Hey providers out there.. Any tips or advise on the three most common mistakes us men make when we try pleasuring you down their?
What advise would you give to us for those that want to improve their oral skills based on what you have experienced??

Thanks,

-- Modified on 11/19/2002 4:08:13 PM

Yes, ladies, please enlighten us so we can "get it right the FIRST TIME"!!!

Allright this is going to sound stupid, but the most common mistake you make is by avoiding the clitoris allmost alltogether, just because you think you've reached the promised land, doesn't mean you have, you have got to make visual contact with your target, because just licking the hood is a noble effort, and if you do it for long enough, I'm not going to lie, I want you to think you're doing a good job because I appreciate the try, but it's really just very frustrating to see you trying hard, and really, I don't think anyone wants to tell someone they like and want to see again that although he thinks he's close, he's not even using the right ball..uhm that sounds wrong, hmmm dont use a puck to make a field goal?(Disclaimer: when you hear later the rumor that Nikki told some guy he could only use his left ball to please her, that is not what I meant,and I am not prejudiced against the right ball, somehow singling it out) But seriously, I don't want to hurt someone's feelings, especially if his last 3 Ladies have him more convinced that he is the poonanie-eating-cannibal-King. I'd  rather leave his good sexual self esteem intact, but I grapple often with the "which is better, fake mutiple O's and have him walk away feeling like a champ", and  "maybe you owe it to him to teach him or to society, who the hell else is going to?  God knows the next girlfriend will be delighted with you, and him"  which...wait that kinda doesn't help me very much... uhm nevermind ignore everything I said...
just kidding...
the other mistake is assuming that we all like the same thing, at best it's improbable, at worst it's unconceivable... every clit is different. (why did a Monty Python song come to mind?)I mean I can honestly tell you that I go through stages, all throughout my life I've noticed this from age 12 or so, where everything just gradually changes in terms of sensitivity, and what the guy I was with used to be the , he was THE DATY GOD... the best I've ever had...I'd do a little end zone dance and spike an imaginary air ball!(after the effects of multiples and G-spot combo wore off and I could stand again, of course) Tehn one day it wasn't doing it for me, I couldn't bust even the tiniest one for him. It was like a period where I thought progressively that he was doing something different, which then made me wonder who else he was doing, how could they untrain him like that?? I even accused him of it, then to find out one day while doing myself manually (yes all the time),that the same stuff I'd been doing wasnt cutting it for me,either. Well hell if I can't do it with my own hand, how can I expect someone else to be able to with their tongue no less? I thought something was wrong with me, but then like a couple weeks or maybe 3 passed, and then suddenly everything went back to normal. So It may not always be about whether you're doing a good job or not, because maybe she isn't in that frame of mind, so to speak?  I'll tell you its only happened maybe 3 or 4 times in my life, since I started being orgasmic (age 12... I experimented alot with other girls at summer camp that year)so don't think it happens often,to other women, I haven't ever asked any of my girlfriends if it ever happened to them, but I bet it's pretty likely.
Hope that helped... at all even...  Ladies???? Help!

Niki,
That was very helpful. I would hope that if and when we get together if I make clear to you that I want to become better in this area, you would be upfront and tell me and not let me go on deceiving myself.  Many of us out there truly want to become better lovers, (obviously chemistry and Psychology play an important role)and if we can learn to improve, we will be better off for it...

Nikki,

Does that mean that spending any time around the pussy really does not do anything? Some women are so sensitive they can't handle direct contact with the clitoris. I guess maybe this just confirms what you said, everyone is different. Do you tend to find those that do make direct contact are too rough?

This will probably end up being one of the most useful threads I can take out of here....

Hope this helps!!!

-- Modified on 11/21/2002 1:52:44 AM

My best advice on that subject is to simly talk to your lady. Ask her what she wants and then give it to her. Most women given the chance would love to be able to tell a man "please touch me there this way" or something similar. A lot of girls however are afraid to ask because they don't want to hurt a guy's feelings. So that leads right back to communication. take the time to establish a repore that allows you guys to talk openly about wants, likes, dislikes. Also remember that everyone is different in terms of what feels good. If a lady lets you know in a sensitive manner that she would like something different, please don't take it as an attack on your technique!
 good sex( oral or coitus) takes both partners taking responsibility for their mutual good time. (God that sounds clinical) A guy can't give a girl a good orgasm unless she lets him know what he's doing right and vice versa. So be sensitive, open and speak up for what feels good!
 to answer you Nikki- I too, have noticed that throughout my life it seems my clit has sprouted legs and walked to a different spot.

Kiki,

Would that same communcation go to a provider? Seriously if you had a client that truly wanted honest feedback and wanted to improve in this area, you would work with him rather then fake orgasms??

Achilles,
 If I had a good repore with said client and he truly wanted to explore that then I would gladly give him as much feedback as he would like.