is still better than a lot of other things that take an hour and cost me money...
Do they enjoy it? Sometimes I care and sometimes I don't. I don't enjoy my job every day either but I'm always good at it.
The responses to this topic have been uniformly well-presented and perceptive. In my view, the escort work presents a lot of favorable benefits. Dining well with someone who adores you is not always that easy to come by in the real world. Ditto spontaneous travel to new spots around the map. And lastly, every time an escort meets someone new they have a chance of learning something new.
If they aren't jaded about sex and still regard it as a great pleasure, there would seem to actually be very little to not be happy about in the main.
And at PSE prices, chances are good that the clientele will be at least as respectful as the average date and the worshipfulness sure comes in handy when it comes time to get their pussies licked.
being serviced by a masseuse or a barber?
i don't lose sleep wondering if they'd rather not be serving me or that they dislike me.
of course, i will be friendly and polite with both, but as long as money changes hands, each side knows (or should know) what the transaction is all about
but unfortunately the intimiacy of SEX fucks with our minds ... thinking hobbying is about something else, which it ain't (or shouldn't be)
I agree to one point. But, have you never made friends with say a barber or someone who has done work for you? I made friends with the guy that owns a mechanics shops and helped me with my car and we are now good buddies.
Just because someone provides you a services you can't develop a relationship with them? I'm not saying that you are implying that it would be beneath you to do so, but to say it has to wind up being strictly business all the time is a bit too strict. Things happen, to say they don't and shouldn't is a bit naive since they have before in these situations.
yes, which is why i explicitly said: "i will of course be friendly and polite"
in fact, for some reason, i find it more likely to end up being friends with my barber (well maybe not the masseuse! LOL) than with a pornstar (who i know deep down will most likely just think of me as an ATM)
in my experience, very few friendships with providers last (for a variety of reasons and not all them mine) so not having them is not the end of the world to me.
Oh... I agree 100% with what you are saying. And I agree that a majority of friendships with providers won't last. The only point I was trying to make was that it's not a certainty that a friendship or whatever relationship one has with a provider won't work. The majority won't but some might.
agreed. to which i would add, that one of the best ways to kill whatever rare friendship may be budding is to loan them money
for some reason, at that point, even if they weren't thinking of dashing off before, they suddenly feel compelled to! 
at least when the barber owes me money, i know where to find him! LOL
This thread just makes me think of this episode... hahaha!!
That is hilarious! I forgot about that episode. You hit the nail right on the head.
Thank you Bridgette. PERFECT
I have only read the original posting and the I find the whole discussion to be ridiculous. It is intentionally self-deulsional on our part (sometimes), it is a connection (sometimes), it is totally faked (sometimes), it is what you pay for and earn (sometimes).
If it makes you happy and you have been respectful then why the fuck does the rest of it matter?
I prefer for the Board to have nude pictures, seductive advertisements from the ladies, links to great porn and Fast Eddie's stories.
Hope you're doing well.
Z.
I (personally) dont fake anything. If I am doing something that I think is not wking for me or the guy I will redirect the position and/or activity. I get WAAAAY to much into molesting (and those that have seen me will understand)and wish it would never end. You have to almost peel me off you...lol To each his own and I see the point in everyones mixed feelings. But it does all come down to fantasy...if you watch a porn and feed into the fantasy that reaches within you, why worry if the actors really had a good time making the flick. Just kick back and enjoy! ;-D
Boy, do we ever! Cash is King. One experience I had it was very apparent the PSE wasn't enjoying her time. I think her best part of her experience was the donation. That is why if you find a PSE that truly enjoys want their doing this hobby can be a lot more fun. If you have more cash to blow you can try til you find one; if your not as wealthy you had better do your homework.
At the end of the day they are "providers" as in a provider of a service. How they perform that service determines how successful their "business" is. So if a woman wants to act bored and uninterested well great, I mean she won't get real good reviews but hey that is her deal.
This board deals with Porn Stars. Women who are actresses. I mean I am not some 20 something stud muffin but I am quite a bit better looking than say Ron Jeremy, plus I have never had a single STD. Yet some of these same women get on stage and act like they are enjoying the heck out of themselves fucking him. I am just paying for the same service.
Who am I to judge why a woman is escorting? Or if she is really enjoying herself? Really how many discussions on this board have been on exactly that point? I am pretty sure that some of the providers on this board have gotten a bit testy over those exact kinds of comments.
I am paying for an act or fantasy if you will. If I wanted to put in the time and effort to find some hot young thing to nail I would. Believe me there are plenty out there that would very much like a kind, decent looking, financially secure man his late 30's. I have plenty of divorced friends who have done just that and found it not real worth their time.
So no I am not fooling myself. I do not frequent GFE type providers I pick out the PSE ones. Now if we click and have fun hey that's great, the lady just found a repeat client. But if not well on to the next one.
Maybe I am just a little bit different from most guys in the hobby.
I have "clicked" as well, but how much of that is just being very good at what they do and how much is genuine? I have made many friends here and I had a discussion with one about what it would take for me to do this if I were in their shoes. Quite honestly, I think I lack the constitution to sleep with someone like me.
I love these ladies, every single one of them. I also have had some amazing times, both on and off the cloak. Maybe I am being too in touch with my feminine side, but I have come to a point where I want some emotional connection before I can be with somebody. My last PSE was with a beautiful, well known lady and I fizzled. It was because I knew in the back of my mind that she wasn't into me or the hobby. I couldn't go through with it. I just wanted to hug her and buy her dinner and a glass of wine. LOL
I understand completely. I had a similar experience with a well reviewed provider in Las Vegas recently. It is part of the reason I don't post reviews any more.
I have a gift for putting people at ease, so it is easy for ladies to let their guards down around me. That is good and bad. Sometimes it makes for a great wild time and others well a very unhappy girl is unmasked. I just want to give them a big hug and tell them everything is going to be okay.
Sadly there are many beautiful kind women out there who are providers, or Porn Stars, or Strippers because they have low self worth. They are usually the ones who have been the victim of some sort of physical or emotional abuse. It is sad but it is the facts of the matter. They aren't going to be fooling anyone with half a brain into thinking they are really into it. These woman have no idea what they are truly capable of and likely never will.
There are also plenty of women in the same lines of work who are in it because they enjoy the sexuality or the money. They are self assured and understand what they need to do to be successful. So as long as these types of women act like they are enjoying it I really couldn't care less if they really are or not. If they aren't liking the sex they are liking the money!
I guess at the end of the day it all depends on how much the two persons involved associate sex with emotional attachment. For me it is very little. I have had some great non hobby long term sexual relationships with women I had zero emotional investment in. We just had mutual attraction and clicked sexually.
Heck I been in sales for 17 years so some would say I am just a whore in a nice suit!
SoFla I agree with you 100%. A couple of weeks ago I had a very simulir experience, I know how menacing that voice in the back of your head can be when you are out with a provider.
My favorite is when they contact me out of no where with a statement like "hey cutie what's happening". I constantly find myself asking is this a sales pitch or are they just bored and want to know what is happening with me in my life currently. Regardless of what I think I just chaulk it up to being part of the hobby experience and don't dwell on it.
I'm not paying for them to enjoy it, I'm paying for myself to enjoy it.
Whether they like doing what they're doing or not inconsequential as long as they perform well.
I totally applaud you!1 You are spot on with this concept and for all these people who truly think otherwise have bought into the concept of "great actress's. YES, there are exceptions to the rule with out a doubt, but for the most part, its a job to the ladies - acting, being pleasant. 99% of them dont like their job and would do anything to work elsewhere..not many can (or could) make the moeny they are used to and are not qualified for much else..some have gone back to school, etc..
Now to qualify this, my ATF (after truly dating and yes we DATED - meaning no "work" involved for 4 years) has become my wife (married for past 5yrs) and there isnt a week goes by that she doesnt thank me for helping her leave the business. Most of you know her and may have been with her, but, as she says, its great to move on. She still publishes the fact that she is available as it helps the website, but she is a true home body and enjoys it.
So I applaud you in leaving a "hobby" for the reasons you gave..at some point, we men should care about the person we are with, regardless of what the "scene is".
It's never even crossed my mind if they are into it or not. They do a great job making me feel like they're into it, and that's why I pay them.
What should I infer when a provider calls ME up and takes ME out for dinner and a date? Should I be confused or should I just shut up and say "Thank you very much!". This has happened more than once with the same person.
I'm young, 30yrs old and fit i work out 5 times a week and eat well.
i'm in this for other reasons than not being able to get a woman on my own...
in fact i've been able to establish long term buddy relationships with at least two providers so far, at either no additional cost or highly reduced rates and ramped up experience based on the fact that i'm closer to their age and good looking...
yes i did just toot my own horn!
Good for you...and not to be negative, but your list of reviews does not appear to include any PS's and you referenced "providers" as opposed to PS's, so at some level, you might be talking apples and oranges here.
you're abosolutely right. i haven't been with any PS's yet. Even though I could afford it I just refuse to pay that amount for sex.
for instance $1300 for a hour with rachel star or pay $1000 and have a full night with a regular provider who looks just as good and offers pse class service.
i'm hoping someday to get a peek at someone on the 3oo club but that's about it.
I guess we old, ugly dudes are at a decided disadvantage.
My experiences are probably atypical of the average hobbyist; a lot of my meetings have developed into ongoing relationships, some sexual, some not: So I've heard first hand the plain truth regarding what they think of escorting, and to tell the truth, it's probably a 50/50 split among the girls I know between those who don't enjoy it and those who do. Beyond that, a few REALLY hate it, a few REALLY love it, but most fall in the middle ground where they like it or not based on the guy they're seeing.
One thing else... most of the girls I know actually PREFER older men, and few of them care about what the guy looks like; personality and hygene is much more important to them having a good time than whether the guy is handsome or not.
Do we fool ourselves? The answer to that depends on what kind of (PS) hobbyist you are.
Type 1: Needs amazing sex or a specific unusual sex act. No desire for emotional connection, may already be in a relationship. Porn stars are wanted because they have more (established) ability to deliver on that need. Akin to the barber or masseuse. Hobbyists unlikely to fool themselves.
Type 2: Needs a specific psych/emotion met. Power, domination, thrill of the illicit, character role playing, etc. Again, the actress who is a PS knows how to read emotion and can deliver it. Hobbyists unlikely to fool themselves but will be "unfulfilled" if the provider isn't skilled.
Type 3: Celebrity seekers. "I not only know Ms. Porn Star, I've done her." Some hobbyists already get sex elsewhere, but they want the thrill that comes with having a little secret about having had sex with a celebrity. They aren't going to have sex with a mainstream access, so the PSE is a close enough substitute. Hobbyists might fool themselves into thinking the excitement is mutual, but probably not.
Type 4: Wants LOVE not sex. This type fools themselves over and over. They want to be appreciated, adored, made to feel like something special. Society has equated sex with love, so for $500/hr they can get love. Unlike a typical provider, a PS has the ability to become a "love object" in that she is in the public eye and a long term visual pattern gets into it. This hobbyist gets a terrible feeling 10 minutes after the encounter is over when they realize it was all just a paid fantasy.
I wonder if different providers attract different types. Does Kathy Willets get a different percentage of the four vs. Miss Debi Diamond vs. Sara Jay etc.?